Lima syndrome

Why is he here?

A trace of bitterness appeared on Xu Shiyuan's face. Because of Bai Jitai's order, the debt collectors smashed everything in his house, and his mother was fired from the job she had found with great difficulty. Even the barbecue restaurant where he had worked for a long time no longer wanted him. The only scholarship he had a chance to get was now gone.

Why is he here? To live, of course.

It took him a long time to find a job that was willing to employ him. He came here to work as a waiter at night and saw all kinds of people every day, but he didn't expect to see Bai Zhiyan here today.

"Can't you see what I'm doing here?"

Bai Zhiyan's hands were still on his chest. He lowered his head slightly and noticed the work clothes he was wearing.

"What about you, Zhiyan? Why are you here? What's your relationship with that girl? Are you here to see her?"

It was the familiar aggressive tone again. Bai Zhiyan felt suffocated by his questioning. "What I do has nothing to do with you. Sister Yilin and I are just acquaintances. You can suspect me of being immoral, but don't involve other people."

"That's not what I meant..." Xu Shiyuan was afraid that he would be angry, so he moved closer to him and his tone was no longer cold and harsh.

“Ji Yan, I’m just too worried about you to see you in a place like this. This is not a place you should come to.”

"No one in this world stipulates that there are certain places that some people cannot go."

Seeing his face getting closer and closer, Bai Zhiyan retracted his gaze, lowered his eyes slightly and said in a bad tone, "I still haven't forgotten what happened last time. What do you want by pressing me like this now? Are you going to continue to force me like last time in a place like this?"

The last time, because of Xu Shiyuan's actions, the two of them had a complete falling out, and Bai Zhiyan no longer had to pretend to be nice to him.

"I don't think so."

His words were really embarrassing. Xu Shiyuan frowned slightly and stepped back a little.

"You better not think so."

Bai Zhiyan put down his hands to tidy up his wrinkled clothes and looked at the surrounding environment. He had to escape later and it would be bad if he was seen by Bai Jitai's sick lover if he stayed away for too long.

"Zhi Yan, what happened last time was just a moment of infatuation on my part. I didn't mean to hurt you." Xu Shi Yuan quickly stepped in front of him.

"You actually have the nerve to mention it."

"I'm really sorry Zhiyan, you can even hit me or scold me, but can you please not be so cold to me."

"Don't touch me." Bai Zhiyan stopped and looked defensive. "We have nothing to say. Get out of my sight now while I can still talk to you calmly."

"I was wrong, Zhiyan, I really know I was wrong, I shouldn't have treated you like that, please forgive me."

Xu Shiyuan wanted to hold his hand, but after meeting his cold and disgusted eyes, he dared not move. He still stubbornly stood in front of him and refused to give in.

Bai Zhiyan then noticed that there seemed to be some new wounds on his face. He knew without thinking who did it. Bai Zhiyan was quite satisfied with Bai Jitai's ability to act.

"Stop pestering me, Xu Shiyuan. Don't you think things are bad enough between us right now? Do you have to make things irreversible before you give up?"

"Irreparable?" Xu Shiyuan's heart was stabbed. He ignored Bai Zhiyan's disgust and grabbed his wrist.

"How can it be irreparable? We had such a good relationship before, Zhiyan, I know you are angry, so you can hit me and scold me however you want, as long as you are not angry with me."

"Let me go!" Bai Zhiyan shouted angrily and shook off Xu Shiyuan's hand.

"I was wrong. I really know I was wrong." Xu Shiyuan grabbed his arm again and begged in a low voice: "Zhi Yan, please give me a chance to make up for my mistakes."

Bai Zhiyan gritted his teeth and slapped him in the face when he couldn't bear it anymore.

"Xu Shiyuan, do you have to make things so embarrassing? I can't pretend that nothing happened and forgive you. If you still care about your dignity and face, get out of here and stop holding on to me!"

Xu Shiyuan covered his face that was slapped but smiled slightly, "Zhiyan, this is the first time you hit me, do you feel relieved?"

There was still blood on the corner of his mouth, and he smiled and approached Bai Zhiyan, "Besides my face, I also have my body for you to vent your anger on. Will your hands hurt? Will it be too strenuous?"

