【Historical Live Broadcast】Watching videos and being seen by our ancestors

The mountain has trees, and the trees have no branches; I love you, but you do not know.

You arrived on the winter solstice, but the wind had ceased blowing across your brow.

Youth is always accompanied by regrets, like a faded book containing the dark and unfathomable thoughts of countless young girls.

You are like the clear moon in the sky, hanging high, unaware of the turbulent waves that surge below as people gaze at it.

People say you should boldly pursue someone you like, but how many people actually do it?

My first impression of you wasn't very strong.

[I just thought you were a good student who was smart, pretty, and aloof.]

Your life is destined to be completely different from my mundane campus life.

I didn't think we'd have much interaction.

[Until you became my deskmate, we gradually started to get to know each other.]

I've discovered that beyond your beautiful appearance, you are also a gentle and kind person.

You often show care for animals on the street, and you even spend money to send an injured stray cat to a rescue center on campus.

You get along well with both boys and girls and are very popular; many boys like you.

I was so jealous of you back then. Why did God make you so outstanding? It's like He gave you all the best qualities.

You are as perfect as the heroine in a novel, while I hide in the shadows in a corner, like the cannon fodder in a novel who is jealous of the protagonist.

However, even someone as outstanding as you can't resist the lewdness of a man who sleeps with you.

Their casual fabrications can leave you pale and speechless, unsure how to refute them.

I don't know what I was thinking at the time, I took a sanitary napkin out of my bag, unwrapped it, and stuck it on the face of the boy who was spewing feces at me.

[She deliberately shouted and cursed him, calling him a piece of trash who was born of a mother but raised without one, who was obsessed with women, that his father was a ladybug and his mother was a slut, and that he was so filthy that he saw everything as dirty.]

[When I fought with them, I deliberately scratched their faces hard and kicked them in the groin with all my might. When they beat me black and blue, I saw you cry.]

I don't know if you were scared by the scene of my first time swearing.

But I can't care about all that. All I know is that you were bullied. The perfect heroine in my heart, whom I envied, was bullied by some trash.

This was something I couldn't tolerate at the time.

Later, I was suspended from school for a week. When I saw you again, you felt very guilty towards me, and our relationship gradually improved.

I look at your beautiful and serene face, rely on your guilty attempts to please me, crave the look in your eyes when they fall on me, enjoy the special treatment you give me compared to others, and laugh at your childish love for pink.

I started looking forward to your text messages every day. During PE class, I would deliberately hold your hand while running. During breaks, I would always turn my face towards you when I took a nap, so that I could open my eyes and see how you wanted to poke me awake.

My gaze lingered on you more and more until I couldn't look away anymore.

You're so wonderful, it's perfectly normal for me to like you.

But the moon is still the moon; even when it bows its head, the distance between it and the people on earth remains so vast.

Unrequited love is a chaotic battle fought alone.

Your kindness to me feels like there's a thin film called friendship between us, leaving me tossing and turning at night.

I tentatively asked you what kind of guy you like, and you said you like handsome, sunny, cheerful, and energetic young men.

Your joking reply didn't make me laugh at all.

I know I have no chance.

But I'm not willing to give up at all. I tested our zodiac compatibility and even consulted so-called bloggers on Douyin to see if there was any chance you'd like me.

How I wish you could turn around and look at me, even just a little bit.

You are a beautiful rainbow, fleeting and ephemeral. I want to preserve this beautiful scenery, but I can't bear to see you suffer the same embarrassment as when you were framed with false rumors.

I don't want this clear moon to be stained with dust, nor can I bear the predicament of having the person I love by my side but being unable to express my feelings.

I've decided to leave the moon, to break free from the shackles of gender, and to return to where I truly belong.

You're wondering why your former friends are becoming increasingly distant.

Actually, it was a moth, so different from you, that strayed into your world. It felt uncomfortable and miserable in this world that didn't belong to it, so it couldn't wait to escape.

I originally thought I was a villainous cannon fodder character in your novel, jealous of you. Little did I know I was just a minor character secretly in love with you. Having shared a glimpse of moonlight with you is enough for me to cherish for a long time.

