Lima syndrome

Looking at Xu Shiyuan's slightly nervous face, Bai Zhiyan smiled with relief.

"Let's go to the Han River. I've been waiting for this moment for a long time."

Just as Xu Shiyuan said, Hanying was only twenty minutes away from the Han River, and the two arrived at the Han River before it was completely dark.

As the weather got cooler at night, the two bought hot lattes at a nearby coffee shop and walked along the river.

The breeze was blowing gently, and the river water was gleaming faintly in the moonlight. Bai Zhiyan and Xu Shiyuan walked side by side, neither of them spoke, enjoying the tranquility.

It turned out that this was the place where his mother had been. Whenever Bai Zhiyan thought of his mother, his heart would be filled with tenderness.

"I didn't expect the scenery here to be so beautiful. If my mother could come here with me, she would definitely be very happy."

Xu Shiyuan knew his previous situation, but he was still moved by his slightly joyful tone at this moment.

"As long as you are happy, I believe that Auntie will feel relieved when she sees it."

"Yeah, I guess."

The two walked for a while in silence.

"Zhiyan——" Xu Shiyuan finally spoke again to break the silence, "We..."

Bai Zhiyan turned his head and looked into Xu Shiyuan's eyes, "We what?"

The two stood quietly by the river, letting their thoughts drift. In the distance, the lights of the city were brilliant, but here, there were only the two of them and the rolling river.

Looking at Bai Zhiyan's sincere, frank and calm eyes, Xu Shiyuan suppressed the words that he had already prepared to say, and in the end just made up a lie.

"Nothing, let's go sit by the river."

The two sat down by the river. The night wind was a little chilly. Bai Zhiyan tightened his clothes and clenched the coffee cup in both hands, trying to draw some warmth from it.

Xu Shiyuan tilted his head slightly to look at Bai Zhiyan's soft profile under the warm yellow light. How could such a harmless and innocent face easily destroy a person's will during a conversation?

Xu Shiyuan took a deep breath and secretly laughed at his own timidity and suspicion. He turned his head to look at the river, but his heart could not calm down for a long time.

"Zhiyan, do you have anything to say?"

Upon hearing this, Bai Zhiyan looked at him, with a hint of doubt in his eyes.

Xu Shiyuan smiled and pointed at the moon. "I just think that the moonlight today is really beautiful." He paused and then said, "Don't you think so?"

Bai Zhiyan raised his head and looked up at the night sky. The moon was hanging high in the sky, casting its silver light and illuminating the entire river surface.

"It's really beautiful." Bai Zhiyan didn't understand and responded to him politely in a low voice.

The two of them sat quietly, admiring the beautiful night view, and no one spoke again. However, in this quiet atmosphere, an indescribable emotion flowed between them.

While he was speechless, the wind blew and Bai Zhiyan felt a slight chill on his face. He looked up at the sky and saw snowflakes falling, gently floating to the ground and blending into the river surface, disappearing.

"It's snowing. It's the first snow of the year."

There was a hint of joy in Xu Shiyuan's tone. He turned to look at Bai Zhiyan. Bai Zhiyan also had a smile in his eyes and was reaching out to catch the snowflakes as light as catkins.

“I didn’t expect to see snow on my first visit to the Han River.”

The snow fell very late this year, and Xu Shiyuan did not expect such an opportunity before going out. He stood up and stood in front of Bai Zhiyan. The moonlight poured down and sprinkled on his back. The shadow cast by his body covered Bai Zhiyan.

Xu Shiyuan bent down slightly. Bai Zhiyan looked back at him, not knowing why. "What's wrong, Shiyuan?"

"Zhiyan, this is the first snow we have seen together."

He got closer and closer, Bai Zhiyan could almost feel the warm breath coming from his breathing. So he had to lean back, slightly distance himself, and thank him politely but distantly.

"Thank you for bringing me here."

This was not what Xu Shiyuan wanted to hear. Instead of retreating, he advanced, forcing Bai Zhiyan into a position where he had no escape.

"Ji Yan, have you heard? When the first snow falls, all lies can be forgiven."

So I won't look back on the past, I won't dwell on all the lies you told me. Even the ulterior motives of our first encounter and the insincere interactions that followed, I can bury them all in this first snow.

Only you, I only want you.

