Love in Cthulhu

Chapter 31 The Fairy Knits a Sweater for the Idiot
In his rage, his eyes shone like black torches, and his bulging young muscles rippled like nimble flowing water. The skills he had never forgotten had long since become an instinct.

The cultural center offers a wide range of extracurricular classes, covering everything from music and chess to calligraphy and painting. Starting from the second grade of elementary school, whenever Jian Xi went to learn dance from Teacher Tang, Zhou Nan was learning martial arts from other teachers.

Everyone shared a practice room. On the horizontal bar over there, girls in practice clothes were stretching their legs, spinning lightly, and standing on one leg in graceful poses.

On the sports mats over there, boys with buzz cuts were doing somersaults and throwing punches with a lot of chuckling. A few of them would deliberately make a lot of noise, hoping that if the particularly pretty girl glanced over, it would satisfy their immense vanity. Little did they know that Jian Xi was always looking at Zhou Nan.

Occasionally, weapons would be used: bamboo spears covered in wax, wooden swords polished with sandpaper, and pairs of people would practice together.

Back in junior high, a blond guy who had a crush on Jian Xi waited for several days. He even dared to come up to her with a brick, pretending to be Rose, and asked her if she had dropped it. Then Zhou Nan grabbed his shoulder.

Huang Mao turned around and saw that Zhou Nan wasn't even as tall as him, so what was he pretending for? He then told his two henchmen to push Zhou Nan into the side alley. Zhou Nan silently pulled out a folding stick from the side of his backpack...

If you dare to laugh at him for not being fully grown up, you'll have to be able to withstand his punches, and you'll also have to be able to withstand the weapons in his hands.

The kids in the compound who used to be his and Jian Xi's enemies haven't done this for years, because they know this guy is a mini-Jackie Chan, and it's best not to let him get his hands on anything useful.

The wriggling hairworms obscured the snowy night, sweeping in like countless wildly dancing venomous snakes. The rusty iron pincers were the swords in his hands, and they did indeed provide a tactile feedback when they struck them.

But he couldn't cut through the hair; it was so smooth and slippery. The half-clamp was just a sharp stick that could pierce out but couldn't cut like a knife. As soon as they touched, tiny hair worms immediately wrapped around the clamp like vines, trying to tear at his arm.

The other half of the iron clamp immediately came over and swept across from top to bottom like a sharpening knife. Its excessive smoothness became its disadvantage, and it did not get stuck at all, sweeping away everything in one go.

The new hair quickly gathered again, and the strange head realized the function of the two weapons. So it slowly let the hair spread out, strand by strand, spreading in different directions, firmly surrounding him in the center, and shooting out with a whoosh.

Zhou Nan couldn't dodge it; some hair touched his trouser leg and immediately wrapped around him, the immense force instantly causing him to lose his balance.

But he reacted extremely quickly. He thrust the coal tongs in his left hand into the ground and used the coal tongs in his right hand to stab and pry open the hair. But more hair worms swarmed up, wrapped around his weapon, and coiled around his arm. A needle-like stinging pain came from under his clothes, and the chill went deep into his bones.

He was completely knocked down, his head slamming against the ground, his face covered in sticky liquid, his hair spreading over his body like a swarm of insects, dragging him bit by bit toward the grinning head.

The iron pincers were completely swallowed by the hair. Zhou Nan shook his head desperately and struggled fiercely, but the sheer number of hairs gave him an overwhelming force that he could not resist. They burrowed into his nostrils, stealing his air, and blinded him, leaving him unable to see anything but the darkness before him.

This is something no human can handle. Even if you are a master of martial arts, if the other side pulls out a black tube, you'll be down in an instant.

A tearing pain shot through his chest. He knew he was going to die, but he wasn't afraid of death itself. He was just terrified of losing himself. There were so many things only he could do: Miss Monster, the deceased Jian Xi, their families…

He wanted to escape, but he couldn't. There was only endless darkness everywhere. On his deathbed, he thought of Miss Monster again. If he hadn't met her, he wouldn't have seen these things, and he wouldn't have been hurt by them.

But why can't I feel resentment? My mind is filled with the lonely look on her face when she left.

Where are you going? Are you leaving this place? No one's restraining you, so are you going to eat people without a care? You'll definitely die if you do that. Organized human society can't tolerate your existence. Don't do that. Maybe you can still be a decent human being, as long as... as long as...

What do you want? He subconsciously moved his tightly wrapped fingers, as if he could grasp her long hair that was about to slip through his fingers.