"The gap between us is too big. She went abroad. She is a beautiful butterfly in other people's eyes."

I'm not good at studying, and I'm good for nothing except basketball and drawing. I don't know if she likes me, but we both cried at the airport that day.

When I was 17, she said she would definitely come back to find me, and I believed her. But they'll find someone better, and I'm not good enough for her.

"In the year of my purest love, I fell for my deskmate (the class monitor). He didn't like others putting clips on his hands, but when I did, he would bend down and let me do whatever I wanted."

"You never knew that I had really fallen for you. I didn't realize when our friendship turned sour, but your actions made me think that I might be the special one."

When I realized that I treated you differently, I knew there was no going back.

I'm ignoring you because I don't understand myself, I don't understand why I get angry when you talk to other girls, but it's okay, I'll keep this secret in my heart forever, hoping to accompany you in this way for the rest of my life [crying]

"I hate that you're being ambiguous with me, but I'm also afraid that you'll ignore me. I've already run away from you, but you keep coming back. You pretend not to understand, but do you really not understand?"

After we finally confessed, your passive-aggressive behavior really hurt me. I'm not usually one to suffer internally, but this has been troubling me for a whole year.

"I'm willing to be a supporting character in your life, appearing when you need me and hiding when you don't."

I will do many things for you, but I will never ask for anything in return, because seeing you happy is my greatest satisfaction.

I'm like a paving stone, ordinary though I may be, but I can make your journey smoother. If I were worthy, I would tell you... how important our friendship is! [snip][snip][snip]

"I've found that I can comfort anyone around me, but I can't comfort myself."

"We're just ordinary friends—you'll praise me for being good, pinch my neck, we'll have a flirtatious relationship, and we'll hold hands [crying]"

"I hide my feelings for you out of the corner of my eye. Every time I find an excuse to talk to you, I blush and avoid your gaze when you look at me."

Watching you laugh and chat with others makes me really sad, like a layer of dust has settled in my heart. It turns out that the greatest distance between us is that we stand face to face, but I can't tell you how I like you...

Gender is an insurmountable barrier between us; it's my greatest strength, and also my greatest weakness... I don't ask for anything else, I just hope you can be happy..."

"Gender is a chasm I can never cross, but it is also the most beautiful path I take to get closer to you."

Wang Gongzi, who watched helplessly as the person he liked fell in love with someone else: She and I were childhood sweethearts in a play. When we were young and ignorant, we didn't know anything. We vaguely sensed that she treated us differently, but we just laughed it off as a joke.

I told her I didn't like her type of woman. What woman is as carefree and tomboyish as her? If I married her, she would bully me like a shrew every day.

Now that I see her like someone else, I realize how I feel about her. I don't dare tell her, afraid that we won't even be able to be friends anymore. I so wish she could continue to like me.

She wasn't fierce at all. When my family scolded me for being bad at studying and having no future, she was always there for me, comforting me and buying me food.

When I was giving up on myself, she said that even if I couldn't do anything, she wouldn't despise me. Even if I couldn't do anything well, she would take me home and raise me like she did when my parents argued when I was a child.

She said she would support me for the rest of my life.

She said, "Even if the whole world dislikes you, I will always stay with you."

She said, "Wang Zixuan, will we be together like in the movies?"

She said so many things to me, but I can't remember many of them clearly.

Until September of this year, she said, "Wang Zixuan, I think I've fallen for one of my father's students, surnamed Hu. I'm getting married early next spring. You need to take good care of yourself from now on and not worry anyone."

But if I leave you, who will worry about me? ╥﹏╥

……

A young woman dressed in white said: I like the young general in our capital who has become famous at a young age.

He looked so majestic and handsome riding his tall horse back victorious from battle. He probably didn't know how many women blushed for him that day, including me.

I was chatting with my sisters in the attic when I caught a glimpse of him, and my heart pounded like crazy. I was so embarrassed that I quickly looked away and didn't dare to look at him again.

Later, he took up a post in the capital. Because of our family ties, we were quite close and often passed by the place where he was working.

He always managed to spot me once or twice. Later, I got smarter and bought a face fan. Every time I passed by him, I would secretly glance at him when he wasn't looking. As soon as he turned his head, I would immediately cover my face with the face fan.