I want there to be no one else in your eyes. I want me to be the most important person in your life. I want you to be the last mistletoe in this desolate world. Even if you suck all my blood dry, I would rather not see you being embraced by others.

Shrouded in shadow, Bai Zhiyan couldn't see his face clearly, but his cold tone as always was as cold as the snow and the river.

It turns out he knew everything.

Perhaps Xu Shiyuan knew from the beginning that he was approaching with bad intentions, knew that he would always say half-truths to fool him when they were together, and knew all the lies he made up were full of loopholes, but Xu Shiyuan never exposed them. He hid everything and chose to pretend to believe all his lies.

For so long, all of Bai Zhiyan's plans have been contrary to his original idea. How can he deceive and play with Xu Shiyuan's sincerity? How can he play with the sincerity of someone who knows all his bad intentions?

Their meeting was due to his deliberate approach, and their getting along was also calculated by him. Putting aside all relationships, there were only conspiracies and lies between him and Xu Shiyuan.

The only connection between them is a false bond.

Bai Zhiyan was filled with mixed emotions. He gave up trying to escape, stared at Xu Shiyuan, and slowly answered him, "I haven't heard of it, but I know it now."

The two looked into each other's eyes, and the waves in their hearts were no less than the waves in the river. Snowflakes kept falling on them, and under the light of the yellow lamp, even the cold snow was reflected in a gentle manner.

Bai Zhiyan's eyes flickered, and he seemed to be thinking about something. Suddenly, he smiled, with a hint of teasing in his tone: "Then this first snow really comes at the right time."

Xu Shiyuan was stunned for a moment, then he started laughing. He stretched out his fingers to catch a snowflake and watched it melt on his fingertips.

"Yes, just like our meeting." Xu Shiyuan said softly.

Bai Zhiyan nodded slightly, and their eyes met again, as if there was a special tacit understanding flowing between them.

A first encounter full of hypocrisy is about to die in this fleeting first snow.

When Xu Shiyuan spoke again, his smile had disappeared, "But from now on, our future will be better than before, right?"

Bai Zhiyan said nothing and looked at him calmly.

He saw Xu Shiyuan's clear black and white eyes. When he stared at him, Bai Zhiyan found that his reflection was a little strange and distorted.

Xu Shiyuan's eyes were always deep and muddy, like a pool of muddy water that had been stirred, making it hard to understand. There was a kind of crazy paranoia in them, as if he was looking at his most hated enemy. However, whenever he heard the other party speak, his eyes, which were originally as dark as thick ink, would reveal a slow and deep affection.

He hesitated for a moment because of this strange look. Deep in this man's paranoid and dark heart, is there still a fire that can set the whole field on fire? Does that fire represent his obsession and desire for something?

Finally, he lowered his head, slowly stretched out his fingers, and tried to catch a falling snowflake.

The snowflakes fell lightly on the palm of his hand and quickly melted into a small drop of water, bringing a hint of coolness that penetrated into his skin along the palm of his hand.

Bai Zhiyan understood what he meant. He wanted to forget the past and start over, but this was impossible from the beginning. Even if he started over again in this life thousands of times, he could not undo the fact that he died tragically in his previous life.

When he looked up again, Bai Zhiyan did not look at Xu Shiyuan, but looked past him at the night sky with a lonely moon hanging high behind him.

"Look, there's a shooting star."

Xu Shiyuan looked at him deeply and stopped talking, but when he turned around, he saw nothing except the full moon.

"where?"

"It's too late to look back. It's all over."

Bai Zhiyan's voice was colder than the river water. Xu Shiyuan's body trembled and his heart was falling madly. He suddenly turned around and looked at him. The complex emotions in his eyes made Bai Zhiyan confused.

Surprise? Panic? Or anger?

"It's not too late, Zhiyan. We still have a chance to watch it together again."

His voice was trembling, and it was unclear whether it was because the cold wind that came through the river pierced his bones or because his disturbed mind affected his mouth that could confuse right and wrong.

"The Han River will not disappear, and the meteors will appear again, right?"

Bai Zhiyan smiled and shook his head. Everything in the world changes, the Han River will always exist, and the meteors will reappear, but he can leave.

"They say you can make a wish when you see a shooting star. Just now, when I saw the shooting star, I made a wish. I am not a greedy person, and I don't want anything else, so I don't need a shooting star anymore."

