A master of comedy!

Chapter 32 Dingjun Mountain

At noon, at the Zhu residence.

Today was not a day off, but Magistrate Zhu left the yamen early and returned home to enjoy his new home.

With the emperor far away and the heavens high, in this Qinggu County, he was the absolute and just magistrate, the parent official of tens of thousands of people!

Looking back on those impoverished days, how could I have imagined the glory I would enjoy today?
Especially now that his wife has become so beautiful, with her captivating eyes and soft, melodious voice, he can't resist her charm.

Before an incense stick could burn, the passion inside the room had already dissipated.

Magistrate Zhu lay on the bed, panting heavily, his forehead covered in sweat, muttering to himself.

"Time waits for no one, how about we replace that thing sometime?"

"Or I could ask my older brother to help me choose a good kidney..."

While he was pondering, his wife was dressing up in front of the mirror, tidying her disheveled hair, applying makeup, and then sitting in front of the bronze mirror, gazing at herself intently.

At first, she was a little scared after the head transplant, but whenever she saw her beautiful face in the mirror and felt her husband's infatuated gaze, she became more and more immersed in it.

Now, I've long forgotten what I used to look like, and instead I take great care of this face.

"Master, you're right. Yu Zhensheng and his apprentice haven't made any moves these past few days. It seems they've given up."

Magistrate Zhu puffed on his pipe, exhaling smoke, his eyes narrowed, a smug look flashing across his face.

Even the infamous ruthless Yu Zhensheng was intimidated by just a few words from him.

"Heh, these actors who perform underhanded tricks, they seem mysterious and eccentric, but they're just like actors. On stage they sing about chastity, loyalty, filial piety, benevolence, and righteousness, but off stage, aren't they just a bunch of lowlife actors?"

Upon hearing this, the magistrate's wife instinctively felt a sense of disgust, and her head spun slightly.

Just as she was about to speak, hurried footsteps suddenly came from outside.

"Sir, something terrible has happened! Someone is beating the drum in front of the yamen to appeal for justice. They've been beating it for a quarter of an hour, and the people are all watching!"

Magistrate Zhu sat up abruptly, his eyes flashing with a fierce light.

……

Boom!Boom!Boom!Boom!
At the yamen (government office), a figure holding a drumstick struck the large drum at the entrance with force, and the rain-like drumbeats attracted many onlookers.

"Stop knocking! The master isn't in the yamen!"

"Stone, the magistrate has already made a judgment on your case, it's all in black and white. You still dare to beat the drum? Was the punishment you received last time too lenient?"

The officials stepped forward to persuade him, but the man beating the drum ignored them, his eyes fixed on the drumhead, and he beat the drum with all his might, as if he wanted to vent all his resentment!
Because there were onlookers, the officials could not use force in public. After all, the laws of Da Xuan stipulated that if anyone beat the grievance drum, the county magistrate must hold a public trial.

Time passed slowly, but the magistrate still hadn't appeared. The man known as Stone continued to knock, large beads of sweat dripping down his face, wetting the blue bricks on the ground.

This was the second time he had sounded the drum to appeal for justice.

In order to seize the fertile land that had been passed down through generations in Qinggu County, the Li family, landlords, secretly altered the loan receipts, multiplied the interest several times, and took away all of the family's land, ancestral home, and oxen. The father couldn't catch his breath and died of anger.

He then beat the drum to appeal his case, only to find that the Li family had already bribed the county magistrate. He was given thirty lashes in court and left with a limp.

In despair, he intended to hang himself, but was saved by a mysterious person.

The man was dressed in a black robe and wore a theatrical mask. He only said two sentences.

"If you want revenge, strike the drum in front of the yamen at noon tomorrow."

"As long as the magistrate lives, the drumbeats will never cease."

……

Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom...

Stone ignored everyone, staring intently at the drumhead, remembering the mysterious man's words.

He hated Master Li, and he also hated Magistrate Zhu, who was in cahoots with him. He imagined the grievance drum as the heads of the two men, and he pounded it like a storm.

Just then, the county magistrate's sedan chair finally arrived, albeit late.