Looking at his paranoid face, Bai Zhiyan really thought he was crazy. Before he could say anything, Xu Shiyuan picked up an empty wine bottle from the side and handed it to him.

"Can you use this? It won't hurt your hand, or break it and scratch me with the glass. Zhiyan, what do you do to make you feel better?"

Bai Zhiyan saw the bottle of wine in his hand and his lips trembling as if he had a thousand words to say but couldn't utter a single word. He couldn't imagine what kind of heart of stone or iron wall he needed to be able to defeat this group of desperate lunatics.

When he snatched the bottle from his hand, Xu Shiyuan smiled, bent down slightly and lowered his head to make a crouching posture.

"Enough, I've had enough, Xu Shiyuan, can you please stop bothering me?"

Xu Shiyuan suddenly looked up and saw Bai Zhiyan's bored and hateful eyes, and he felt panic.

He leaned down and knelt on one knee, holding onto Bai Zhiyan's clothes tightly. "I beg you, Zhiyan, don't be so cold and heartless to me. I really know I was wrong."

In the past, Bai Zhiyan always smiled when facing him and never spoke loudly. He could not accept being treated worse than a stranger.

Bai Zhiyan tried to take back his clothes but failed. He looked down at Xu Shiyuan, whose eyes were red, and felt annoyed. "I don't understand you, Xu Shiyuan. I really don't understand you. What do you want to do? What do you want?"

"I want..." Xu Shiyuan's voice was trembling, "I want to go back to the beginning, when we would have lunch together on the rooftop, you would smile and tell me that you liked the food I cooked, bring me fruit and milk, invite me to your house, and we would read and study in your room. We even watched the first snow and the Han River this year together. Didn't you say before that you wanted to go to the Han River with me again? I just want to go back to the time when we were always together."

Even though he knew that these were all fake, and he knew that Bai Zhiyan had not given much sincerity to this, he still wanted to go back to that time built up of lies and falsehoods.

Bai Zhiyan was stunned. He didn't expect Xu Shiyuan to say this. However, those false but beautiful memories had already been torn to pieces by reality and could never be pieced back together.

Seeing Bai Zhiyan's silence, Xu Shiyuan thought that his request had hope, and said more eagerly, "Zhiyan, we can start over, everything can go back to the way it was before..."

"We can't go back to the past, Xu Shiyuan. Do you think I can still be friends with you as if nothing happened after what happened last time? Can I still have a meal and chat with you like before?"

Bai Zhiyan took a deep breath and closed his eyes, not wanting to look at him. "Wake up, it's all over. You messed up everything."

"I don't know if it will end. I will never do anything to you that you don't like again. Believe me, I can't live without you. I really can't lose you..."

Xu Shiyuan simply wrapped his arms around Bai Zhiyan's waist tightly, even resting his chin on his abdomen.

"You obviously know what I think of you. Let's start over. I don't want to be your friend, nor do I want to be a good friend. You know, you know what I want."

"I don't know! Xu Shiyuan, I tell you I know nothing! I said there is no future for us. I haven't done anything to you yet, which is already a mercy on my part. Don't force me!"

"I do not want!"

He hugged Bai Zhiyan too tightly and he couldn't break free. He looked at the wine bottle in his hand, hesitated for a moment, and then smashed it on Xu Shiyuan's head with shaking hands. However, unlike in the melodramatic dramas, the wine bottle did not break, but blood flowed from Xu Shiyuan's forehead.

The sudden and violent blow from the hammer gave Xu Shiyuan a brain concussion, but he still did not let go. He raised his bloody face and forced a smile, "Zhiyan, you only hit me once, have you calmed down a bit?"

Bai Zhiyan didn't expect that he would still not let go. He was so angry that his body was shaking. "Xu Shiyuan, do you want to die? Let me go!"

"Yeah, maybe I really don't want to live anymore..."

His face was covered in blood and scars, and he looked extremely miserable, but Bai Zhiyan still saw the tears about to fall from the corners of his eyes.

"After you pushed me away and I went back to the Bai family, I came home to find the house in a mess. Even my last scholarship that could sustain my life was taken away along with your first place. I had nothing left, but you also left me. I didn't want to live at that time."

