Ice Vapor Goddess

Chapter 5 Symptoms

Siren naturally heard Mathilde's exclamation, and knowledge of the term flooded into his brain from his memory.

"Divine will" is an essential element for performing divine magic. The more divine will one has, the more times and for how long one can perform divine magic. The amount of divine will depends on one's own piety and the number of believers.

But "sacred sites" are another dimension, belonging not to "gods," but to the "holiness" of mortals.

The most basic divine spells are not very effective at interfering with reality. For example, [Radiance] summons a ball of light that is brighter than a gas lamp.

【Holy Healing】is not a cure without effort; it simply accelerates the natural healing of wounds.

It is far from having the ability to interfere with reality, manipulate matter, create energy, or create things out of thin air.

"Sacred relics," on the other hand, are created through the practice of doctrine, the deeds of saints, and the acts of good deeds, sacraments, and the relief of the poor.

For example, Saint Martin shared his cloak with the poor, Saint Francis kissed a leper, and Saint Elizabeth shared the food in her castle with the poor.

Xilun's first holy relic was the "Winttington Sermon." Four years of sermons allowed him to accumulate half of a vague holy relic, and also granted him his first divine spell that could interfere with reality: "Stop."

The second sacred relic is "Rescue in the Snowstorm". His actions of risking his own health to rescue all the survivors have directly surpassed the previous four years and condensed into a complete sacred relic.

"Is this a sacred relic? This is the first time I've seen a new sacred relic materialize." Mathilde walked through the snow, her delicate face pale in the wind and snow, a few strands of orange-red hair peeking out from under her white headscarf like burning flames.

“I didn’t expect that either.” Xiren nodded. In peacetime, miracles were indeed rare. “However, you also participated in the rescue, so it wasn’t just my mission. Theoretically, the miracle should be diluted…”

Mathilde shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe it's because I was also one of those being rescued."

"Is that so?" Xilun didn't press further, because the condition of the survivors beside him had begun to deteriorate. Some who were still in relatively good condition had woken up, but they were only confused and desperate.

“I remember there’s antifreeze and a hand warmer in the eleventh car, could you get me some?” Celen said to Mathilde, who was in the best condition there.

“Okay,” Mathilde replied, then looked around, her eyes suddenly lighting up. “Ha, found it!”

She pulled out a sled from somewhere, then, holding the rope, carried the sled to find the eleventh carriage.

Xilun withdrew his gaze, unleashed a golden mist, and focused his attention on the second sacred relic.

He graduated from the theology department of the University of Florence, the highest institution of learning in the church, and has memorized hundreds of divine spells. However, because he doesn't really believe in God and doesn't have a single believer at the moment, the spells he can use are extremely limited.

But each sacred relic offers a unique divine spell.

He quietly sensed the images of the sacred site, establishing a connection with "God" in the unseen realm.

It was a magical experience, as if a miracle was a kind of labor, and this labor, as an active bridge, was built between him and the symbolic order of the Church, touching the Other that was constructed by countless believers.

Although in Xilun's understanding that such a thing was purely fictional, it unexpectedly gave him inspiration and strength.

“I have come to throw fire on the earth; and if it has already set on fire, will I not also want it?” (Luke 12:49)

【Sacred Fire Technique】Burning fiercely, it is a raging fire in the cold winter, never extinguished before the faith is burned out.

The sacred flame burned brightly among the survivors, giving them warmth, while Siron went to pull the sled with Mathilde.

Although the Northern Holy See capsized, only three carriages were severely damaged, and the rest of the cargo was still there. Unfortunately, they couldn't take it all with them and could only pick out some that they needed urgently.

Back under the sheltered steel plate, a guard who had just woken up burst into tears, clinging to the corpse beside him for a long time.

It was a man who looked a little older than him, with a fine mustache.

"Who is he to you?" Xiren crouched down and gently patted the guard's shoulder.