Okay, okay, he admits that he is very greedy and selfish. Since Jian Xi is dead, he hopes that he can still have something to hold onto and remember. However, he also dislikes her because she is a monster and refuses to accept her.

But what are you so arrogant about? So what if you love someone? So what if you love them the most? It's like Jian Xi is some precious treasure of yours, and if anyone touches her, you'll bite them to death like a little lion.

He laughed self-deprecatingly, a laugh so ugly, so helpless. He suddenly realized that Miss Monster was actually pretty great. She had everything Jian Xi had. As long as she was by his side, he wouldn't feel that Jian Xi was really dead. She could also bring him extraordinary experiences. With her around, what demons and monsters would dare to approach?

But you drove her away yourself. How are you any different from that nagging old monk?

You only realized how unreliable pigs and water monsters were after the monkey left. You only understood that it wasn't that she depended on you after Miss Monster left, but that you cared about her. You were despicable and shameless, treating her like a substitute for Jian Xi, yet you remained so high and mighty, never truly caring about her.

Now you're going to pay the price.

Zhou Nan was dragged in front of the head, whose roaring voice was both frantic and sorrowful, like a wail of grief or a smug satisfaction.

It opened its empty, deep mouth, which was devoid of anything except surging black mist. Sharp, thorn-like fangs surrounded it, and all the hairs seemed to weep in unison. Countless cries overlapped and echoed, creating a chilling spectacle. It was a grand sacrifice, and believers would shed false tears of mercy for the offering.

A crack appeared in the hair worm enveloping Zhou Nan, and light poured in. A frenzied aura surged through his blood vessels, and his brain lobe throbbed with pain as if it were about to shatter. Something stirred within his body, like bamboo shoots sprouting from the soil after a spring rain.

A black shadow pierced Zhou Nan's forehead. The moment it appeared, the head's crying and laughing stopped abruptly, and an eerie silence spread out.

The shadow melted away quickly, flowing along his body. Wherever it went, the hair worms quickly retreated and avoided it, as if they dared not touch it at all.

In the blink of an eye, he was completely swallowed by the shadow. It was just as cool and slippery, but far more comfortable than touching hair. It was like touching a fabric called ice silk in the summer, a feeling of physical and mental comfort, as if floating on clouds.

Zhou Nan slowly stood up, not by his own will, but by the shadows guiding him. He had control over his body, yet it wasn't entirely his. He could manipulate his body according to his own thoughts, and the shadows wouldn't resist. But if he did nothing, the shadows would do what he was supposed to do.

The head stared in shock at the human who had stood up. It was practically a Kamen Rider in full transformation; the swirling, surging black shadows were his armor, his face had two large, bulging black eyes like light bulbs, and a uniquely designed V on his forehead…

In this situation, Zhou Nan could still see things clearly, even better than his usual eyesight. He clenched his fingers, and the abundant strength was transmitted through every nerve, giving him a feeling of exhilaration that he could now even grasp the darkness of the night.

The hair worm cautiously swarmed over, trying to repeat the same trick, but as soon as it got within a few centimeters of Zhou Nan, the hair could no longer move forward and began to dance wildly restlessly. Each strand of hair seemed to have its own will, as if it was scrambling to escape.

The head, in a fit of rage, tried to manipulate it again and again, but no hair was under its control anymore. Hair left one by one, peeled away one by one, disappearing into the darkness along the beams and walls. The hair on its head visibly decreased until it became completely bald.

A hand covered in shadow gripped the head, its five fingers so strong and powerful that the head could not struggle and could only stare blankly and helplessly into its dark eye sockets. The five fingers tightened little by little, and the head exploded like a ball with a bang, scattering fragments everywhere.

Zhou Nan heard cheering noises; they came from the dark figures on his body. In this state, he seemed to be able to understand their language a little. They were like a group of children who had just finished school, chattering happily.

These living, writhing shadows separated into small pieces, transforming into tiny, blood-red mouths, each embracing the remains of a head and feasting on them.

In just a few moments, the entire scene was cleaned up.

So they returned to the armor, and the entire armor slowly flowed and contracted, converging towards Zhou Nan's brow, and finally re-integrated into his body, leaving no trace, as if they had never been there at all.

The unprecedented throbbing pain in his brain gradually subsided, and Zhou Nan held onto the wall to keep from collapsing, breathing heavily.

He rubbed his temples, staring blankly at his hands. The indestructible armor was gone, as if it had never been there, but the touch and the smell were exactly the same as in the bed that night. It was a part of the monster lady that she had placed inside his body.