"I, I have so little in my life, Zhiyan, you are the only thing I want. I lost everything and paid a heavy price for wanting you, but now - you say that I messed up everything."

Bai Zhiyan frowned and saw the tear in his eyes finally fall, quickly disappearing in the blood on his cheek.

"Until yesterday, I was thinking about dying, but after seeing you here today, I don't want to die anymore, you know? This time without you has been like hell for me."

"I know that I won't be constrained if I push away the things I like, but I can't do it."

His voice was a little choked, and under his messy hair were a pair of painful and sad eyes, "Zhiyan, I can't do it. Tell me how to let go. Teach me how to let go. To what extent will you forgive me."

"Xu Shiyuan." Bai Zhiyan whispered his name, with a smile on his face that was uglier than crying. "The only thing I have learned in all this time is not to easily forgive anyone who tries to hurt you."

"So, I will never forgive you."

His voice was very soft, but in Xu Shiyuan's ears it was like a gate knife hanging over the head of a condemned man. After he said the last sentence, the gate knife fell, separating his head and body and splashing blood three feet away.

"No... I can make amends. Give me a chance and I will restore everything to its original state!"

"Keep some dignity for yourself, Xu Shiyuan."

After the words fell, there was a sudden silence between the two of them. The noisy sounds around them were deafening. Bai Zhiyan still wanted to try to break free from Xu Shiyuan's restraints, but the other party still had no intention of letting go.

"What a bullshit dignity..."

Xu Shiyuan murmured something quickly and quietly. Before Bai Zhiyan could hear what he was saying, he suddenly looked up and stared at Bai Zhiyan.

"Fuck your dignity! Bai Zhiyan, what dignity do I have in front of you? It was you who provoked me first, how can you just leave like that? How dare you?"

Bai Zhiyan closed his eyes and didn't want to look at him, because Xu Shiyuan was right, the only reason they had any intersection was because he took the initiative to intervene in Xu Shiyuan's life. It was he who broke his original daily routine as an intruder, and now he even watched him kneel down and beg for forgiveness.

Bai Zhiyan was speechless about this. It was his problem.

"So, Xu Shiyuan, what do you want me to do? Do you want me to apologize to you and ask for your forgiveness?"

"Zhiyan, I never blame you. I am very happy during the time I am with you. Even if I give myself ten thousand reasons why I can't have a close relationship with you, a simple sentence from you can make all my defenses fall apart."

He raised his head, and the two tear marks on his face were a mess of blood. His originally handsome and pale face had become distorted and terrifying.

"I forgive you for disrupting my peaceful life with your aggressive approach, so...can you forgive me too?"

Bai Zhiyan's body trembled slightly, and the wine bottle in his hand slipped and fell to the ground, breaking into pieces with a crisp sound. Xu Shiyuan still hugged him tightly, as if he didn't feel the pain of the wound on his head.

"You are such a lunatic!" Bai Zhiyan yelled, grabbing a piece of broken wine bottle and pressing it against his neck, his voice tinged with tears, "What do you want in exchange for letting me go!"

Xu Shiyuan raised his head and grabbed his hand on his neck, his eyes crazy and persistent, "I am indeed crazy, I only want you, Zhiyan, I can't live without you..."

He began to exert force with his hands, and the fragments in Bai Zhiyan's hands had pierced his skin. Blood flowed down his neck and dyed his collar red.

Bai Zhiyan always thought they were crazy before, but now he thinks he is wrong, this world is not normal, and it is this world that is crazy.

Otherwise how can we explain why the people around him threatened to commit suicide one after another to force him to give the answers they wanted?

"Okay, since you want to die, I'll grant your wish."

A hint of determination flashed across Bai Zhiyan's eyes, and the hand holding the fragments began to exert force. If one could ignore his shaking body, this must be a perfect and gorgeous murder scene.

As the strength in his hands increased, Xu Shiyuan's white shirt was stained red in large areas. His face turned pale, and his arms that were tightly holding Bai Zhiyan gradually relaxed.

"Cough-cough-"

Finally, it was Xu Shiyuan's cough that awakened Bai Zhiyan, who seemed to be possessed. His eyes suddenly became clear and a look of fear appeared on his face.

He almost killed someone just now!