[British and American] Jason Wayne's Struggle

Dick looked at Jason in surprise: "Why are you awake?"

Jason didn't know how to explain this problem. Could he say that he was too sensitive?

It's probably just like Bruce said, he has vicarious trauma, and he has had it since he was a child. He can always empathize with other people's emotions, and in Gotham and Crime Alley, what he feels the most are all kinds of negative emotions.

Anger, despair, frustration, sadness, anxiety, fear... Jason even occasionally has nightmares related to other people. For example, the night he first met Andrea, Jason had a nightmare full of panic and helplessness.

It was also because of this dream that he chose to pry open Andrea's door and put food and water at her bedside.

Jason cannot share senses with others. He is not a mutant and does not have such super powers. But sometimes, the inner pain of others will also become Jason's pain. He always feels the emotions of others very easily.

When he was wandering, he had seen more similar things. Some people were even more miserable than Andrea. There were not many beautiful children in Crime Alley, but there were still some. Some low-class people could not afford service staff of Andrea's level, so they went to the alley to find those children. As long as they paid a small amount of food and change, they would numbly take off their pants, especially girls. They were usually very miserable and contracted x diseases or even AIDS before they reached adulthood.

These children are among the most unfortunate people in the dark side of Gotham. Many of them do not live to adulthood and are worse off dead than alive.

Jason didn't want to become like those kids, so he tried hard to hide his overly outstanding looks, slept in the most secret abandoned trash cans, and only had something to eat every two days on average. He tried hard to protect himself, but occasionally he would run into those kids and passively feel their pain, which would make Jason uncomfortable for a long time.

But in order to protect himself, Jason could only stay away from those people. He didn't dare to get close to them for fear of being implicated. However, not helping those people also made Jason feel deeply guilty. Until he was taken in by Bruce, part of his nightmares also came from these.

Jason is always nice to people who have suffered similar traumas, not only because he can't stand it, but also for the sake of himself who once did not reach out and was powerless to do anything.

They lived in a safe house these days, Dick slept on the bed and Jason slept on the sofa, but Jason could always feel the bad mood in Dick. He seemed to be very guilty and scared. There was a place in his heart that was collapsing, but it was also recovering while collapsing.

Jason thought Dick's trauma came from being almost raped by the Wolf Spider Woman. Dick had nightmares these days, so he gave Dick rare patience and care. Sometimes when Dick began to sweat coldly or even groaned in pain, Jason would get up, sit by the bed and hold Dick's hand.

Maybe he was really too sensitive. He could even sense whether a person was having a nightmare. Jason knew that when he and Bruce slept in the same bed, Bruce never had nightmares, but sometimes when he sneaked into Bruce's room, he could see the process of Bruce frowning, waking up from a nightmare, and then closing his eyes and pretending to be still asleep.

At that time, Jason always said nothing, but just tiptoed into the other's quilt and leaned close to Bruce, hoping to make Bruce realize that he was not alone.

He stood there silently listening to Dick and Alfu finish their conversation, and then Dick turned around and was startled by Jason, but Jason didn't know how to answer Dick, and he was not used to explaining to others how sensitive he was and how he cared about Dick.

So he just turned back to his room, took out the medicine box and changed his medicine.

Dick watched in surprise as little Robin untied the bandage on his thigh, revealing a slightly cracked wound with blood oozing out from the stitched wound.

He sat next to Jason and asked in a low voice, "This wound has been there for two days. Are you going on night patrol today with this wound?"

Jason responded, "Well, it's actually not that bad. There aren't many powerful characters here in Blüdhaven. I just encountered a powerful copperhead snake the day before yesterday. I had to use the poison sent by the vixen to knock him down. I wonder how long your prison can hold that snake."

"The copperhead's attack is poisonous!"

Dick frowned. He thought that a teenage superhero like Jason who had no special powers should flee first and contact adult superheroes to deal with such a dangerous character. It would be a bit reckless to face the copperhead snake alone.

Dick felt guilty thinking about this. If he hadn't been so depressed these past few days, Jason wouldn't have to patrol for him at night and handle danger alone. Maybe Jason also knew that he should call for an adult superhero, but the kid had just quarreled with Batman and ran away from home, and as Nightwing, he didn't seem reliable.

Jason glanced at him and said, "I know, but I've already injected the antidote. Don't always take on responsibilities that you shouldn't bear and things that you shouldn't feel guilty about."

"Eh?"

Dick was stunned. He looked at Jason in confusion.

Jason sighed. “I originally thought your poor mental state was related to Wolf Spider, but you seem to be more concerned about Blockbuster’s death.”

"So you still remember that you are a trainee police officer, and you have the power to enforce the law when facing a vicious criminal, and you can even kill him with a gun, right? Even if you kill him with your own hands, he deserves to die."

Dick stood up and looked at Jason in disbelief. He opened his mouth to refute what he said, but found that what Jason said was true.

He avoided Jason's blunt gaze somewhat awkwardly, turned his face away and sat down again.

"You don't understand. I should have saved him, but I didn't do it then."

Dick left Gotham because he found that from one day on, all he saw was misfortune, violence, and crime. He began to lose himself in Robin's life, and he questioned whether he could really save the city by doing this.

So he came to Blüdhaven, hoping to have a new beginning, to change something as Nightwing, to save more lives, but at that moment he did not reach out to the blockbuster bomb. This was Dick trampling on his own principles.

