Love in Cthulhu

Chapter 35 Miss Monster's Survival Crisis

Leaving the teahouse and stepping outdoors again, in just over ten minutes, my mood was completely different. Standing under the camphor tree, I felt reborn. Everything seemed pleasing to the eye, even the noise of the older women clattering mahjong tiles was delightful.

This is where he grew up, but he doesn't particularly like it.

The county town is too small. There is no KFC, no Walmart, no amusement park, and no Western restaurant. It seems that everything that looks glamorous and high-end is out of reach here. You can't find a single bright-looking building in the town. They are either faded or have peeling paint.

But there was one person who could make him like this place. Jian Xi was really good at having fun. She was the kind of girl who could have a great time even if you gave her a straw.

She would hop around on the lawn with straw wrapped around her fingers, as if they were little people wearing grass skirts. With just two fingers, they could fight. She could also mimic different lines in different voices, this one using a Xuanhua axe, that one using a Fangtian halberd, making all sorts of noises like "wa ya ya lai wu oh oh".

No one could figure out why she always had so many strange and wonderful ideas in her head. Zhou Nan only knew that he would never be bored with her. She would walk ahead, jumping and skipping, as if she had two restless springs on her feet. Whenever she thought of something to do, she would turn around and call him. Sometimes she would call him "Second Senior Brother," sometimes "Zhou Dudu," and depending on her mood, she could also call him "Little Zhou."

When she's around, I never realize how boring this little place is. But when she's not around, I miss her every single day.

"Still alive"—those three words are truly wonderful. Just those three words are enough to awaken his soul from the ice cave. How much hope there is is not important; anything is possible with human effort. What is truly frightening is having absolutely no chance at all.

He took a deep breath; the cool air cleared his mind. He strolled around the square, passing the time.

The market here stays open until after 9 p.m., and there are lanterns and performances, so he made an appointment with Miss Monster to meet her here and have some fun after she finished her dance practice.

Since we said we'd be good friends, let's be sincere with each other.

He had come to understand that whether he thought of her as a monster or a girl depended on how he perceived her. Miss Monster's feelings were exactly the same as Jian Xi's. Once she calmed down, she would only do human things and would never harm him.

How long does it take to build that kind of trust? The answer is sixteen years. Miss Monster was only six days old, but she has trusted him for sixteen years. Compared to that, three years is nothing. How much time did she spend, and how much time have you spent for her?

Zhou Nan walked with his head down, leaning against the side. When he passed a wedding photography shop, his eyes were drawn to a gorgeous white wedding dress in the window, and he stopped.

It seems that when he passed by here last year, Jian Xi also stopped here, but he didn't care at the time because he felt that such things were still far away from him. He had to make money first before he could talk about love, so he pulled her away with a little effort.

What about Jian Xi? What was she thinking when she looked at the wedding dress? Don't all girls love wedding dresses?
That pure white, gorgeous and sacred light fabric seems to have a natural magic that is irresistible to them. It is not just a beautiful piece of clothing. Wearing it means giving yourself to someone and entrusting most of your life to them.

Through the shop window, he gently stroked the wedding dress. It was indeed the same one from last year, unchanged. It was probably the style she liked.

Have you ever dreamed of wearing this one day, becoming the happiest girl in the world, and placing your hand in my palm?

The light in the shop window illuminated a slender figure walking towards them. Someone pressed down on his hand, which was lightly touching the shop window, then covered Zhou Nan's eyes and pounced on him from behind.

Guess who I am? Guess who I am?

His heart skipped a beat, even though he knew the person who came wasn't Jian Xi. But the feeling they gave him was the same, and there was no point in trying to convince himself.

Are they just friends? Are they really just friends? Would ordinary boys and girls be this close? We're all grown up now, not the silly kids who would compete to see who could pee the longest. We should know what it means to be different between men and women. You're not her. Even if you feel the same way, if you don't have ulterior motives, then don't play these little games of ambiguity.

"Is it a little pig?"

This time, he didn't hold her hand, but gently placed his hand on her wrist.

Such a subtle difference did not escape Jian Xi's eyes. She was slightly taken aback, as this was different from what she remembered.

