Love in Cthulhu

Chapter 25 made me cry.

Zhou Nan's heart skipped a beat, because the address Gan Tang sent was indeed his home address, not the old house, but the place where his parents and Zhou Lan lived.

How can this be?

He glanced cautiously at Jian Xi, who was still sniffling and crying like a baby. He remained calm, glancing sideways at his phone as he typed with his thumb.

"Where did you find out? What are you trying to do?"

The feeling that someone could tell you your address after just one meeting was dangerous. It reminded him of some so-called yandere. Apart from not speaking human language and behaving strangely, Gan Tang was generally a pretty girl. Could it be that she fell in love at first sight but couldn't have him, so she turned her love into hatred and started taking it out on her family?

"I won't tell you, it's my secret. Anyway, I'll come to your house tomorrow afternoon." Gan Tang's reply was still very straightforward; she's a tough girl.

"I'm begging for forgiveness. I shouldn't have tricked you into coming out. Please let me go, okay?" Zhou Nan really didn't have time to pay attention to her right now. His mind was focused on how to improve his relationship with Jian Xi.

"No, the point of this isn't that I'm letting you off the hook, but that it's very important to you."

"Then can you tell me what it is? You keep saying we'll talk, talk, talk, what exactly do you want to talk about? Those tangible things?"

"I will only speak after a detailed explanation in person. See you tomorrow."

"Don't go! At least give me a heads-up..."

However, Gan Tang's profile picture had already turned gray, giving Zhou Nan no chance to fight back.

That's really aggressive. I met someone on the street and we hit it off. After hesitating for a bit, I started pulling and tugging at them, saying I wanted to have a talk. Now I've even gotten their home address and said I'm coming over. Even harem fantasies don't have this kind of attitude! If the wild boar won't come to eat my grass, then I'll go after the wild boar.
Zhou Nan's mind was in turmoil. Actually, just looking at Gan Tang's appearance, she really appealed to him...

Damn, why do I feel so awful? Is it true that wild flowers smell better than garden flowers? Am I eating what's in the pot while eyeing what's in the bowl?
He mentally slapped himself to wake up, turned off his phone screen, and saw that the video on the screen was nearing its end.

At that moment, the light of heaven descended in front of the station. In Hachiko's half-closed eyes as he lay dying, he finally saw the professor push open the door and call his name. He happily rushed into the professor's arms and licked his face. This stubborn Akita Inu finally met his end.

The Japanese themselves actually made a film about Hachiko, but their version was too realistic and cold. The money sent by people who pitied Hachiko was embezzled by the station manager. The people working there complained that Hachiko was dirty and in the way, and they always mentioned him. After the incident was reported, many people questioned and ridiculed him. The statue erected after Hachiko's death was melted down and used to make weapons during the later, inhumane war.

So he chose the American version, in which everyone is a good person. The only one with selfish motives is the sausage seller who wants to be in the newspaper and is always with Hachiko. He has never done anything bad and even gives him food. It is a heartwarming and beautiful fairy tale.

"I've actually read this story too." As the loving ending theme song played, Jian Xi slowly regained her composure, though tears still lingered in the corners of her eyes.

Zhou Nan paused for a moment: "Then why didn't you tell me from the beginning?"

He chose this film to see her performance, but with movies, the first viewing is always the most exciting. No matter how good a movie is, you'll feel like something's missing the second time you watch it.

“That’s what Jian Xi has seen before, so it’s impossible for her to remember everything. For me, every second is a first time.” She said softly, her long eyelashes trembling slightly, her eyes becoming somewhat hazy, tears blurring her vision, turning everything into overlapping and intertwined light and shadow.

At this moment, Miss Monster did not call herself Jian Xi; she knew very well that she and that girl were two different things.

She remembers every moment of emotion that brought her to tears, every instant of laughter, and every blissful night, even down to what she was doing at that moment.

But she didn't feel anything real. Jianxi had seen this movie twice before, and cried buckets each time. This third time was the one that truly belonged to her. The tender scenes flashed through her memory on her retina, and her heart melted along with them.

The clearer her understanding became, the more she envied the girl named Jian Xi from the bottom of her heart.

I want to be happy every day, I want to eat more delicious food, and I want summer to come soon so I can wear a light and airy dress and show off my proudest, long, straight legs.

