Bondage

Shen Qianyu had always wanted to bring Song back to the other courtyard in the suburbs of Beijing, but his body turned back and forth, and he was never able to do so quickly.

After the illness, Shen Qianyu lost a lot of weight, and his knee problems became more and more serious. Sometimes he felt unbearable when he stood for a long time.

In the spring of the next year, he will be able to go for a walk in the courtyard.

The spring day is no longer cold, but Shen Qianyu is wearing a thick fur, and when sitting in the courtyard basking in the sun, he even holds a stove in his arms.

He mentioned several times that no one needed to bother to carry him out, but Song Wan politely refused.

The sun was very strong at noon, and after being exposed to the sun, he could sleep better at night, so Song Wan persisted.

Sitting with him in the small courtyard, fine beads of sweat appeared on Song Wan's forehead.

Shen Qianyu looked distressed, and stretched out his hand in front of her.

"What's the matter, are you hot?"

Holding Shen Qianyu's hand back, Song Wan said: "If it's hot, I'll ask Liu Yao to take you back to the house."

Shen Qianyu shook his head: "It's nothing, I just feel guilty, and I have been thinking about not being able to take you back to another hospital."

When he was in his prime, his palms were slender and full, but now that he is very thin, his joints are particularly obvious.

Song Wan lowered his head and caressed his hand carefully, his fingertips slowly brushing over the dark scar: "What guilt do husbands and wives talk about?"

"As long as you are by my side, I am satisfied wherever I am."

"Always guilty."

Shen Qianyu murmured: "I have been with you as husband and wife, but I have not been able to achieve good health, and in the past few years, there have been many drags, so that you are always worried and mentally exhausted."

"If I had known today, I should have cared for my body a few years earlier and wouldn't have done so many dangerous things."

He has always been steadfast in his choice of life, and has never regretted it.

Shen Qianyu has always felt that words of remorse are just excuses for fools and weak people.

Those who can control the future in their own hands don't waste time dwelling on old mistakes.One wrong step, there are always tens of millions of choices ahead to find another life, but he will not know the taste of repentance until this situation.

"If I could say one or two flattering words in Nanqing when I was young, maybe I can spend three or five more days with Wan'er now."

"If I knew how to flatter and coax Qin Zhan brothers and sisters into their arms when I was young, maybe I wouldn't be thrown into the mastiff ring again and again."

"If I... can break all my bones and escape in the snow all night, maybe I can accompany Wan'er back to the other courtyard in the suburbs of Beijing today, and enjoy the full moon again."

He regrets.

He regretted it.

"Wan'er, I'm not reconciled."

Pulling Song Wan's wrist hard, Shen Qianyu said, "I'm not willing to be with you for only a few decades."

"I'm not reconciled to not being able to accompany you out to have a look when the two of us have no job or responsibility."

"Obviously there should be a chance."

Shen Qianyu choked with sobs: "You don't know, there is a place in Nanqing called Yunlihai. When the sun rises there, there will be vast waves of smoke in the clouds, like the sky and the earth turning upside down, and the sea entering the clouds."

"The other scenery, I want to show you."

"Wan'er, do you know that there is a kind of light-colored white flower growing by the Su River? It looks ordinary, but it smells very fragrant, and it blooms everywhere in spring and summer, just like being in a sea of ​​flowers."

"That kind of scene is extremely beautiful."

He held Song Wan's hand harder and harder: "But now I can't do anything."

"I really want to take you to see it."

Hearing this, Song Wan frowned and smiled softly: "But I'm impatient."

"When I was a widow in the Marquis of Chengyang, I thought that if I could go out of the courtyard, I would even listen to the noise of people. But after I met you, I didn't want to go anywhere."

"With you by my side, even though it's not a hundred years, a day is worth a hundred years."

Raising his hand to touch Shen Qianyu's white hair, Song Wan stroked his temples again: "I haven't enjoyed the happiness of being a hundred years old, but you and I will grow old together..."

"The results are already excellent."

Shen Qianyu's eyes were hot, and he smiled lightly.

After spring and summer, autumn and winter came. Shen Qianyu's health went from good to bad, and Song Wan was tirelessly by his side every day.

The husband and wife get up early and eat some porridge and pickles together. At noon, one is on the couch and the other is taking a nap on the Arhat bed.

Occasionally, Shen Qianyu would sweat from sleep, and Song Wan would help him gently wipe it clean with a handkerchief soaked in warm water.

"Thank you."

"What's the hard work?"

Song Wan helped Shen Qianyu massage his stiff and cold legs little by little, and suddenly smiled and said, "I was pregnant with Yan when I was a child, so didn't you rub my legs like this at night?"

During those days, her legs often twisted and the pain was unbearable, but Song Wan never bothered about it.

Just because Shen Qianyu would feel it whenever she was uncomfortable.

But now, it's just her taking care of him.