Whenever she did this, his first reaction was to guess something cute, then smile and pinch her hand to take it off, so that they could naturally hold hands.

I remember this is a technique that Jianxi learned from a girl in her class when she was in sixth grade. It's called cultivating habits for the person you like. If you want to touch her head, you should tap the tip of her nose first each time. If you want to hold her hand, you should spread your five fingers in front of her each time.

This way you'll get a little cutie. Tap her nose and she'll blink her eyes at you expectantly. Spread your fingers and shake them, and she'll obediently intertwine her fingers with yours.

Zhou Nan wasn't very proactive; he was like a thick, clumsy piece of firewood. So Jian Xi felt she should be a guiding lover and teach him how to do things. Although this was a tactic for dealing with young girls, it could also work for young boys. First, blindfold him and hold his hand; it had almost become a fixed routine.

This time, however, it was a matter of skill, perfectly balanced, and absolutely intentional.

She really knows how to distinguish between them clearly. She understands that from the moment she said "friends," they truly became best friends.

We're friends, so there's no longer that flirtatious, mutual affection from before. We're friends, so I won't hold your cold hand at a time like this.

A momentary pang of disappointment danced in her heart, but it vanished in an instant, and she quickly regained her sunny smile.

It's just a minor issue, not worth worrying about. It's only the first day. Jian Xi knows a thousand layers of tricks, and of course she does too. She knows very well what her advantages are. Zhou Nan can't resist anything similar to Jian Xi, and coincidentally, she has all of those qualities.

"Oh, why are you looking at that wedding dress from last year?" She feigned surprise, widening her eyes as she leaned closer to the shop window.

The first rule of simplified performance is to subtly evoke shared memories; his sentimentality and lifelong regrets are your best weapons.

Zhou Nan's heart skipped a beat: "You really like this, don't you?"

"Like this? How could I?" Jian Xi pouted. "When I saw it last year, I thought, how could there be such an old-fashioned wedding dress? The one over at the Bell and Drum Tower is much nicer than this. It's so ugly, no wonder it has no customers."

She made a face at the wedding dress, stuck out her tongue, straightened up, and breathed out a puff of white mist from her hands: "It's so cold, so cold, can I borrow your pocket to warm it up?" Before Zhou Nan could react, she had already reached into his pocket and naturally grasped his left hand that was tucked inside.

The second rule of simplified acting is to take the initiative. As a beautiful young woman who could play a fairy, he absolutely cannot resist your close contact.

Compared to Jian Xi's tall and slender figure, her hands seemed rather small. When they went to bars together, she even had trouble holding those large black mouse handles. They were icy cold in the winter, like holding a piece of ice, yet they were so smooth and soft that she couldn't bear to put them down.

Having already been forced into a relationship, Zhou Nan was too embarrassed to push her hand away. Her fingers, like an octopus, reached in and intertwined with his, hooking tightly around his fingers, giving him no chance to dodge. Under the pretense of keeping warm, she deliberately pressed herself against him, a few strands of her hair falling onto his shoulder.

"Why are you here so early? Weren't you supposed to arrive around 5 o'clock?" Zhou Nan looked up at the clock on the government building across the street; it wasn't even 5 o'clock yet.

"I sneaked away before Teacher Tang was looking."

Jian Xi proudly raised her handsome nose, "You've seen the rehearsals before, you participated in them last year, what's so difficult about them? The main thing is those guys who dance the phoenix lanterns, they're the key, they're the ones who need the physical strength, I just spin around."

"Be careful, the teacher might beat you up if you go tomorrow."

"Well, she'd have to be willing to do it, okay? I'm Teacher Tang's favorite student, don't you know? Pretty girls can do whatever they want, hehehe!"

She jumped down the steps first, but her hand was still tugging at his pocket: "Hurry up, hurry up, let's go to the store and have dinner early, otherwise there will be even more people at night, the restaurants will be packed with people, don't you hate eating in a big group of people, with people always shouting and making a lot of noise?"

The third rule of the simple performance method: value him, cherish him, and elevate him to a high position. Make him feel that you care about his feelings. Most boys are rough around the edges and lack attention to detail. Your thoughtfulness is the key to killing his tenderness.