Now she is Jian Xi, and she can do all these things, but she doesn't know why she suddenly feels so sad. Her heart aches so much, as if it's about to break apart.

The sofa beneath her was soft, the blanket covering her was so comfortable, and the person nestled against her had a reassuring body temperature. Moreover, he said he liked her. She couldn't answer what happiness was, but she felt that this was happiness. So, was this tears of joy?
Or is she crying for the deceased Jian Xi? She wouldn't be where she is today if Jian Xi hadn't died, yet her emotional memories are all inherited from Jian Xi.

If a girl could clearly know that she died in the winter of her sixteenth year, she would surely be just as sad, wouldn't she?

So... am I (Jian Xi) crying for myself (Jian Xi)?
She covered her face, which was about to fall off, with her hands, trembling, and burst into tears.

The sound of crying filled the empty room, sending chills down one's spine. It was somewhere between a girl's lament and a monster's hoarse cry, both sharp and pitiful, and like wind swirling through the depths of a cave.

Zhou Nan watched in shock as Jian Xi's body slowly melted away, her clothes collapsing as they lost their shape.

It was as if she had suddenly transformed into a highly viscous fluid, jet black and shiny, slowly flowing along the sofa and carpet. The snowflake-like blackness was unfathomable, and just one glance made him feel as if he were standing in the depths of the universe peering into the boundless starry sky, giving him a splitting headache.

What's going on? Did her body reach its limit and collapse, or was she unable to maintain her girlish appearance and reveal another form? When she jokes, doesn't she always become thin and delicate like a two-dimensional character? But now she's crying so bitterly, it doesn't seem like she's teasing her at all.

Jian Xi was no longer human. Only her clothes were left on the sofa. Her dark, clear eyes twitched between the folds of her clothes. Her cries grew fainter and weaker because she had lost her vocal organs and could only make the sounds she used to make.

This mess left Zhou Nan at a loss. Just looking at it made his stomach churn, as if he wanted to wring out everything he had just eaten.

But he wasn't afraid. His years of immersion in gory horror movies had given him an extraordinary resistance to such phenomena.

He guessed that something must have happened to Jian Xi. The keys, the phone, the clothes, and even the girl's body—the ability to devour souls wasn't her only special ability; she could also replicate those things perfectly, even retaining their original state. She just hadn't explained how she did it. Considering her fluid-like shadow form, perhaps she simply used parts of her body to mimic the external shape.

He felt he had to do something, so he stretched out his arms as far as possible, leaned back, and lifted her clothes, trying to include the fluid shadows within them so they wouldn't spill out.

At that moment, a sudden thought flashed through his mind: why not take this opportunity to get rid of this piece of Jianxi?

Yeah, why not? These past few days I've been unable to eat or sleep, living in constant fear, all because of her existence. Confessing to her was just a temporary measure to control her. She's a complete monster; who knows when she might suddenly turn on me and devour me?

Once the thought came to mind, it wouldn't go away. Zhou Nan looked at Jian Xi, who was huddled inside the clothes. There wasn't much of her in this state; the thick winter clothes were enough to pack her up. If they found a sealed container or something, they could indeed lock her inside.

It's impossible to dump her in another city overnight. If she can recover, she can definitely run back. At that point, it won't be something that can be resolved by begging or saying you love her.

Perhaps we could sink her to the bottom of the river? Just like those methods of disposing of a body, firstly, the river would carry her away, secondly, she might not be able to escape or float to the surface, and maybe we could just kill her like that.

He thought it was feasible, so he quickly went around looking for a suitable container in his house. Considering it was a monster, he was worried about making multiple layers if he felt uneasy. Anyway, he felt no pressure when he picked it up, as it was very light.

Just as he was busy rummaging through the drawers, he tripped over a box under his feet and stumbled. He lost his grip and spilled the Jianxi drink. Fortunately, it was very concentrated, so it was only a little bit, but that little bit just happened to touch the back of his bare hand.

In an instant, the whole lump came back to life and began to wriggle, as if it had received a signal from some creature. The shapeless, black, sticky shadow emitted an eerie light as it writhed and flowed toward the part of his hand that had just touched it.

He should have run away, but he couldn't run at all. The nerve currents in his muscles seemed to die completely in that instant, and he collapsed weakly against the wall, as if he had no bones.

In that seemingly lifeless shadow, he felt watched, not by eyes or gaze, but by something intangible and great that made him feel his own insignificance and powerlessness, even trembling with fear and submission.