"Did you ever find it hard to take care of me at that time?"

Shen Qianyu said: "I never did."

Song Wan smiled when she heard the words: "So do I."

"It's not hard, and it's as sweet as it gets."

Filling the Tang Pozi made of pure copper with hot water, Song Wan wrapped it with a thick layer of cotton towel, and stuffed it into Shen Qianyu's quilt to keep out the cold.

"Wan'er."

"Ok?"

"How about we go to another courtyard in the suburbs of Beijing tomorrow? If there is not enough time, I want to spend the rest of my life with you there."

"not good."

Song Wan smiled and said: "I know what you're thinking, why do you want to go to another courtyard in the suburbs of Beijing? You just remember that you promised to take me back, but you never fulfilled this promise, and you have some obsessions in your heart."

He keeps his promises, no matter how big or small it is, he will do what he has promised himself no matter what.

But now is not a good time for him to fulfill his promise.

"The small courtyard in the palace is warm, and there is an imperial doctor on hand at all times. This place is more suitable for you to recuperate than other courtyards in the suburbs of Beijing."

Gently patted Shen Qianyu who was becoming stubborn again: "Don't worry about this matter, just owe me."

Seeing that he wanted to talk, Song Wan smiled and said: "In the next life, when you come to find me in the next life, I will repay this love."

"Okay, I will find Wan'er again in the next life, and repay the love I owe in this life."

After saying this, Shen Qianyu let go of the big stone in his heart, and was no longer trapped in going to the suburbs of Beijing.

After another three years, Shen Qianyu's body was already exhausted.Most of the time he was in a coma, unaware of the world.

Song Wan was still quietly waiting by his side as in the past, during the day he was sleeping, she would tend the flowers and plants or chat with Heng Zhi about the past.

But no matter when Shen Qianyu is awake, she will always be by his side.

One day in midsummer, Shen Qianyu suddenly got up.

"Wan'er?"

"I'm here."

He stretched out his hands and scratched randomly in the air a few times, Song Wan quickly grabbed his hand when he saw this.

Shen Qianyu turned his head, looked at Song Wan and said in tears, "Wan'er, I seem to have slept for a long time."

"It seems like I haven't seen you for a long time."

"I just saw it yesterday."

Shen Qianyu shook his head: "I don't remember."

He stretched out his hand in front of Song Wan, and gently stroked her cheek.

After being together for so many years, how come he still can't get enough of the woman in front of him?

The fingertips slid between her brows and eyes, Shen Qianyu's heart ached.

His arm has aged a lot.

The woman's skin is no longer as fair as when she was a teenager, and her cheeks without makeup are also slightly bruised.But her eyes have never changed. Over the years, her eyes still have the tenderness and softness of their young husband and wife when they were together.

"Wan'er."

"I'm here."

"Don't hate me, don't hate that I will go before you."

Shen Qianyu's eyes were cloudy, and his words were vague: "Wan'er, I'm afraid."

"I'm afraid..."

His palm was very strong, as if a strange force burst out from the bottom of his heart, and he didn't let go of Song Wan's hand for a long time.

"Don't be afraid, I am here, no matter when and where I am."

"Yan'er..."

"You want to see Yan'er?"

Shen Qianyu looked up at Song Wan and wept silently: "Let Yan'er take good care of you."

"If I go, you should eat more meat and keep people by your side at night."

"I know."

Tears fell on the hands of the two tightly clasped, Song Wan's heart ached sharply, and he couldn't let go.

"Don't cry, you don't like to cry."

Shen Qianyu looked at Song Wan with nostalgia in his eyes.

"After I go, I won't enter the imperial tomb of the Shen family. You ask Shen Shiyan to find a place with beautiful mountains and rivers for the two of us."

"it is good."

"If I go, the national funeral will be changed to the 21st, and private marriages will be allowed, and the market will be opened."

"Don't delay the livelihood of the people."

"it is good."

"Xiao'er..."

Song Wan said: "I'll ask Yan'er to write to Xiao'er in time."

Shen Qianyu nodded.

Although both Shen Shiyan and Shen Shixiao were brought up by him, but in his private heart, he always pities Shen Shixiao more.

Shen Shixiao's temperament is similar to Song Wan's, he never talks about his sadness and grievances, when he looks at Shen Shixiao, he can always think of Song Wan who is always calm.

If he could, he wanted to see Shen Shixiao, but if he couldn't, then that's all.

"I'm still worried about you."

"Who will take care of your three meals a day? Dress and eat?"

Shen Qianyu's eyes were empty, and he muttered to himself: "You have a heavy heart, and you can't bear to talk about what's on your mind. I'm afraid that others won't serve you well and you won't be able to speak..."

The more he spoke, the more unwilling he became, and the tears in his eyes grew worse.

There are tens of thousands of maids and maids in the palace, but Wan'er won't speak to them what's on her mind.

