Rebirth: A big star falls in love with me

One day in early April, Tang Yan finished filming a night scene in Hengdian and returned to her hotel at 2 a.m. She was so tired that she almost fell asleep immediately, but thinking about her script discussion with Chen Chen the next day, she forced herself to stay awake and opened the script.

The female lead in "Her Era" is named Su Jin, a thirty-year-old urban white-collar worker struggling between career, family, and self. This role is much more complex than Lin Wan'er's, requiring the portrayal of an adult woman's weariness and resilience, confusion and clarity.

The script had a line that read: "A woman in her thirties is not old, she understands."

Tang Yan pondered this sentence repeatedly. She is twenty-three years old this year, and to play a thirty-year-old woman, she needs to cross not only seven years, but also a gap in life stages.

The phone rang. It was a message from Chen Chen: "Still not asleep? There's no need to rush to discuss it tomorrow. You should get some rest first."

Tang Yan replied: "I understand Su Jin. Why did she choose to resign during the peak of her career?"

“Because she’s tired. Not physically tired, but mentally tired. She suddenly doesn’t understand the meaning of all this.” Chen Chen replied quickly, “Tang Yan, you’re too young to fully understand this kind of tiredness. But try to imagine: doing seemingly successful things every day, yet feeling no joy; surrounded by people, yet feeling lonely; possessing so much, yet feeling empty.”

This description made Tang Yan fall into deep thought. She thought of Zhang Yu, and the occasional flash of weariness in his eyes. Was that exactly how Su Jin felt?

"Teacher Chen, when you write a screenplay, do you have a prototype in mind?"

There was a long silence on the other end, then a reply came: "Yes. It's me, and it's also many women I know. Our generation of women is taught to be independent, to be successful, and to balance everything. But no one tells us what to do when we're tired, or what to do when we feel lost."

Did Su Jin finally find the answer?

“There is no standard answer. She simply learned to coexist with problems and to find perfection in imperfection,” Chen Chen wrote. “That’s growth—not solving problems, but understanding them.”

This conversation gave Tang Yan a new understanding of Su Jin. She wasn't playing a woman who "solves problems," but rather a woman who "faces problems." This kind of performance requires more inner drama and less outward expression.

The following afternoon, Tang Yan took leave to return to Yanjing to see Chen Chen. The two arranged to meet at a quiet teahouse, where Chen Chen brought the revised script.

“Based on your age, I’ve adjusted some details,” Chen Chen said. “Su Jin’s struggles are more about uncertainty about the future than regrets about the past. This is more in line with your age.”

Tang Yan said gratefully, "Thank you, Teacher Chen, for thinking so much about me."

"Just call me Sister Chen," Chen Chen smiled. "And this isn't just for you, it's also for the sake of the work. Actors and roles need to be compatible to produce the best results."

They discussed the character for an entire afternoon. Chen Chen not only analyzed the role but also shared her own life experiences—her life abroad, her understanding of marriage, and her reflections on female identity. These sharing sessions allowed Tang Yan to see the real life behind a successful woman and provided nourishment for her understanding of Su Jin.

As the conversation was drawing to a close, Chen Chen suddenly asked, "How has Zhang Yu been lately?"

"I'm very busy, but I'm doing well," Tang Yan replied cautiously.

“He must be very proud of you.” Chen Chen’s eyes were somewhat complicated. “Seeing you is like seeing ourselves when we were young, with dreams, passion, and endless possibilities.”

She paused for a moment: "Tang Yan, cherish this stage of life. The most beautiful thing in life is not the moment you realize your dream, but the process of pursuing it."

"I understand," Tang Yan nodded.

"Also," Chen Chen hesitated for a moment, "if one day, you and Zhang Yu develop feelings that go beyond that of master and disciple, don't hesitate because of people from the past. We've all moved on; you have your present and your future."

These words came as a surprise, and Tang Yan didn't know how to respond.

Chen Chen laughed: "I was just saying it casually. Let's go, I'll take you back to Hengdian."

On the way back to Hengdian, both of them fell silent. Tang Yan looked at the scenery rushing past the window, thinking about Chen Chen's words, Zhang Yu, and the path she was walking.

This path was more complex than she had imagined, but also richer. There were challenges in performing, interpersonal entanglements, shadows of the past, and the light of the future.

But she wasn't afraid. Because she knew that whatever lay ahead, she would face it earnestly and experience it wholeheartedly.

This is the path of an actor, and also the path of life.

It was late at night when they arrived in Hengdian. Before Tang Yan got out of the car, Chen Chen said, "Tang Yan, you are a good actress and you will be a good woman. Whatever choices you make, follow your heart."

"Thank you, Sister Chen."

Watching Chen Chen's car drive away, Tang Yan stood at the hotel entrance, looking up at the sky. The night sky over Hengdian was illuminated by the lights of the film and television base, and the stars were nowhere to be seen.

But she has her own light in her heart.

It is a love for performing, a pursuit of authenticity, and a return for all kindness.

She knew that more complex events were yet to come. But she was ready to face all challenges and walk her own path to stardom.

……

In Hengdian in April, the rain comes and goes without warning.

The third take of Scene 8 in "The Glamorous Imperial Concubine," where Lin Wan'er bids farewell to her sister Lin Jinxiu in the rain, has already been filmed twelve times. Tang Yan is soaked to the bone, her lips are frozen purple, but she is still listening to director Hu Mei's suggestions for adjustments.

"Tang Yan, your eyes were so sad just now." Hu Mei's voice came through the rain. "Lin Wan'er doesn't know this is a final farewell yet. She's just reluctant to see her sister get married. A little girlish melancholy is fine. Don't foresee the tragedy in advance."

"Understood, Director." Tang Yan wiped the rain off her face and returned to her position at the camera.

Gao Yuanyuan stood to the side, holding an oil-paper umbrella, her eyes filled with pity as she looked at Tang Yan. She had already finished filming her part and now only needed to cooperate with Tang Yan's close-up shots. But Tang Yan's take had been filmed repeatedly for two hours.

"Scene 12, Shot 8, Third Action!"

The rain pattered down. Tang Yan stood on the stone steps in front of the house, watching the bridal sedan chair disappear into the distance. Her eyes were clear, and a smile played on her lips—a younger sister's blessing for her older sister's marriage, but also a hint of sadness at the thought of "I'll be all alone in the house from now on." She waved gently, her lips moving slightly as she silently said, "Take care, sister."

The camera zooms in, revealing raindrops clinging to Tang Yan's eyelashes, and a subtle, poignant wistfulness in her eyes.

"Cut! Passed!" Hu Mei's voice finally carried a hint of satisfaction.

Tang Yan's tense body instantly relaxed. Gao Yuanyuan quickly stepped forward, wrapped her in a large towel, and whispered, "Go change your clothes and drink some ginger soup."

Tang Yan nodded, her steps slightly unsteady. Having been soaked in cold water for so long, she felt her body temperature dropping. The makeup artist and assistant escorted her to the rest room, and she was still shivering along the way.