Siheyuan, integrating everything, cultivating the city

"Jing, I..." Li Xiangqian didn't know what to say. His heart was filled with bitterness and helplessness. All the apologies and regrets were on his lips, but he couldn't form a complete sentence. He knew that his wife was no longer as patient and understanding as before, and his silence and avoidance made her heart colder and colder.

"You don't have to say it." Liu Jing whispered, "I know you are tired, and we are all tired. It's just that sometimes, the pressure of life makes it hard to breathe. Sometimes, I even feel confused and don't know how it will turn out."

Li Xiangqian was silent. He knew that Liu Jing did not blame him, but rather let go of her feelings and expressed them to him frankly. She still cared about this family and this man, but her care and love gradually became a little obscure and no longer so direct.

"I..." Li Xiangqian wanted to speak, but found that he had no idea where to start. The complex emotions in his heart made him feel suffocated. He could feel Liu Jing's expectations and helplessness, but he didn't know how to respond. No matter what he did, it seemed that he couldn't eliminate the gradually widening distance between the two of them, but instead made this distance become more and more obvious.

At this time, the glutinous rice balls in the pot were cooked and floated on the water, white and tender, like small stars floating in the clear soup. Li Xiangqian picked up the spoon, carefully scooped up a glutinous rice ball, put it in the bowl, and handed it to Liu Jing.

"Eat it while it's hot," he whispered, his voice trembling slightly.

Liu Jing took the bowl, a complex emotion flashed in her eyes, she looked down at the glutinous rice balls in the bowl, and after a moment she took a bite. The glutinous rice balls tasted sweet, the soft and glutinous skin wrapped the sweet black sesame inside, and the warm temperature spread through the tip of the tongue.

"Well, not bad." Liu Jing nodded slightly, with a faint smile on her lips.

As the night deepened, the kitchen was still filled with the sweet aroma of glutinous rice balls, but Li Xiangqian's heart had already drifted far away. Liu Jing lowered her head to eat the glutinous rice balls, occasionally looking up at him, with emotions in her eyes that he could not interpret. But Li Xiangqian knew that this warm atmosphere would not last long.

"Jing," Li Xiangqian's voice was low and a little tired, "Do you think that our life now..." He paused, as if thinking about how to start, "Do you think that our life till now is really worth it?"

Liu Jing was stunned, her chopsticks stopped in the air, she raised her head slightly, her eyes were a little blurry, as if she was touched by Li Xiangqian's words. She did not answer immediately, but lowered her head and continued to eat the glutinous rice balls. Li Xiangqian looked at her and unconsciously clenched the spoon in his hand.

"Do you feel that everything you do is meaningless?" Li Xiangqian's voice suddenly became a little excited. "Have you ever thought that the dream we had at the beginning is now getting farther and farther away from us. We work hard every day, but we find that the money is getting less and less, the pressure is getting greater and greater, and the things at home are becoming more and more complicated." He paused, and his eyes began to become confused. "I feel more and more like a headless fly, busy and busy, but I can never see the way forward."

Liu Jing listened quietly without interrupting him immediately. She knew that Li Xiangqian was under as much pressure as she was during this period, and even more. Every time she saw his anxious and tired expression, she felt a little pain in her heart. However, life never gives people time to stop. Every day's trivial matters and responsibilities come like a flood, and there is no time to think carefully.

She lowered her head, gently put down her chopsticks, and took a deep breath: "Do you feel that I'm beginning to not care about you anymore?" Her voice was a little low and uncertain, but mixed with a hint of fatigue.

Li Xiangqian was stunned for a moment, looking at his wife with a confused look, "No... that's not what I meant. I know you are tired, and we are all tired." He lowered his head, his voice a little hoarse, "It's just that sometimes I feel like we seem to be running forward non-stop, but in the end nothing has changed."

Liu Jing was silent for a long time, and finally spoke softly: "You know, Li Xiangqian, you really confuse me sometimes." Her voice was very light, as if she was thinking about the weight of each word, "You always look forward, but ignore me and the home behind you. Every day I guard this home, guard you, and guard everything we have, trying to give you a warm harbor. But you never seem to stop and take a closer look at what we have now."

Li Xiangqian was stunned. His heart suddenly shook, and a glimmer of light seemed to flash through his mind, but it was quickly suppressed. "I have never ignored you, nor have I ignored this family." He said anxiously, "It's just that sometimes, facing the difficulties in front of me, I don't know how to deal with it, and I don't know if I am still on the right path."

"You're leaving too fast." Liu Jing suddenly said, with a hint of pleading in her eyes, "I know you want to change the status quo and give us a better life, but have you ever thought about the relationship between us besides the difficulties we are facing? Have you ever thought that we might miss the most important things in our rush?" She paused, "Are you always looking ahead and forgetting your original intention? Forgetting why we were so hopeful that day?"

Li Xiangqian's heart suddenly shook, and those long-buried emotions were gently awakened like a dormant volcano. He looked up at Liu Jing, and recalled the past days and dreams in his mind. Yes, Liu Jing was right, he seemed to be too focused on the road ahead, but ignored the unspeakable ties behind him.

"Jing, I..." Li Xiangqian was silent for a moment, then whispered, "I know you are right. Sometimes I do not care about the future and neglect you and our family." He smiled bitterly, "But I really don't know what to do, how to make everything better. I just don't want to go on like this."

Liu Jing did not respond immediately, but just looked at him quietly, with no anger in her eyes, only deep fatigue. She suddenly stood up, walked to the window, turned her back to Li Xiangqian, and whispered: "Sometimes, I really hope you can stop and look at me and us." She paused and continued in a low voice, "But you are always busy moving forward, always thinking about how to change these realities, how to make more money, and how to change the difficulties in life. I understand that you are under pressure and you are tired, and I know that too. But, Li Xiangqian, can we stop and re-examine our current life and our relationship?"