He was getting old, and the tears were especially sad and heartbreaking.

When Shen Shiyan received the letter from Liuyao, he left all the ministers and ran to the small courtyard.When he entered the room, Shen Qianyu was still holding Song Wan's hand and did not let go for a long time.

Seeing her first child, Shen Qianyu smiled faintly.

"Yan'er."

"The child is here."

Shen Shiyan knelt on the ground, and Hou was in front of the bed.

Shen Qianyu looked at him for a long time, and finally Fang whispered: "Take care of your mother."

A few words had exhausted his whole body strength, Shen Qianyu felt sleepy and couldn't help falling into a shallow sleep.

Everyone thought that he wouldn't last long, but they didn't think that he was unconscious for a long time and still had a breath.

Even though he hasn't taken a drop of water for many days, his chest still heaves slightly.

Seeing him like this, Song Wan couldn't eat for a long time.

"Mother, you go to rest, and the father will be guarded by the child."

His mother has been waiting for his father for a long time, and his body has long been unable to bear it.Seeing that Shen Shiyan felt distressed, she asked the maid beside her to force Song Wan to take a nap on the couch.

Hearing the sound of breathing in his ears, Shen Shiyan knelt in front of the bed and wept silently.

Seeing that the child often carried himself on his shoulders, the mountain-like father now had black cheeks and a sunken chest, and Shen Shiyan felt it was difficult to breathe.

He stretched his hand into the quilt and cried, "Father, you can go, the child will take good care of the queen mother..."

"The empress mother is weak and can't stand the torment anymore. Please forgive the child for being unfilial and saying such treasonous words."

Shen Qianyu's body has turned black and blue, and the imperial physician also said that he is only hanging on one breath, but in fact he has passed away long ago.

Someone from the Tai Hospital once said that the Taishanghuang could be put in the coffin first, and when he couldn't move it, the breath was gone.

But Shen Shiyan didn't want to do that.

He didn't know what his father's wish was, but no matter what, he wanted his father to go away with peace of mind.

Shen Qianyu's palm was cold, and Shen Shiyan couldn't warm him no matter what he held in his palm.

"Don't cry."

Song Wan sat up from the couch, and walked slowly to Shen Shiyan.

"I know what your father's wish is, he..."

Song Wan smiled faintly and sat beside Shen Qianyu.

"Your father is stubborn, and no one can persuade you to do what you are sure of. Now that his temper is on the rise, everything you say is useless."

Gently patted Shen Shiyan's head, Song Wan said: "Is the clothes ready for the two of us?"

As soon as these words came out, Shen Shiyan knew what Song Wan meant, he was slightly taken aback, and then began to cry.

"Mother..."

"Go ahead, I'll persuade him."

Pushing Shen Shiyan away, Song Wan looked at Shen Qianyu and laughed softly.

"I'm getting older, and my memory is a bit weak. These days, I always thought that you were waiting for Xiao'er, and Fang just lay down to rest before suddenly remembering something."

"You once said in the past that if you have today, you will definitely walk behind me. I think it's because of this that you can't let go."

Song Wan raised her hand and gently stroked Shen Qianyu's cheek.

She took care of him every day and never saw any changes in him, but every time she saw the astonished gaze of Shen Shiyan when he came to greet him, Song Wan knew that he should be very scary now.

She had been married to Jiang Xingjian since she was a child, and since she could remember, she knew that Jiang Xingjian was her husband, the one who would marry her in the future.

Before Jiang Xingjian returned to the capital, Song Wan always thought that he had feelings for him.

She thought love in the world was like this, pale and indifferent.

But after getting to know Shen Qianyu, she knew that love is like a raging fire.

The feelings of youth are in the heart, in the corners of the brows and eyes, and every move makes people's hearts beat.After many years of getting along, those ardent loves turned into concerns about warmth, hunger and food, and she only understood the word love, which is all in the trivial life.

"The two of us have actually been an ordinary couple for a lifetime."

Song Wan pulled Shen Qianyu's hand away, and leaned into his arms like thousands of days and nights in the past.

"In the past, listeners didn't mean to, but it took a lifetime to know the word "common", which is extremely unusual."

Holding Shen Qianyu's waist, Song Wan said: "In the next life, I will be an ordinary couple with you."

Shen Shiyan waited in the courtyard for a long time, until the sky was getting dark, there was still no sound in the room, and he walked into the room with tears on his face.

There were two people lying on the bed in the room, just like the scene he saw occasionally when he broke into Changle Palace many years ago.

But he knew that no matter what noise he made, the father and queen who loved him all his life would never chase him all over the hall in a panic like when he was a child, and the other whispered softly behind him telling him to step carefully and not to fall.

"Holy..."

Shen Shiyan knelt in the room, suddenly crying like a child.

He knew it, he knew it would be today.

His father, queen and queen have always been deeply affectionate, even life and death cannot separate them...

He has always known.