"I have something very important to tell you." Zhou Nan walked down the steps, shoulder to shoulder with her, the two of them keeping the same pace as they walked down.

"What's going on? Why are you being so mysterious?"

“This afternoon I went to see the forensic doctor in charge of determining Jian Xi’s cause of death. He said that Jian Xi might still be alive and offered to help transfer her to Taihe Hospital, where they would like to take charge of the research.”

Her tiptoeing paused for a moment, as if a huge meteorite had crashed into the heart of the Pacific Ocean, stirring up towering waves.

Still alive? Jian Xi is still alive? Why is she still alive?

Jian Xi's death was of course unrelated to her, and she really didn't remember how she died. Her memory of how she fell was so vague that it was only a fleeting moment, indicating that death came extremely quickly. If she hadn't committed the crime herself, she wouldn't have been able to stay here with a clear conscience.

The problem is, that's not the point, okay? She doesn't really care whether Jian Xi is dead or not. Although her emotional memories all come from Jian Xi, and she is quite grateful to her in that respect, if Jian Xi is not dead, that would be a completely bad thing for her, okay?
Being alive implies that he can come back, that his favorite girl, Jian Xi, will return.

So, what should I do? Where should I go? I am Jian Xi, right? There can't be two identities, two parents, and two Zhou Nans. His love for her far surpasses his love for himself. How can a copy compete with the original?

This principle is like how only one woman can be called Empress, while others are only worthy of being called Noble Lady, Concubine, or Palace Maid.

No! I can't let her come back! Otherwise, I'll have nowhere to go!
What to do? What to do! What to do, what to do, what to do...

It seems the only solution is to... kill Jian Xi completely!
As her heels touched the ground, her momentary mental whirlwind came to an end. The thought that appeared in her mind was terrifying even to herself, and a chill ran down her spine.

Eating or killing someone meant nothing to her; she was a monster. If she didn't want to stay by his side and live the life of a normal girl, she wouldn't need to be so wary of this.

The problem is, that girl is Jian Xi, the one who gave her all of this. Why, when faced with this issue, did his first thought actually be to kill Jian Xi? Was he really that heartless? What about ethics and morality? What about the kindness that came from Jian Xi? Was that also devoured?
She tried to force herself to stop thinking about it. As a half-human being, she still had kindness, a sense of propriety, and a desire to repay kindness.

But once that thought appeared, it wouldn't go away. Reason told her that if she wanted to maintain this kind of life, make him fall in love with her, and completely replace Jian Xi, the best way was to erase Jian Xi and wipe out her last hope of survival.

This is an instinctive reaction when survival is threatened. Just like when humans face an insurmountable danger, fear will prompt them to run away immediately.

As a monster with ruthless methods, she was originally like a wild beast. Although she could not think, her instinct was to kill anything that threatened her survival, no matter what it was.

Otherwise, she wouldn't have attacked Zhou Nan without thinking when she lost her mind because of a movie.

But this isn't right, this isn't right, isn't there any other way? Is killing myself the only way for me to survive?

She stood there, frozen, not taking the next step. She knew she should leave, otherwise Zhou Nan might discover something. He wasn't stupid; he was well-versed in romance novels and sometimes understood women even better than they understood women themselves.

But she couldn't take the next step. Her face was deathly pale, her body was burning hot, and an intense sense of unease struck her like a heavy hammer, shattering her seemingly omnipotent self.

Zhou Nan was startled by her sudden stop. He turned around and saw Jian Xi standing there quietly, seemingly trembling slightly.

He gently touched her forehead: "Are you sick? Your forehead is so hot."

Jian Xi's muscles tensed up suddenly, like a frightened hedgehog raising all its quills. Her body, which was on the verge of collapse, tightened up again, and she almost had a problem in front of everyone.

How to do?
Jane's Acting Rules, Rule 4: When you don't know what to do, pretend to be sick and weak. A sickly, timid, and pitiful girl can evoke a strong protective instinct in a boy.

She bent her knees and fell into his arms, startling Zhou Nan, who quickly caught her.

(End of this chapter)