Eros, take you through sex

He felt even more terrified.

This is someone else's child, what about his own child? Why did he choose such a childish way to end his life? He really regretted it. He hadn't accompanied his child to grow up. Although he was divorced, he loved his child deeply. He could still get married and start a new family. His parents in heaven must be very sad because of his death.

He was in extreme grief for a moment, and he regretted coming. He regretted it so much.

His parents actually loved him very much, but their love was a distorted love. They wanted him to study hard and get into what they thought was a good school. He had always been what they called a good child, a cute child, obedient and sensible. He listened to them in everything, obeyed, submitted, and obeyed in all kinds of ways. He had been bullied at school, but he didn't dare to tell his parents or teachers.

He worked very hard and got into a good high school. He studied very hard and forgot to eat and sleep. He got into a very good university. But he was afraid! He hated studying, hated being forced, and hated hearing his parents' nagging, the kind of force that destroyed human nature. So, he felt like he had a split personality. There was an angel in his heart, and a devil in the other.

He thought of the frogs he killed when he was a child, the wild cats that died on the roadside when he was a child, and his masterpieces. But he was well-behaved at home, and the walls were covered with their favorite awards. He received a lot of praise, but he didn't get love. When he recalled these, tears fell on his diary. He didn't want to recall these memories mixed with pain at all, and he didn't want to recall them at all.

His parents forced him to study, made him kneel on broken glass, beat him with a red-hot iron rod, and kept him from eating for two days and nights. He was suppressed by extreme pain. He learned to endure and keep silent from a very young age. Only when he was alone would he vent and solve these troubles in his own way. He never knew that being a person is sometimes not a happy thing.

Just like they say. After you have gone through many things, you finally understand why you cried the first time you came into the world. He still worked very hard and diligently, and finally got into college. But there have been many humiliations and despairs.

For example, I was beaten by several people in the toilet, slapped by the teacher in the classroom, and bullied by others outside. Sometimes, the beauty we always thought of is so dazzling under the sun. When you cry again and again, your relatives are not around, and the so-called parents who love you the most are not around. What a tormenting pain it is!

Lonely college days, without love, but full of deception, falsehood, and pleasure-seeking. At that time, as if he was hurt by the so-called first love, he became very indulgent, accepting all who came, enjoying the pleasure of the body. He did not think that it was love, but only felt that it was a kind of relaxation, a kind of venting, and a way to meet physiological needs. College days were still full of panic and discomfort under the authoritarianism of parents. The so-called short-term love was just to seek excitement and satisfaction. He fell into a kind of torture of love and sex, and he was confused.

He had also been in a serious relationship before, but was hurt badly.

From then on, he no longer talked about love, but only about sex.

After graduating and starting work, he married a girl his parents arranged for him to date. He had a child and thought that this stable life would continue, but not long after, he discovered that his wife had cheated on him and that she had never loved him. He was devastated, and then his work was not going well. All the blows came one after another. Within a year, his father died of illness, and his mother also died of illness. He suddenly felt that the world had collapsed.

In the spring, the wife filed for divorce.

He signed without thinking. He gave his wife his house, car and children. He was left with nothing. He was completely desperate about life. He was not in the abyss, but in hell. God, thinking of this, his tears kept flowing like beads that had broken off the string. If he didn't stop, he felt that the whole room would become a sea of ​​tears. He recalled his more than 30 years. It seemed long, but it wasn't long; it seemed not short, but it was very long. It was fate that made him not know what love was and what love was.

Is it a fusion of bodies or a fusion of souls? What role does sex play?

There were too many things that confused him, and more importantly, he was desperate about life. He took a lot of sleeping pills, which were all prescribed for depression. He felt that this was the only way to end his life. He placed a lot of roses by his bed, because he liked roses.

There was a book there. Walden.

After this trip to the human world, he felt so tired. He didn't see the sun, only the gray sky. He fell asleep peacefully afterwards, without experiencing too much pain and torture. He thought this was the end, and never expected to be brought to this place by a so-called god and assigned a job. When he thought of this, his tears stopped, but the pain of losing everything seemed to come back again.

He missed his son. His only son. He had hoped to have a daughter before, but his wife didn't want to. Now he thought that his wife should be with her lover. Without him, his wife should be better off. When he thought about it, he was still very painful. He didn't know how a person could be uncomfortable with someone he didn't love. Marriage doesn't need to be fake.

What's the use? He just can't bear to leave his child. He loves his child.

But why choose to leave?

His explanation was: life is painful.

It's ridiculous. Who doesn't suffer? In this world, in this life, are you the only one who lives in pain? Have you ever been to a hospital and seen people with oxygen tubes in their beds still trying to live? Aren't those who have received blood transfusions also trying to live? Aren't those disabled people also trying to live? This thought seemed to be rolling in his mind, so he was also tortured by this consciousness.

No matter regret or not, it doesn't seem to make much sense at this moment.

For a moment, he seemed to become quiet, no longer full of resentment towards the god of love, but more immersed in his own suffering, thinking about the future. How can he solve other people's problems when he can't solve his own problems? Is this fate?

Can't we change our destiny?

He wondered if there were other ways to change his fate. After all, fate was magical, but not so magical. In this world, there were always people trying to change things, so he should try to change things as well. He had more and more ideas. In this quiet room, he tried for the first time to reflect, think and deal with things seriously. The road ahead was long, and it seemed that many things could not be influenced, but also could be influenced.

But he didn't know where to start.