He's really handsome. When he chats with people, his eyes are always smiling. He seems to get along well with everyone. He often lets out a hearty laugh like a young boy. He's a completely different person from me.

I kept that to myself and loved him silently for many years until I got married.

I imagine that on a clear, sunny day, the moment he turned his head, I would put down my fan and confess my love to him. Would that always-smiling little general also fall in love with me?

Unfortunately, there are no "what ifs"...

The greatest pain in youth is the unspoken affection, like a spring that vanishes at the end, bringing fleeting beauty but leaving nothing behind.

……

Yi Niang, I like you.

That day, my mother had just left, leaving me all alone.

I hated you to death when you married into my family and became my stepmother.

I hate that you took my mother's place so quickly, and that you seduced my father so quickly, making him fall in love with you.

But I was wrong.

You're a widow, and everyone in the village curses you for being unchaste, for bringing death to your husband, and for remarrying a lewd man. Even my father only wanted to marry you cheaply, so he hurriedly went to the matchmaker to propose marriage.

Your wedding night wasn't pleasant. Your father was eating out that day, and you were sitting peacefully inside waiting for someone to lift your veil when I rushed up and splashed you with tea.

Everyone says that since you're my stepmother, you'll treat me badly after marrying into my family, and that you'll make sure I'm never fed or warm enough, and that you'll treat me like an animal.

But you didn't. You didn't bully me, and you didn't hold a grudge against me for spilling the tea on you.

You are a woman even gentler than my mother. My family is too lazy to buy new clothes for me and my daughters, saying that girls are going to get married and it's not worth spending so much money on me.

But you didn't think so. Your family wouldn't allow it, so you secretly used your own savings to buy me clothes. When your clothes had holes, you would jump out of the light and take a needle to embroider them for me.

You have such skillful hands; the embroidered designs are all so beautiful. When I wore them out to show my friends, they all thought they were brand new clothes from a clothing store.

Your father, who is so good to you, is not good to you. Ever since your mother passed away, he always goes out drinking. As soon as he finishes drinking, he pulls you into bed. No matter how much you scream, he still won't stop.

You lived like this for half a year. Your family saw that you weren't pregnant and called you a barren hen. Even your father would sometimes scold you: "I should have married a sow instead of you. She could have given me piglets."

One night, after he had been drinking, you complained to him a few times, and he slapped you and fell fast asleep.

Since you married into this family alone and have no one to rely on, he has become even more demanding.

Later, he seemed to have become a different person. Whenever he finished drinking, he would come back and beat people. He would kick my mother and me when he saw us.

I stepped in front to protect you, and you crouched down to support yourself so you could protect me in return.

Until that day when he started hitting people again. You went out to buy groceries and came back late. I was beaten up all over. When I came back and saw what he had done to me, I grabbed a carrying pole and hit him, knocking him unconscious.

As a tiny child covered in blood, I looked at you, who was holding me and crying, and thought to myself: Luckily you went to buy groceries, luckily you didn't get beaten when you came back, otherwise, with your tendency to swallow your anger and not fight back, you might have been beaten to death.

You said that when you married him, you had already accepted your fate. No matter how well the man treated you, you wanted to continue living this life. Even if it meant death, you didn't want to be called a jinx anymore.

But you saw me.

You are a kind-hearted person and can't bear to see me suffer.

You helped me pack a few belongings and we fled this dilapidated home.

Actually, for me, there's nothing of value in this house; the most valuable thing is you.

I lived with you, and you raised me step by step, just like a mother and daughter. Although life was hard, you always looked at me with a smile.

But, Yi Niang, my feelings for you are not ordinary.

I love you. I love your gentleness, I love your smile, and I love your calloused hands that knit clothes for me.

When that man was about to beat me to death, you saved me like a hero and led me away from that hellish home. That's when I couldn't help but fall in love with you.

From now on, I don't like men, I don't like women, I only like you.

Yi Niang, you asked me what kind of man I would like when I grow up, and how much dowry you would prepare for me.

My answer is: I don't want to get married anymore. I just want to stay with you, day and night, through thick and thin.