ultimate host

Chapter 413 Indulgence is Indulgence

In front of Su Xue, Ai Li always felt very relaxed. Seeing Su Xue's appearance, he often thought of Avril.

He stared out the window, as if thinking about what to say.

Su Xue didn't bother him, and looked at him quietly.

For a while, the bedroom was very quiet.

After a while, Ai Li finally spoke: "Su Xue, do you know why my arms turn into claws and whips, and why there are shields on my body?"

Su Xue still didn't speak, just shook her head.

She knew that at this time, she only needed to be a listener.

Ai Li thought about it again for a moment and said, "That's because I was infected by a virus and my body evolved—or mutated."

Su Xue was not too surprised to hear that she was infected by the virus.

It would be strange if it could become like this without being infected by the virus.

Su Xue thought for a while and said, "You become taller, faster, and stronger. This is evolution, not mutation."

Knowing that Su Xue was comforting him, Ai Li gave a wry smile and said, "Well, it's evolution. At first, I thought this evolution was a good thing, a gift from God. I have done a lot of things with these abilities. , and helped a lot of people. I thought I was going to be a hero."

Ai Li took a deep breath, and in his mind, he began to recall the killings he had experienced.Killing in the game, even killing in reality.

"But then I found out that I was wrong. When my parents and sister were captured by the enemy, I started killing them like crazy to save them. At first, I thought it was just anger when my family's life was threatened, but later, I I found that I actually... actually fell in love with the feeling of killing."

Having said that, Ai Li paused, watching Su Xue's reaction.

Su Xue still looked at Ai Li, and didn't seem to have any special reaction, waiting for him to continue talking.

He continued: "And when I first started killing, I was just excited when I was killing the military and mutant creatures, and then I found that even when facing civilians, I even wanted to kill. I tried to suppress this desire to kill, I I rested at home for a long time, thinking that this desire to kill would slowly subside. But when I faced blood again, this desire became even crazier. Every time I suppressed it, when this desire exploded, it became more violent If this continues, I'm afraid that I will really become a... monster who can only kill wildly and has no reason. Sometimes I even think that instead of becoming such a monster, I might as well kill myself. I don't want my family and My sister saw me like this."

Although now Ai Li hates being called a monster by others, but at this time he has to admit that he is completely a monster in the midst of killing.

Seeing that Ai Li had finished speaking, Su Xue held Ai Li's hand again, and said distressedly: "Brother Ai, everyone only sees your appearance, your terrifying ability and bloodthirsty desire, but not People know that you are suffering unimaginable torture."

"Su Xue, I... what should I do?"

For the first time in front of Su Xue, Ai Li showed a helpless look.

Su Xue has studied psychology. There is something wrong with her current mentality. Maybe she can really help her.

Su Xue thought for a moment and said, "Brother Ai, first of all, to be honest, I have studied psychology before, but I have never encountered a case like yours. Because there has never been a case like yours in history, so I can only guess at your psychological change process and your mental state."

Ai Li is not surprised, his situation is indeed very special.

But there was no worry in Su Xue's eyes, but a very confident look: "But Brother Ai, after listening to your words just now, I have already analyzed something."

Ai Li withdrew his gaze from the window and looked at Su Xue.

Seeing the confidence on Su Xue's face, a glimmer of hope rose in Ai Li's heart.

Su Xue continued: "Brother Ai, you just said that you tried to suppress this desire to kill, but the more you suppress it, the more violent it will be when this desire to kill explodes. And in that case, you Or even lose your mind?"

"That's right, the longer I suppress it, the stronger the desire to kill. When I saw blood, I was like... like a beast that lost its mind. Blood, killing, in my eyes, The whole world is blood red. Before I met you just now, I almost lost my mind completely. If you hadn't appeared, maybe I would have lost control just now. You saw the scene at that time, and I even almost lost your mind... ...If it wasn't you, and someone else, I'm afraid I would have killed her already."

Su Xue was secretly delighted when she heard this.

It seems that his position in Ai Ge's heart is still very important.

Pressing the joy in her heart, she recalled what she had learned, and some cases similar to Ai Li's current situation.Finally said: "Brother Ai, from a psychological point of view, the more depressed something is, the stronger it is. For example, students' Internet addiction. According to Chinese statistics, 80% of students with Internet addiction More than [-]% of them are those whose parents do not let them play computer. And those students whose parents allow them to play computer for a certain amount of time every day, the Internet addiction is not so strong.”

