Hogwarts: This professor is too Muggle.

Chapter 23 Why are you always thinking about that stink bomb?
"Professor, what do you want to ask?"

"Put my affairs aside for now..."

Melvin glanced at the books spread out in front of them, then at the contents of his notebook. He said in a gentle voice, "What are you doing squatting here?"

"Discuss the difficulties encountered in alchemy."

"Why are you so obsessed with developing urine-stinking bombs?"

"Our dream is to open a magic show, like Zog's Joke Shop, where the stink bomb is their signature product..."

George and Fred took turns answering.

"So you're going to be a stink bomb."

"That's it!"

"How's it going?"

“There are new ideas.”

"Tell me about it." Melvin squatted down.

George and Fred felt strangely drawn closer to the professor, and out of some unfounded trust, the twins felt that the professor would not report them to Professor McGonagall.

George naturally let down his guard and explained their design plan. "Before, we were struggling with how to buy Muggle chemicals. Then we suddenly realized that the design idea of ​​the urine bomb is to disperse the urine-smelling substance through explosion. Ammonia and sodium metal are not irreplaceable. Many magical raw materials can also do the same."

Fred spread out their notebooks, pointed at the abstract stick figures on them, and said with a smug tone, "Ammonia can be replaced with dragon urine. My brother Charlie raises dragons in Romania and brought back half a bottle last summer. Professor, you may not have smelled that stuff up close. Just a sniff and the impact is like being hit by an erinaceus with all its might. You'll be stunned for half a day. It's definitely more terrible than ammonia.
"Sodium metal can be replaced with fiery fireworks, which have a large bloom area and can spread everywhere, and the explosion is harmless."

“It’s a very clever idea.”

Melvin approved of their idea, but only the ingenuity was worthy of praise: "However, from a product development perspective, your design is terrible. This urine bomb will definitely be a failure."

"Why!?"

George and Fred opened their eyes wide, unable to accept it for a moment.

"Muggle wisdom: designing a successful product requires a systematic balance of multiple factors, including user needs analysis, feasibility research, and market competition research..." Melvin looked at their increasingly bewildered expressions and waved his hand, "Forget it. You won't understand even if I tell you more. I'll analyze your design flaws from two perspectives.

"First, cost control. Dragon urine is typically used in herbal compost and as a deterrent to other animals in the wild. While it's not a rare magical ingredient, it's not cheap either, costing a few shillings per ounce. Meanwhile, Feliba fireworks are a mature product. How much would it cost to produce urine-stinking eggs using Feliba fireworks as raw material? If you were considering selling them, what would the price be? You should know that similar feces-stinking eggs on the market are priced similarly to Feliba fireworks.

"Secondly, consider the psychology of your audience. Your audience is primarily underage wizards, and you're making prank toys, not biological weapons. From what I've heard from your thoughts just now, you've taken this into consideration, and you've also considered the explosive power of the filibuster fireworks. However, you've neglected to consider the power of urine, which is powerful not only physiologically but also psychologically..."

George and Fred listened quietly to Professor Lewinter's lecture, their thoughts gradually becoming clearer, as if something that had been blocked in their brains for a long time had been cleared.

Melvin tapped their notebooks and spoke slowly, "Pranks and jokes are meant to make people happy. They're made with ammonia, and while they smell like urine, at least they're not real urine. Friends and classmates can just laugh it off, sweep it away with a whirlwind, clean it up, and then wave a wand and go back to playing happily.

“Is real urine okay?
"Imagine if you were actually splashed with urine. Would it be okay if you just used a spell to clean it up?

"I'm sure you'll still feel awkward. Even showering and changing clothes will make you uncomfortable. If you were the one being pranked, would you feel happy? Would the person planning the prank feel happy too?

"Moderate offense and teasing are jokes, but excessive and inappropriate offense is malicious bullying. Fecal stink bombs are acceptable because they don't contain actual feces. Similarly, urine stink bombs can't contain actual urine. Otherwise, what's the difference between your jokes and Peeves' cheap tricks?
"Are you the same as Peeves?"

George and Fred were taken aback, then quickly shook their heads. Although their design had been criticized and rejected by the professor, they didn't feel disappointed at all; instead, they felt a sense of sudden enlightenment.

In the past, they only performed pranks based on their hobbies and intuition. They dreamed of opening the most interesting joke and trick shop after graduation, realizing the wild ideas in their minds one by one and producing prank products that everyone would find interesting.

However, they were at a loss when it came to putting it into practice. They didn't dare to discuss it with parents and professors, and didn't know where to start. They had no specific ideas and no theoretical guidance. No one had ever told them the definition of pranks and jokes before.

The experience accumulated over the past few years has also caused them to think about the right measure, but no one has ever pointed it out so clearly - jokes should make both the teaser and the teased feel happy and interesting.

Professor Lewinter seemed to have lit a lamp for them, which dispelled the fog and pointed out a path.

"Product effectiveness is one thing, and audience psychology is another consideration." Melvin smiled. "As long as you understand, let's tear it down and redesign it."

Fred lowered his head and drew a cross in the upper right corner of the draft. George realized it belatedly and remembered the question at the beginning: "Professor, what did you want to ask us?"

"I'd like to ask about some prank products."

Melvin looked down at the product sheet from Zog's Joke Shop. "You guys are quite familiar with this area. Help me think of any prank products that can affect wizards, at least hinder their actions, and make them nervous without actually getting hurt. It would be best if they had some kind of frightening element."

"Hindering the action..."

"Scare element..."

George and Fred flipped open the product leaflet, leaned slightly sideways, and showed Melvin a picture and text introduction of the product.

“The main signature product is the fecal odor bomb, which explodes slightly and releases the fecal odor, with the intensity of the smell being optional;
“A hot-selling classic, the Snuff Box Biter, where you touch the box and bite the victim’s nose hard;
"Back to school special offer, difficult to pull fireworks, automatically explode when in contact with water, cannot be extinguished by conventional spells, fireworks will turn into the shape of fire dragons, colorful phoenixes, etc.

"A rare and good thing, the clown box. When you open it, a hook punch pops out..."

"..."

Even after turning the last page, Melvin still didn't see any satisfactory products: "The joke is too strong and too classic. Anyone who knows Zog's Joke Shop will understand it immediately."

“That just goes to show how good these products are.”

"I believe you will produce better works in the future. I'd better ask the professors about the current problem." Melvin shook his head and turned to leave.

"Goodbye Professor."

George and Fred watched the professor walk away and whispered to each other:
"The effect the professor wants might be those cursed dark magic items."

"Dark magic items can really hurt people. They're probably old and damaged."

"Like the ghouls upstairs in our Burrow."

"..."

Melvin looked thoughtful as he heard the subsequent discussions.

(End of this chapter)