Dick and Bruce share a common view, that is, principles are something that once trampled upon, there will be a second time, and he is afraid that he will continue to do so until there is no turning back.

But how could he tell Jason this? Jason was only 13 years old, still an enthusiastic little Robin, who was keen to patrol the night with Batman, naively thinking that this would stop crime?

He doesn't know yet that both Batman's and Nightwing's approaches are only temporary solutions, and crimes are still continuing to occur, but they cannot stop trying, otherwise their beloved city will fall faster.

Dick couldn't bear to tell such a cruel fact to a child.

But Jason seemed to have seen something. He said, "You are just like Bruce. You are the kind of people who set too high standards for yourself and are too kind."

Dick thought Jason couldn't understand, but Jason understood from the beginning. He understood that Batman was using his mortal strength to pull up a falling city, and even if his bones broke, he could only slow down the speed of its fall.

This is a road with no future, but Jason never feels depressed or sad because if he hadn't met Batman, he would have died in a dark alley in Gotham sooner or later. But now, he can follow the person he admires most and do good things together with him, even if the end of this road is death.

He admired Bruce and was willing to follow in his footsteps on this road of no return. Even if he died on this road one day, he would have no regrets.

Jason dug out his suitcase from under the sofa, opened the innermost bag, took out a pack of cigarettes, walked to the balcony, lit it, and took a puff skillfully.

Dick was once again stunned by Jason.

"You still smoke?"

Jason blew out a smoke ring. "Don't make that face, man. I grew up in Crime Alley and have a lot of bad habits. I originally quit smoking to reduce the wrinkles on Ah Fu, but you make me very worried, so let me finish this one."

After taking a few puffs of nicotine, he turned back and snapped his fingers at Dick.

"I think you should have had enough rest these few days. You can resume your night patrols from tomorrow. Alfu also asked me to stay at your place for a few days, so I will be your Robin for a while. Don't act like a loser. It's just that you failed to save a person. Isn't it rare for us to encounter such things in our line of work? You can be sad for a while, but if you continue to be depressed, what about those people who are waiting for you to save?"

"By the way, I only asked for five days of leave for you from the police academy. You should go and cancel your leave tomorrow. Also, your landlord Clancy has called you several times. Send a message back to those who care about you."

If Dick had seen Jason, who inherited the name of Robin, smoking before today, he would have been very dissatisfied, and his favorability would have dropped rapidly. Jason looked like a little gangster when smoking, and he looked an old smoker at a glance with his ease. But now Dick could feel that Jason was pushing him back on the right track in his own unique way.

In fact, this child just speaks unpleasantly and has a bad temper, but he has a good heart.

Dick asked Jason: "After seeing how badly I've behaved these past few days, do you still think I can save anyone? Even if I didn't save the heavy bomb."

"Of course you can."

Jason's tone was particularly firm. He touched his lower abdomen and said, "Although I don't want to admit it, you are quite good at fighting. You beat me so hard that I was in so much pain for several days. There are not many people who can beat me like that. This city also needs you. During my night patrols, I even met someone who asked me where Nightwing was."

If Jason hadn't considered himself a male and never taken the fact that he would have to have this organ removed sooner or later seriously, Dick would have beaten him up enough to make him bear a grudge for the rest of his life.

Dick couldn't help laughing. It was the first time he laughed so easily in a few days.

Little Robin was right in saying that he should stop being depressed because there are still people who need him, and he should also face the fact that he failed to save the blockbuster bomb instead of avoiding it. Depression will not solve any problems.

Maybe after dealing with the Wolf Spider woman, he should go back to Gotham, not only to send Jason back, but also to talk to Bruce about some things.

He rubbed his nose and reached out to take Jason's cigarette: "I was quite strong at that time. I apologize to you, but you should stop smoking. If Ah Fu knew that I let you smoke, he would be angry."

Jason glared at this ungrateful man and did not sleep on the sofa anymore. Instead, he lay down on the bed. Dick saw that he occupied the only bed in the room and walked towards the sofa consciously.

Jason took out a tissue, crumpled it up and hit him on the back of the head.

"Come up, you're still a patient, I can't let you sleep on the sofa."

Dick turned around and pointed at Jason.

Jason rolled his eyes at him. “Will it get you dirty sharing a bed with a thug from Crime Alley? Or will I strip you like Wolf Woman?”

Jason felt a little sore in the waist today. He calculated the days and knew that this was a sign that his period was about to come. It was a bit cold to sleep on the sofa. If he caught a cold, it would only make the dysmenorrhea worse. He would be the one who suffered then. Otherwise, he would not be willing to sleep with Dicky Bird.

Dick climbed back into bed and kindly reminded Jason, "I don't mean to dislike you. I just thought you didn't like sleeping with others. And you need to change the way you talk. If I hadn't let you, just the fact that you mentioned Wolf Spider Woman would be enough for me to beat you up again."

Jason stabbed him, “You talk as if you can beat me in this state.” He turned around, covered himself with the quilt, closed his eyes and went to sleep.

Although he didn't want to admit it, Dick finally didn't have a nightmare that night, so when he woke up the next day, he planned to formally thank the little robin that he had held in his arms at some point, but then Jason kicked him off the bed because he was disgusted with his tone after waking up in the morning.