Ai Li frowned slightly, and continued to listen.

Su Xue continued: "There is another example, that is..."

Speaking of this, Su Xue's cheeks turned slightly red, as if she was a little embarrassed.

But in order to let Ai Li get rid of the torment of the demon as soon as possible, there is nothing to be embarrassed about.

"There is another example. Someone once conducted a survey and found that the vast majority of unmarried or single men and women have experienced self-defense. Among these people who have experienced self-defense, more than 95% have experienced psychological problems. They don't know whether it is right for them to do so, they will be confused, feel guilty, and feel guilty. Under such heavy psychological pressure, a considerable number of people will choose to suppress the desire to defend themselves. However, many people The more suppressed, the stronger the desire. And when they start to defend themselves again, it's like a volcano that has been suppressed for a long time erupts again. And the longer the suppressed time, the longer and more violent the eruption. Even Someone becomes addicted and defends themselves multiple times a day, taking a toll on the body and mind."

"On the contrary, those people who didn't try to suppress it from the beginning are very relaxed. When they want to defend themselves, they will defend themselves normally. They usually live a normal life and have no such psychological problems at all. Brother Ai, you understand ?"

Ai Li stared at Su Xue's eyes all the time, and asked, "You mean, when I have the desire to kill in my heart, I will let go of my hands and feet to kill? What if I lose my mind completely? What if I can't stop? "

Although Su Xue was stared at by Ai Li, and she herself had no idea, she knew that her confidence was the most important thing at this time.If you don't have confidence yourself, if you are seen by Brother Ai, Brother Ai will also have no confidence.

So she replied confidently: "It is true. Sometimes, you have to indulge when it is time to indulge, so that your body and mind will be completely relaxed and you can devote yourself to a normal life. But I don't mean to let you let go of your hands and feet completely. Killing, you should release your desire to kill, but you should learn to guide—to guide, not to suppress. Just learn to kill when it is time to kill, let your desire burst out, and then meet civilians or do not treat you When you are hostile, you will learn to distinguish between killing, and then control yourself not to kill them. You will be successful."

"It's like water control. When a flood breaks out, if you only know how to block it, it will not be blocked after all. But before the flood breaks out, dredging the river and building some diversion channels will guide the flood to the place where it should flow. It will not cause harm, and may even benefit mankind."

Hearing this, Ai Li felt like a ray of light was cast in the dark world.

When he discovered that he had the desire to kill before, he tried his best to control and suppress it.Even towards the military and infected creatures, he avoided them and tried not to fight them.As a result, his desire became stronger and stronger, and eventually he lost control and even killed the person who saved him.

Now, if I change my way of thinking: when facing the army and mutant creatures, I will completely burst out all the desires to kill and kill as much as I want.That way, you will feel a lot easier mentally.And when the mind is relaxed, it is the easiest time to control yourself, so when you meet civilians, it is easy for you to control yourself not to kill them.

What Su Xue said is correct, it should be guided, not suppressed.

Thinking of this, Ai Li was overjoyed, and looked at the time in his mind, there were still 15 minutes left.

He's going to nearby Central Park to complete a side quest: Combat Events.

Fight the army to see if it is like what Su Xue said, as long as you guide it correctly, you will not lose your mind.

Do as soon as he thinks of it, he stood up and said to Su Xue: "I'll try it now."

Without any hesitation, Su Xue said, "Brother Ai, I'll go with you too."

Ai Li thought about it, he was going to fight the army, if Su Xue went, it might be dangerous.

But seeing the firm look in Su Xue's eyes, Ai Li still nodded: "Yes."

Su Xue exclaimed with joy, "Really! That's great!"

When the two walked out of the bedroom, Thomas was busy in the kitchen. Seeing Ai Li and Su Xue coming out, he said enthusiastically, "Brother Ai, sit down first, the food will be ready soon."

Su Xue said, "Thomas, you don't have to work anymore, Brother Ai and I are going out for a while."

Thomas put down what he was doing and walked out of the kitchen: "My meal is about to be ready, even if we have to go out, we will go together after we finish eating. There is chaos everywhere now, so if there are more than one person, there will be more security. "

"no need."

While talking, Su Xue opened the door and walked out with Ai Li.

Thomas looked at the backs of the two, a gloomy look flashed in his eyes.

(End of this chapter)