Magistrate Zhu lifted the curtain, his gaze dark and gloomy, and coldly shouted, "You audacious scoundrel! Last time, I made an exception for you because your father had just died, but today you dare to disrupt the court?"

"I have official duties to attend to, overseeing the administration of this county. How can I allow myself to be bothered by you every day?"

"Guards, seize him immediately!"

With Magistrate Zhu's words, the officials acted with more freedom. One official picked up a fire-and-water stick and smashed it down on the arm of the man striking the drum with the stone.

A cold smile crept into his eyes. Last time, he had 'accidentally' broken Shi Tou's leg; this time, he aimed for his elbow. "I'll cripple your hand, let's see how you'll keep hitting!"
But the next moment, there was a loud whooshing sound, and under the bright sunlight, it seemed as if a black lightning bolt had ripped through the sky, moving at an extreme speed.

puff!
A jet-black arrow pierced the official's throat, and before blood could spurt out, it shot through another man's chest with lightning speed.

hum!
The arrow, still powerful, was deeply embedded in a pillar at the yamen, penetrating three inches into the wood. Its tail vibrated like wings, humming incessantly.

Tick ​​tock, tick tock...

Drops of crimson blood fell from the arrow feathers, staining the blue bricks in front of the gate.

"Um... uh..."

The official who had just been fierce and ready to break Shi Tou's arm was now kneeling on the ground, desperately clutching his throat, which was gushing blood like a fountain. His eyes were filled with terror, but he could only utter muffled, hoarse sounds.

The other officer, who had been pierced through the heart, collapsed to the ground, bleeding profusely.

Kill two birds with one stone!
A deathly silence fell over the surroundings. After a brief moment of shock, screams of terror erupted from the scene, and chaos ensued.

"Kill, kill!"

"Run! Someone's dead!!"

"Master, be careful! There's an assassin!"

Amidst the cacophony, the only constant was the thunderous drumbeats.

Even though blood splattered onto the drumhead, Shi Tou continued to strike desperately. Upon seeing the blood, his exhausted body burst forth with new strength, and the drumbeat suddenly resounded, shaking the heavens.

Just then, a powerful and majestic operatic tune rang out from not far away.

"This humble general is old and brave—"

"Blood and energy surge through the sky!"

Whoosh!Whoosh!
Two more thunderous sounds rang out as the bows were drawn, the arrows leaving the string with a sound like tearing silk, piercing the eyes of the two officers and flying out of their skulls.

Blood and brain matter splattered.

"Killing people is as easy as slicing grass."

"Riding a horse, we travel east and west!"

Whoosh!Whoosh!Whoosh!
The sound of arrows piercing the air blended seamlessly with the drumbeats, like the sound of gongs and drums playing a battlefield symphony.

One after another, figures fell to the ground, screams echoed, and blood splattered everywhere, almost staining the plaque that read "Upright and Just" red.

The officials who used to be arrogant and domineering finally experienced the fear of being at the mercy of others.

They tried to dodge, but the arrows seemed to have eyes; they were not only as fast as lightning but also incredibly accurate.

throat, brow, heart...

Blood splattered everywhere, and cries of agony filled the air.

So even jackals feel pain.

"Two arms with a thousand pounds of strength, able to draw an iron bow—"

As the opera-style recitation continued, the arrows seemed to gain even more power, piercing through the wood and stone and killing the officials hiding behind them one by one!

"In terms of combat, it's still..."

The operatic style suddenly intensified, filled with heroic spirit, as he uttered the final three words.

"Old Huang Zhong!!"

As soon as he finished speaking, the arrows stopped flying, and all the officers and soldiers were dead, their bodies covered in blood.

The entire government office was riddled with holes.

On a rooftop not far away, Zhou Sheng, with his feet in a V-shape, raised his eyes and made his appearance with the posture of a three-drawn bow.

Snowflakes adorn golden armor, freezing the cold; apricot-yellow banners lean against the clouds, their shoulders removed.

A bolt of lightning shot out, striking the tail; a roar pierced through Dingjun Mountain!

……

(End of this chapter)