“My brother.” His voice was hoarse and pained, but seeing the dark purple robe beneath the Siron coat, he still managed to shout, “My lord.”

"Please accept my condolences," was all Xilun could say.

"My lord, is he beyond saving?" The guard looked at Siren with an indescribable pain in his eyes, causing the analyst, who had never experienced death, to look away, unable to bear looking into his eyes. "My lord, has God abandoned us?"

A rustling sound came from the small, sheltered spot, and the few remaining survivors all looked towards Xilun.

They looked at Xilun with either anticipation or anguish, awaiting his answer.

Siren knew what they wanted, of course. All they wanted was a simple "God has not abandoned you," which would be a great comfort to those who had suffered immense pain and whose world had collapsed.

Even if they might know it's just a consolation, even if he doesn't explain anything, that's enough.

They just wanted a stitching point, nothing more.

But as a nonbeliever, as a psychoanalyst, he seeks "real desires" rather than providing spiritual support. The healing offered by religion, as Lacan satirizes in "The Triumph of Religion," is a betrayal of desire.

"But if we say something like 'we have to rely on ourselves' or 'be strong and everything will be alright'... they'll be disappointed."

Xilun sighed.

No, perhaps they will despair. Even the bishops have given up on God, so what do they have left to rely on to keep going?
Those who hold fast to their faith will inevitably bear the weight of the trust placed in them by the people.

Amidst their expectant yet gradually disillusioned gazes, Siron hesitated for a long time before finally managing a forced, fake smile: "The Lord has not abandoned you."

People smiled, as if things weren't so bad after all.

For some reason, Xiren thought of many of his patients.

One patient had claustrophobia because she grew up under the discipline and confinement of her family. She could not express her desires, and all her desires were restricted by "old sayings" and "family rules". She was afraid that the Other would devour her, so she manifested claustrophobia as a physical manifestation of it, fearing all narrow and dark spaces.

But once she cured her claustrophobia, she had to face the unbearable real pain. As a psychoanalyst, Xilen couldn't change the feudalistic ideas in her family, which were the root of everything.

Another patient has cuckoldry, which is a typical male hysteria. He deliberately maintains a state of failure and dissatisfaction, questioning an imagined Other, but the Other does not respond. The cause is usually wanting to be seen but not valued, being instilled with the idea that "you must do this or that to be loved", and major setbacks in his memory.

But once he cures this symptom, he will have to face all the anxiety and the scenes he least wants to recall, which may lead to even greater mental anguish.

From a psychological utilitarian perspective, these people are abnormal and need treatment because they have problems and are not qualified social cogs.

Perhaps the conclusion is just old platitudes about making peace with yourself, forgiving, and moving on, along with some medications like escitalopram or fluoxetine.

But for psychoanalysts, "symptoms" are a form of self-salvation; they mend the cracks and pain in the subject. Once the symptoms are removed, the subject may fall into deeper, more intractable pain.

He saw these suffering people—they worried about the effects of the apocalypse, about the destruction of the world, about the death of their loved ones, about their injuries, and about their bleak future.

What they need is not a "return to normal", but a "symptom".

Something that can mend their pain, explain things to them, and support their sense of self.

Faith is the greatest symptom of humanity's collective creation.

Since ancient times, when our ancestors were first awestruck by the power of nature, when they first felt the unsymbolizable reality in traumatic events, the symptom called "faith" emerged.

Siren stood up with a smile, holding a shepherd's staff like a shepherd: "God has not abandoned you; on the contrary, this is a test from God."

"God commands the church to establish shelters throughout the world, and then cold will cover the earth. Only true believers will be able to overcome all difficulties and reach the ark promised by God."

"It's 20 miles from here to Speyside, where the church has led its believers to build a huge shelter with warm boilers and fires, a safe harbor and houses, and a supply of bread and milk."

"And I—the new Bishop of Spesse—am responsible for leading the lambs who are still wandering outside to the land of the covenant."

He held a shepherd's staff, like a true shepherd.

(End of this chapter)