I don't want to be an elf!

For members of the Armed Detective Agency, minor injuries are no big deal; they'll heal in a few days. Even serious injuries are no big deal; their superpowers can heal them with a blink of an eye.

For them, the most terrifying thing is suffering an injury that is neither too minor nor too serious.

They need to rest and recuperate for several months, but the Armed Detective Agency is short-handed, and every member is a valuable fighting force.

Therefore, in order to ensure that combat effectiveness can be restored in a timely manner, Yosano Akiko is usually there to "treat" these wounded soldiers who have suffered moderate to severe injuries.

In other words, every time they suffered an injury that required several months of rest to heal, they would be sent to Yosano Akiko, where she would torture them until they were delirious with various means.

The most terrifying thing is that although "Please Don't Die" can restore the body to a perfect state, it has no effect on the damage to the mind.

Thanks to this, whenever the members of the Armed Detective Agency go on a mission, they either hide as much as possible to avoid getting hurt, or they fight harder than anyone else, even if they get hurt, they want to suffer the most serious injuries.

There might be some masochists who enjoy Yosano's pre-operative preparations, but unfortunately, everyone in the Armed Detective Agency is normal.

At least in this respect, they can be considered normal people.

“Dr. Yosano, it’s fine to use your pre-operative preparations on members of the detective agency, but please don’t use them on outsiders…” Kunikida Doppo sighed. “At the very least, don’t show your sadistic tendencies when you use them, otherwise the reputation of the detective agency will be attacked.”

"As the price for saving a life, it's just to make me a little happier. I think that's a pretty good deal, isn't it?" Yosano Akiko said nonchalantly. "If you're worried about the detective agency's reputation, why not stop Dazai from committing suicide in front of his clients next time?"

"If I could have stopped it, I would have stopped it long ago."

"Ahem, why did you suddenly bring me into this?"

Sensing that the conversation was getting out of hand, Dazai Osamu quickly changed the subject: "What we should be doing now is treating this girl."

"That's right."

Yosano Akiko walked to the bedside, placed her hand on Bandaged Three's body, and activated her supernatural ability.

Generally speaking, all wounds should disappear after using the "Please Don't Die" treatment.

However, just as if the treatment had failed, there were no signs of healing on Bandage Three's body.

"Huh?" Yosano Akiko said in surprise, "The treatment wasn't successful?"

"Is it a problem with superpowers?" Kunikida Doppo asked.

"Impossible, my superpowers would never malfunction."

Yosano Akiko looked at the three bandages and raised an eyebrow: "The only one who might have a problem is this girl."

At this moment, the "severely injured and unconscious" Bandaged Three swallowed hard, his palms slightly sweaty.

She was definitely not unconscious.

It was just a pierced thigh, which wouldn't be an instant death injury for an ordinary person, so how could it be a serious problem for an elf?

Although it's true that even an elf with such vitality would bleed to death if left untreated for too long, she had only been injured recently and could still hold on for a while.

He was faking unconsciousness just to appear normal.

After all, if Bandage Three were an ordinary person, she should have fainted from excessive blood loss by now.

“My ability only works on people who are on the verge of death. Since my ability didn’t activate, it can only mean that this girl is not yet on the verge of death,” Yosano Akiko said.

"Given the amount of blood she was bleeding in the car, I thought she was really going to die."

"Who knows? Some people's constitutions are just a little bit special."

"Then what should we do?"

"We also need to use some special methods to deal with this kind of person."

As she spoke, Yosano Akiko raised the serrated machete in her hand, a strange smile playing on her lips: "Looks like we should deal with this first."

Dazai Osamu immediately covered Nakajima Atsushi's eyes and walked outside the infirmary: "Children shouldn't look at these things, they won't be able to sleep at night."

Atsushi Nakajima didn't struggle, but could only say resentfully, "Dazai-san... I'm already eighteen years old."

"Well, I'm going to have lunch with my sister in a bit, and I don't have anything else to do anyway, so I'll head out first." Tanizaki Jun'ichirō's face was pale as he followed Dazai Osamu and the others out.

"Call me when you're done. I'm going to work now." Kunikida Doppo coughed. It wasn't that he was timid; he just felt that patients and doctors should have enough space.

Within seconds, the detectives left the infirmary as if it were a plague.

Only the bandaged Miwa and Yosano Akiko were left alone.

In the quiet infirmary, the sound of blades being drawn could be heard.

"..."

At this moment, Bandage Three already regretted accepting this mission.

"What an adorable wounded soldier. The detective agency is full of men, so we don't usually have the chance to deal with cute girls."

