Trajectory 2: entangled curves

As his body gradually relaxed and became comfortable, Mibei's mind became active. So many past events and so many images suddenly appeared in his mind.

He recalled that when he was a child, he was also loved by everyone and was always the most handsome boy in school. So his personality was confident and a little conceited.

Because of his excellent dancing skills, he went to Korea to be a trainee when he was in his teens, and followed a group of grown men to learn and practice. Because of years of training and being exposed to trends and fashion earlier than others, as he grew up, his temperament gradually became more superior, his outfits gradually became more advanced, and he gradually realized that he was outstanding in appearance.

Away from home, with no one to really constrain him, he did some early love affairs and secret love affairs. But most of the time, girls chased him. Out of curiosity, they were casual together, and before they had time to get to know each other better, they felt that they were not suitable. There were also several relationships that started and ended hastily. Later, he became more sensible and felt that the previous casualness was not right, so he became cautious in dealing with relationships.

Over the years, there have been girls who have moved his heart. Because he liked them, he tolerated them and spent more time with them. Maybe when you have them, you will have requirements. Although he will not do anything wrong when they are together, because they spend too little time together and give too little care, the girls will have opinions. For Mi Bei, he gets too little understanding and too many negative emotions, which makes him tired. So even among the two girls who moved his heart, the one that lasted longer did not exceed ten months.

All these romances happened before he was 20 years old. After several romances, he suddenly realized that he was not interested in this. His appearance and hard work did not give him more opportunities to become a star. He entered this circle at a young age and felt the competition, pressure, dark sides, inability, and the warmth and coldness of human nature too early. He learned to slowly restrain his arrogance and edge, and he didn't want to waste his time on these love affairs.

Because in addition to feelings, he understood early on that if he wanted to get the light he wanted, he had to pay more. So he used to be a sunny boy, but now he has become aloof in the eyes of others. After being labeled as aloof, he found that this was also a good protection for himself. His heart, in the shackles-like circle, gained a little freedom. He didn't want to deliberately change other people's views of him.

As for relationships, he is now 24 years old and he hasn't been in a relationship for 4 years. He has had some crushes in the past, but he seems to be able to imagine the process of being in love with a little girl, so he has a new view on relationships and feels that it is not necessary to be in a relationship just for the sake of love.

When he returned to China to develop his career, in the beginning, in order to build momentum for the first wave, his time and space were filled with practice and performances, so he had no time to think about his relationship. Later, his career did not make much of a splash, and as he had more time, he gradually relaxed and experienced some things.

Maybe he has tasted the taste of premature love, or maybe he has experienced more and earlier than his peers. He just looks childish, but he is more mature than his peers in terms of his mind. As for the female artists in the same company or who he has worked with, there are many famous and unknown ones. Some of them have cooperated and hyped up CP, but he really has no feelings. It seems that the older he gets, the less he can be moved, let alone take action. Therefore, being teased as the "modern Tang Monk" is not unfair at all.

But all this changed because Zhuge Qinuo appeared in front of him again and again. When facing her, the iceberg in his heart seemed to begin to shake and melt.

He hadn't been in love for a long time, and at first he couldn't tell whether this was considered a crush or not. When he began to understand, he didn't dare to admit it. But all kinds of signs, wanting to see her, wanting to ride a motorcycle in front of her to show off, wanting to be close to her, wanting to protect her, were reminding him again and again of what he didn't dare to admit.

By now, he had completely understood his feelings, so she would be happy to wear her most precious clothes, so when he came back from the bathroom just now, he was still thinking about what plots from TV dramas he could use; he even used some tricks to make her stay. He could no longer deny his feelings for her, but he also had other worries, worrying about how she felt, worrying about whether she really understood his heart. Otherwise, why, why was her rejection and denial so decisive every time.

Yes, no matter what Zhuge Qinuo thought, it couldn't stop Mi Bei from secretly imagining what it would be like to be with her again and again. It was like there was a kind of magic, this kind of delusion, once it started, it couldn't be stopped at all.

In the past, he didn't want to define his behavior as "secret love" because at that time he never thought that he would be attracted to a woman older than him, and the age gap was 8 years.

What does 8 years mean? It means that I was in the 6th grade of elementary school, and she was already in the sophomore year; it means that when I was still in junior high school, she had already married and had children; it means that even if I really confessed my feelings to her one day, her first reaction would be that I am not mature enough.

Now, the concerns about age are no longer a problem. He has found thousands of reasons for himself to accept and overcome.

As far as age was concerned, he did not feel much difference between her and himself in appearance. Even if there was, he did not feel it and would not care about it in the future. The first sight is the instinct of human visual animals, but he could really feel that she was beautiful and generous, yet playful and naive. Moreover, she also had an interesting soul that he could never read.

As for her marriage and children. Marriage is a thing of the past. Who doesn't make mistakes in life? Do we have to deny her and look at her with tinted glasses just because of a failed marriage? What era is this? Besides, her children, Chengcheng and Xinxin were taught by her to be sensible and cute, and they are not averse to him at all. Isn't it like getting two eldest sons for free?

The most important thing is that through various contacts, he really knows that Zhuge Qinuo is not a nosy person, but she always lends a hand to him, and he can clearly feel her extraordinary concern for him. Isn't this a silent response?

But why didn't he dare to tell her what he really thought? Thinking about it carefully, he didn't seem to be afraid to express his feelings to her, and even speaking out should be the easiest thing to do.

But he was indeed afraid of something. He was afraid that the strong feeling he had now was also an illusion, just like the heartbeat he had for others. He knew that she must be a person who was extremely responsible and serious about her feelings. So he didn't want to be so immature and impatient with her. He had to be patient and show his feelings to her after thoroughly testing himself. This was a sign of maturity.

His thoughts were in a mess, but he was determined to keep calm.