Do you not need meteors or do you not need me?

Xu Shiyuan tried hard to suppress the pain in his heart. He hadn't experienced this feeling for a long time. He didn't even know why Bai Zhiyan approached him on purpose. Was it so fun to let him fall in love with her and then abandon him like a worn-out shoe?

Or did he learn the reason behind the previous incident from Jin Nanxian and feel dissatisfied with himself for framing Che Jingcan? Or did Bai Jitai tell him that he was only associating with him to cling to the power of the Bai family?

But what does all this matter!

He would not question his purpose of approaching him, nor would he question why he lied to him and said that Bai Jitai treated him well, and he would not cling to him like an annoying dog!

Even so, he still refused to treat himself sincerely.

Sincerity? He was even curious about who Bai Zhiyan was truly devoted to.

He suddenly felt some pain in his heart, and perhaps doing something would ease his pain.

So he reached out his hand, slowly raised the completely cooled coffee cup in front of him, and took a sip. The unique sweet aroma of latte filled his mouth, but he felt an indescribable sour taste in his heart. Perhaps this was the bitterest coffee he had ever tasted, so bitter that he wanted to cry.

But he could only keep his eyes open, tears kept piling up in his eyes, and even showed signs of drying up. He couldn't help but start to doubt his mental state. Was there something wrong? Otherwise, why would he be so heartbroken?

Bai Zhiyan raised his eyes and saw that Xu Shiyuan's lips and teeth trembled slightly as if he was chilled. Then he smiled just to express his expression, and finally answered him mechanically.

"I understand."

Xu Shiyuan had clearly just drunk coffee, but his voice sounded extremely bitter.

"Zhiyan, I wish your wish will come true."

The 19-year-old Xu Shiyuan was thin and dressed in thin clothes. His oversized cotton coat was supported by his tall and tough back. He was facing Bai Zhiyan against the light. Bai Zhiyan saw his red eyes and the smile on his lips in the dim light, and his heart skipped a beat.

Many years later, Bai Zhiyan still remembered this smile. Xu Shiyuan, whose self-esteem refused to be touched in the slightest, had tears in his eyes under the dim and soft street lights, in the flying snow, and by the rushing Han River. But he smiled after drinking the coffee.

Bai Zhiyan had heard that there is no greater sorrow than a dead heart, and he didn't know if he would also make such an expression, which was uglier than crying, when he had lost all hope. But in the future, when he talked about his painful past with others, Xu Shiyuan's smiling face that was about to cry would always appear in his mind.

"Thank you, Shi Yuan, for your good words."

Not only Ji Yan, since Bai Zhiyan was reborn, there is only one goal he wants to achieve.

The great revenge is achieved and the sun comes out after the clouds clear.

He couldn't understand why Xu Shiyuan felt pain, what right did he have to feel pain! Every time he tried to get close to him, it felt like a sharp blade was stabbing him hard in his heart. Even so, he had been enduring endless pain and getting along with Xu Shiyuan for such a long time.

He had to be vigilant at all times and never do anything that violated his own personality. In order to make Xu Shiyuan fall in love with him, he made up countless lies. He knew that his actions had been breaking Xu Shiyuan's inner rules, but Xu Shiyuan never mentioned them.

It was not until this moment that Bai Zhiyan truly saw the true heart hidden behind Xu Shiyuan's usually cold face. It turned out that there was a surging heart hidden there.

So what was there for Xu Shiyuan to feel aggrieved about? They deceived and suspected each other. The only difference was that Bai Zhiyan did not invest his true feelings into it.

The snow gradually became heavier. Bai Zhiyan and Xu Shiyuan stood quietly in the snow, letting the heavy snow fall. Their figures looked lonely and resolute in the snow.

"Go back, it's getting late."

Bai Zhiyan broke the silence, stood up and patted the snow off his body. His voice was as calm as water, without any emotion fluctuations.

“Otherwise the road will be difficult to walk on.”

"it is good."

Xu Shiyuan threw away the coffee cup in his hand and followed him silently. He was wondering if Bai Zhiyan needed him to accompany him on this difficult road?

As the night grew deeper, the snow continued to fall, melting into the soil and wetting the dirt road along the river. There was only spots and mud underfoot.

Their figures gradually disappeared in the snow, leaving only the silent river surface and the flying snow in the sky.