A lump of Jianxi crawled onto his body and then spread like water. It was hard to imagine that something that could be contained in just one basin could spread out to be so much, seemingly endless, covering his skin, his neck, and finally even his hair. A strong feeling of suffocation enveloped him.

It was a very familiar feeling. It was the same when I was stabbed earlier, but I was almost dead then, so the impression I had was too blurry. Now, my strong and clear consciousness probably resisted her, and I could clearly feel and remember her.

His brain was throbbing so badly it felt like it was going to explode. Countless dazzling lights and images flashed before his eyes, and he heard a cacophony of different sounds. In less than a second, his consciousness jumped back and forth between dozens of people within a hundred meters of him: some were having dinner with their families, some were sleeping, some were playing cards...

This time, the sense of reality was much stronger than before. He could even see the cards in the other person's hand and think about them. The other person originally wanted to split the pair of 2s, but he felt that he should play a single card to suppress it first, so the other person actually did that.

Did I control him? Or did I influence him?
This must be what Jianxi meant by getting close to her freeing up your mind, just like the arrow in that comic, the person pierced either dies or passes the test and gets a substitute.

It's quite interesting... Although he really didn't want to admit it to her, there was a chuunibyou (delusional) teenager living inside him. What silly teenager doesn't like superpowers?
He just didn't like these things from monsters; he always felt they were a bit dirty. He still had his girl in his heart, and those things he hadn't finished.

But now he was going to die too. The lack of oxygen caused his brain to go blank, his thoughts would be interrupted from time to time, and his impression of Jian Xi became more and more blurred. It seemed that he could hardly remember her face anymore, and only remembered that there was a girl with such a name.

Was this part eaten too? It seems you can't completely trust monsters after all.

He chuckled hoarsely, feeling incredibly stupid. If you dare to fall in love with a monster, don't blame it if one day the monster will treat you as food.

"Jian... Xi." He moved his lips, trying to squeeze out her name, "I'm sorry."

During this time, he never gave up trying to retrieve his phone. If he died, no one would be able to care about Jian Xi anymore. He had to do at least some things before he died. For example, there was a text message on his phone that he had never sent. It contained the truth of the past few days, and the target was Jian Xi's mother.

The writhing shadow suddenly stopped. That name was like a ray of light, cleaving through the deep darkness, dispelling simple desires. The personality, lost in countless fragments of memory, raised its head and looked at the light pouring in.

She was a nameless monster, without memories or thought. All her actions were driven by instinct. She didn't even know how much she had eaten; she only knew that she had to eat and swallow when she was hungry.

But why would a voice suddenly shout "No! No!"? It was as gentle as dewdrops, yet carried a forceful and unyielding anger.

Who is that? Who are you? And who am I?

Jian Xi suddenly raised her head, and the flowing shadows quickly coalesced into a form. She opened her eyes in the light, looking bewildered and helpless. Her eyes, so clean and without any impurities, were as clear as those of a newborn baby.

Zhou Nan gasped for air, his whole body covered in cold sweat. For the first time, he felt that breathing was such a pleasant thing. Only in this way could he feel that he was really alive. The feeling of repeatedly sticking out one's foot on the edge of death was just a frightening dream.

"I..." Jian Xi opened her mouth, but the sound that came out was as unpleasant as a long, drawn-out note, like that of an erhu. She frowned, pinched her neck, and hummed softly twice before her voice returned to normal.

"You'd better get up quickly." Zhou Nan's gaze slowly moved downwards, his eyes flashing, freezing, unconsciously memorizing.

He wanted to be a gentleman who didn't flinch, but he couldn't, because the timing of her recovery was too bad. With their eyes locked and their breaths mingling, this position was either about getting to base or about forcibly pushing her down.

After hearing him say that, she did feel that something was wrong, cold and strange. Jian Xi looked down at herself, and decisively rolled away. Her posture was so brave that it was like Deng Ai walking to Ma Ge Mountain back then. Since there was no way out, she wrapped herself in a felt blanket and rolled down the hillside.

Her felt blanket was her own clothes next to her; she was really glad that Zhou Nan had used the clothes to melt the blanket she had brought over.

However, such a bold move had no effect; as she rolled around and wrapped herself up, Jian Xi slammed her head against the cabinet leg with a thud, the pain making her want to curse.

(End of this chapter)