Emotionally stable, but continuing to go crazy

Li Jinhe's ears were constantly echoing with Wei Zhe'an's disorganized voices. These voices were illogical and extremely jumpy, but every word and every sentence was about him.

He closed his eyes and wondered how he could have deserved to make this young boy so concerned.

For a moment, his thoughts drifted back to his childhood memories, and he was slightly distracted. Wei Zhe'an's voice was still lingering in his ears, mixed with the subtle sound of him adjusting his posture, and Li Jinhe refocused his attention and came back to his senses.

His heart was in his throat, worried that Wei Zhe'an would leave because he couldn't stand the silence.

He unconsciously tightened his hands, thinking that if Wei Zhe'an really left, would their relationship be limited to colleagues. Maybe it was better this way, keeping a distance might allow Wei Zhe'an to examine his heart more clearly and no longer suffer from this matter.

He knew very well that keeping a distance from Wei Zhe'an was the best way to deal with the situation now, but facing Wei Zhe'an's sadness at the moment, even as just a colleague, he could not ignore it.

Wei Zhe'an is still young and a public figure; we can't just let him leave alone.

Adults always have to take some dignity into consideration. Although feelings are important, work cannot be ignored. He must take on his own responsibilities...

Despite the sadness in his heart, he still tried to find a reasonable reason for not letting Wei Zhe'an leave.

His eyes fell on the rearview mirror, and he suddenly thought of the tabby cat. It was inappropriate to think that the cat seemed to have amber eyes as well.

At this moment, Wei Zhe'an's inner voice finally calmed down, and Li Jinhe's ears returned to silence.

He turned his head slightly and looked at Wei Zhe'an. He saw Wei Zhe'an burying his face in his hands, his elbows supporting his thighs, his whole body bent into a semicircle, looking even more sad.

Li Jinhe's heart was also in a mess. He did not carefully sort out Wei Zhe'an's thoughts, so he was not sure what Wei Zhe'an was thinking at the moment.

He asked in a hoarse voice, "Feeling better?"

Wei Zhe'an was so surprised that his brother was willing to talk to him! He wiped his face quickly, sat up straight, and looked at Li Jinhe with a hint of uneasiness and expectation: "I'm much better now. I was a little out of control just now. I'm really sorry... Brother..." He was nervous when he called out "Brother", but fortunately, Li Jinhe's face did not show any rejection.

When Li Jinhe heard this name, he felt a pang of pain in his heart. He didn't want to see Wei Zhe'an shrinking like this.

He responded gently: "No need to say sorry, just vent your emotions. Now, have you decided what to eat?" As he said that, he buckled his seat belt again, trying to change the subject and ease the tense atmosphere in the car.

Wei Zhe'an tried to make his voice sound more cheerful: "Let's go eat Cantonese food today. It's a pity that it's a bit late now. If it were in the morning, we could have morning tea together."

In the past, if Li Jinhe agreed to take him to eat what he wanted, he would definitely choose food with strong taste. But now, he dared not make such a request anymore.

He was not worried that Li Jinhe would reject him, but was afraid that Li Jinhe would agree.

He was afraid that from now on, Li Jinhe would no longer care about him.

Therefore, he was willing to follow the arrangements and choose a light and nutritious meal. He wanted to tell Li Jinhe in this way that he was well-behaved and obedient, and hoped that Li Jinhe would not leave him.

Li Jinhe listened to Wei Zhe'an's inner voice, and his hands unconsciously tightened on the steering wheel. He had a strong urge in his heart to tell Wei Zhe'an that he didn't want to leave him. Once this thought came to him, Li Jinhe finally realized his problem.

He thought that the subconscious rejection from many years ago had been cured, but it turned out that he had just hidden it deeply.

After realizing this, Li Jinhe suddenly felt irritated and he unbuckled his seat belt again without hesitation.

Seeing this, Wei Zhe'an's eyes flashed with panic. He watched Li Jinhe's every move nervously, not knowing what the other party was going to do.

Li Jinhe frowned hard, trying to calm his irritability, but the emotion was like a tide that was hard to suppress. He reached out and opened the central control box on the right side, and took out a cigarette and a lighter.

"Sorry, wait a moment." Li Jinhe said, pushed open the car door and got out.

He didn't smoke often, and the pack of cigarettes in the car was originally prepared for customers. But at this moment, he needed the power of nicotine to calm himself down.

He walked to the trash can, lit a cigarette, and took a deep breath. The smell of nicotine stimulated his nerves, as if it could temporarily calm the chaos in his heart.

He began to seriously examine his heart and tried to analyze his emotions and thoughts. He recalled every moment of his acquaintance with Wei Zhe'an, trying to find his true feelings in past memories and sort out the position of Wei Zhe'an in his heart.

Why did I lend a helping hand again and again? Why could I not resist the urge to get close to him? Why... didn't I want him to leave?

He stood there, the cigarette in his hand gradually burning out. When he put out the cigarette butt, his fingers trembled slightly, betraying his inner tension and anxiety.

He once firmly believed that he was an objective and rational person who did not need the constraints of intimacy and could handle interpersonal relationships with ease. He protected himself within a high wall and found the best balance point for getting along with others outside the wall. However, the appearance of Wei Zhe'an broke all this.

He clearly remembered every detail of his time with Wei Zhe'an. Every heartbeat, every heartache, every self-blame and every pride were real. This person had unknowingly walked into his high walls, but he didn't realize it before.

He lit another cigarette, his thoughts racing.

He began to recall the moment when Wei Zhe'an might have touched the wall in his heart. Although he might have felt a little bit of joy in his heart, he was more afraid. The wall that was once indestructible turned out not to be as solid as he thought.

He smoked frequently, and the expression on his face seemed unclear in the smoke.

At this moment, Wei Zhe sat in the car, holding the seat belt tightly with both hands, feeling uneasy. He stared at Li Jinhe's back, and his intuition told him that his relationship with the other party had changed, but he had no idea what the direction of this change was.

When Li Jinhe returned to the car, the smell of cigarettes had already dissipated. However, his heart was still full of struggle and confusion.