Siheyuan, integrating everything, cultivating the city

There was a faint smell of mold in the air. My father looked around, a look of dissatisfaction on his face, but he didn't say anything. Instead, he slowly sat down at the table. He pointed at the photo album and said in a steady tone: "Were you looking at these just now?"

Li Xiangqian followed his father's gaze and quickly put away the photo album. "Nothing, I was just flipping through it. Dad, why did you suddenly think of coming to see me today?" His tone was a little hurried, trying to change the subject, but the panic in his tone was clearly visible to his father.

"Go forward," his father suddenly raised his head, looked him straight in the eyes, and said with a more stern tone, "What are you hiding from?"

This sentence was like a sharp knife, directly cutting through the thin layer of disguise in Li Xiangqian's heart. He opened his mouth, but found that he didn't know how to answer for a moment. He lowered his head, his eyes flickered a little, "I didn't... I was just a little tired recently, maybe I'm not in a good state."

The father did not look away. After a few seconds of silence, he slowly said, "You can't hide it from me. When you were a child, you were always afraid to look people in the face when you lied. Now, you still have this problem." His tone gradually became low, as if he was approaching a critical point. "Xiang Qian, is there something wrong in this yard?"

Li Xiangqian's heart suddenly tightened. He clenched his fists tightly, and his palms were already full of cold sweat. He knew very well that his father's sharpness and stubbornness were what he had always tried to avoid. In this situation, no matter what he said, he couldn't easily get away with it. But he didn't want to talk about those strange things, fearing that even his remaining rationality would be shaken.

"No." Li Xiangqian finally whispered, with a hint of fatigue in his voice, "It's just some messy little things. I can handle it. Don't worry."

His father did not respond immediately, but just looked at him quietly, his eyes full of complicated emotions. After a while, he sighed and said slowly: "If you don't say it, I won't force you. But, Xiang Qian, there are some things that you can't bear alone. A man can grit his teeth and hold on, but he can't hold on forever, otherwise he will be crushed sooner or later." He raised his hand and pointed at Li Xiang Qian's hair, "Look at yourself, your hair has fallen out!"

Li Xiangqian didn't know how to respond for a moment, and his face was a little hot. He didn't want his father to see his embarrassed look, but he couldn't hide it. He just lowered his head and said nothing.

His father stood up, walked over to him, patted his shoulder, and said in a rare gentle voice: "Xiang Qian, I know you are a person who doesn't want to talk about things in your heart, but this is not your fault. There are many things that you can't avoid, and you will have to face them sooner or later."

Li Xiangqian raised his head and looked into his father's wrinkled but still resolute eyes. A complex emotion suddenly surged in his heart. He wanted to talk, but he didn't know where to start. He was silent for a while, and finally just nodded gently.

His father's eyes swept around the room and finally stopped at the table. He seemed to want to say something, but he didn't. Instead, he slowly walked to the window, opened the curtains and looked at the sky outside. Li Xiangqian's eyes followed involuntarily, and he found that his father's face suddenly became more solemn.

"Why is the light in your room so dim?" The father's voice was low and puzzled. "It's still bright outside, but when I enter your room, why does it feel like it's always cloudy?"

Li Xiangqian was startled, and then his heart tightened. He also noticed this problem, but he couldn't find the answer. He whispered, "Maybe the house has been in disrepair for a long time, and the windows block some light."

The father did not respond, standing by the window, deep in thought. Li Xiangqian looked at his back, and an indescribable feeling rose in his heart. He suddenly felt that his father's arrival was not just because he was worried about him, but to uncover something deeper. However, he had no idea what these things were.

Li Xiangqian stood in front of the window, staring blankly at the gray sky outside, his inner anxiety tightening like a tight rope. His father stood over there, still seemingly pondering something, occasionally glancing into the house, but Li Xiangqian felt that he was becoming more and more like a helpless image in this house, ready to be swallowed up at any time.

"You know it's too dark in the room." My father's voice suddenly came from behind, breaking the silence, "Aren't you going to fix it? This is not normal, move forward."

Li Xiangqian nodded slightly, but there was no response in his heart. He pursed his lips, his eyes still fixed on the window, his mind in a mess. Yes, the room was dark, and his mood was dark, and sometimes he even began to doubt whether he was trapped in an invisible predicament, whether he was already bound by some kind of force. His father was right, the house was old, and it might be time to repair it, but more often, what he wanted to repair was his heart, the increasingly blurred sense of clarity.

His father seemed to have noticed his silence and didn't say anything more. He just walked towards the kitchen silently, as if he was used to such a simple life. Li Xiangqian paused where he was, immersed in his own chaotic thoughts, and was in no mood to respond.

Suddenly, an idea flashed through his mind - buy some cabbage to take home. This idea was very abrupt, but it had an inexplicable attraction, like a guiding line, gently evoking some emotion deep in his heart. He never thought that he would have such an idea at this moment - cabbage? Why cabbage?

But he himself did not pay attention to these questions, as if some hidden power in his heart pushed him to do this. Cabbage, perhaps, represents some kind of comfort, like those simple, ordinary things, which can temporarily make him forget the troubles and anxieties in front of him. Perhaps, buying some cabbage and cooking some simple meals can make him find a trace of peace in this muddled life.

"Dad, I'm going out for a while." Li Xiangqian suddenly spoke, breaking the silence.

The father did not look back, but just replied calmly: "Go, be careful."

Li Xiangqian's heart suddenly relaxed, as if being pulled by an invisible thread. He turned and walked out of the house, feeling the humidity in the air hitting him again. The sky outside was still gloomy, and the gray sky was like an invisible net, covering the entire city. The streets were busy with cars and people hurriedly walked by, but Li Xiangqian felt as if everything had nothing to do with him, as if this city no longer belonged to him. His footsteps seemed a little heavy, and every step seemed to be restrained by some invisible force, unable to move freely.