It turned out that it wasn't just a locator, but also something used to protect him. Any demons or monsters would be afraid and in awe of it. They had nowhere to escape from Miss Monster; they were simply not on the same level.

But she didn't tell him... was she trying to surprise him?

She knew he liked tokusatsu shows, with their flashy transformation belts and cool arm poses—Taka! Tora! Batta! It was something boys could never resist, something that would remain a boy's dream even at eighty.

He could practically picture the cunning, cat-like smile on Miss Monster's face as she did it, even though they had just been at each other's throats. He had rejected her without hesitation and was now drawing his sword to stab her.

But inside her strange body truly lies Jian Xi's entirety—her habits, her feelings, her joys, her little thoughts. She wants to be a villain. If it were her, she wouldn't care about justice; she'd rather be a willful and mischievous child.

That's why she said such arrogant and cold words, yet she placed him on her lap as a pillow, gently stroking his face. Her long hair flew in the wind, and she harbored some kind of clever little scheme in her heart, wanting to put a part of herself into his body, thinking about when to say it so that he would be overjoyed.

Zhou Nan slumped helplessly against the wall, staring blankly at the dripping snow on the eaves. After a long while, he curled up into a small ball.

Hey, Jianxi really intends to protect you for life, huh? Even when her memories reached Miss Monster, she didn't forget you! The first thing she did after gaining superpowers was to put an indestructible suit of armor on you! If you transform in front of her, she definitely won't laugh at your childishness like other girls do. Instead, she'll be just as silly and cool as you, raising her hand, clenching her fist, drawing a beautiful arc, and shouting together—henshin!

She is such a romantic person, the best girl in the world. She would never let you see her sadness. She hopes to always be radiant when she appears in front of you. She has never confessed her feelings to you, but her greatest wish is for you to be happy.

What makes you think that if she goes to Miss Monster's place, she'll say one thing to your face and do another behind your back? Is she that kind of person? Don't you know? Do you like her for her frankness and romance, or simply because she's pretty?

Rarely, he felt he had made a huge mistake. He was torn between accepting the monster and how to view the differences between her and Jian Xi.

But he completely forgot that whether it was a monster or a girl depended on his single thought, because they were the same in their bones. The girl's feelings were the monster's feelings. Her love did not disappear even after her death. If it weren't for her existence, the monster would not have shown him mercy, nor would it have needed to be so kind to him. It would have laid down its butcher's knife and become a Buddha on the spot because of his confession.

So is it really necessary for you to be so conflicted? You may seem confused, but you understand perfectly well. You should know in your heart that if she treats you the same way she did before, why should you feel inferior to her just because of her status? Are you drawn to that ambiguous feeling, or to her kindness towards you? Your world is filled with traces of her. Without her, you can't even go out and love again. Haven't you already been captivated by her?
Now that she has left you, she is willing to leave you with a glimmer of hope, even though... she is no longer human, but still stands under the blooming crabapple tree, holding a white bouquet, waiting for you to call her name.

Damn it, damn it, damn it, I really want to punch myself so hard I could fly off and smash my head against the wall! What have you done? You didn't even ask a single question, all you did was throw a tantrum and refuse to accept her attempts to please you, you stupid idiot, Zhou Nan, you stupid idiot! You've always had this lousy temper, only a moron like her would like you!
He struggled to his feet and plunged headlong into the darkness.

His body was cracking and aching all over. The hair monster's dragging and immense force had cracked his bones in several places. If it weren't for that battle suit, he would have been devoured long ago.

But he didn't have time to worry about that anymore; he had already wasted an opportunity and too much time.

Where will she go? Will she leave? When she's sad, she always finds a secluded place to hide away and let her sadness fester, like a little mushroom holding up a small umbrella to shield itself from the rain. If she can overcome it, she'll grow; if she can't, she'll just slowly rot away.

She laughs and jokes with you, seemingly fearless, but she actually has her sensitive and delicate side, which you have never understood. It seems that all the fairies in the world fall in love with idiots and even knit sweaters for them with great care.

A loud bang seemed to come from the living room. Jian Xi slowly lifted her face, which was buried in her knees.

The bedroom door was open, and a faint light shone through. The man who had abandoned her stood there again, half of his body hidden in the darkness, breathing rapidly. His breath came out in puffs of white vapor, like a fugitive who had just escaped a desperate flight, or a black moth willingly drawn to the flame.

(End of this chapter)