Yosano Akiko placed the scalpels of different sizes on the operating table, and her expression turned pleasant as she stroked the delicate skin of the bandaged woman.

"Losing a lot of blood, but not mentally ill... It seems you'll be a great toy."

The author's words:

Today is Miku Izayoi's birthday, and every reader who wishes her a happy birthday will receive a kiss from Miku.

Chapter 45 Playing Hard to Get

The detective agency and the medical clinic are separated by only one wall.

However, the walls are very soundproof, so generally you can't hear the screams of the wounded.

Although they couldn't hear anything coming from the infirmary, that didn't stop the detectives in the office from feeling the same way.

After all, who hasn't been to the infirmary and received treatment from Yosano Akiko after joining the Armed Detective Agency?

Several of the delicate-skinned detectives, who had been specially favored by Yosano Akiko, were now completely distracted from their work.

Surprisingly, Kunikida Doppo didn't urge them not to slack off at work.

Within ten minutes, Yosano Akiko, who had changed her clothes, pushed the bandaged man into the office.

Looking at the girl with a blank expression and her eyes devoid of life, the detectives couldn't help but cast pitying glances at her.

"That felt so good!"

Yosano Akiko placed the bandages on the nearest chair, and her cheerful mood seemed to make her glow.

This contrasts sharply with the bandages shrouded in a layer of gray.

In just ten minutes, Bandage Three understood a principle.

Happiness in this world is finite.

If someone else is happy, then someone else will definitely be unhappy.

If someone else gets too carried away with pleasure, then someone else will never get to enjoy it again in their lifetime.

"The treatment is over. The wounded have been brought to you intact. The rest is up to you."

After saying that, Yosano Akiko waved goodbye, casually borrowed a mop from the office, and returned to her infirmary with a flourish.

The detectives remained silent.

You call this completely intact?

They've lost their soul!

Atsushi Nakajima approached Osamu Dazai discreetly and asked in a low voice, "If the injured person suffers psychological trauma, will our detective agency have to pay compensation?"

"If there really is a problem, we can shift the blame to the Port Mafia."

"Will the Port Mafia lose money?"

"No, but we can report this to the government as an expense needed to fight the Port Mafia and get it reimbursed by the authorities."

"Isn't this misusing public funds...?"

Atsushi Nakajima and Osamu Dazai discussed in hushed tones how to shift blame and reimburse expenses. Junichiro Tanizaki poured a cup of hot tea and placed it in front of Bandage Three. Doppo Kunikida reported to the police what had happened at the port warehouse earlier.

No one spoke to Bandage Three immediately.

Everyone understands.

After experiencing unbearable pain, people need time to recover.

About an hour later, the bandaged man, who had been in a daze, gradually came to his senses.

His eyes gradually regained focus, and his thinking ability slowly returned. Bandaged Three wiped the drool from the corner of his mouth and finally remembered why he had come to the Armed Detective Agency.

That wretched entity!

At this moment, the bandaged three pairs of bodies were filled with resentment.

Why did they have to hit her legs of all places? It made her suffer at the hands of Yosano Akiko, that hardcore sadist, to the point where she wished she were dead.

Now, recalling the memories of what had just been processed, her body trembled uncontrollably.

She's not a doctor at all!

He's clearly a butcher with a morbid hobby!

"Miss, we are deeply sorry for what you just experienced."

Kunikida Doppo coughed twice, looking slightly embarrassed, and said, "If our doctors cause irreversible damage to your mental health during the treatment process, we will do everything we can to compensate you."

Trying to banish this terrible memory as much as possible, Bandage rubbed his temples and refocused his mind.

Despite the twists and turns, and even the near-destruction by Yosano Akiko, the plan proceeded smoothly, allowing her to infiltrate the Armed Detective Agency.

We've already endured so much hardship; if we give up now, wouldn't all that suffering have been for nothing?

Bandaged Three forced herself to cheer up and began to carry out the task assigned to her by the main body.

“No need to worry, the patience to endure pain is already etched into my soul.” Bandage Three stroked the bandage on his eyes. “What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger. After this trial, my spirit will be as hard as a rock.”

"Uh... really? That's great." Kunikida Doppo breathed a sigh of relief, secretly glad that the other party hadn't made an exorbitant demand.

"I actually admire her for being so stubborn," Dazai Osamu chuckled to himself.

"Well then, miss, let me introduce myself. I am Kunikida Doppo, and this is the Armed Detective Agency, the organization that rescued you from the nightmare of the Port Mafia."

Kunikida Doppo didn't waste any time with small talk and went straight to the point: "The president isn't at the detective agency right now. May I ask you some questions as the acting president?"

"No."

"Very well, then next... wait, is that not allowed?"