Nirvana Top Laner, Reborn Tokyo Girl

Chapter 230, Section 227: A Shocking Reconciliation

Originally, Shimamura Yuna wanted to provide commentary on the EWC matches.

After all, he got to rest, but his former teammates didn't.

We just won the MSI championship together. Even if I don't play in the next tournament, I can at least watch the games, right?
But after thinking about it, she gave up.

The main reason is fear of pacing.

After all, he had just left the team and was now watching his former team play.
Whatever the outcome, it will be interpreted.

If the CFO wins, someone will say something like, "Shimamura-san saw the CFO win against EWC and realized that it doesn't matter whether she's there or not."

If the CFO loses, then the atmosphere will return to normal. Someone commented, "Shimamura watched the CFO lose to EWC and realized that she really can't do without him, so she started to chuckle."

Regardless of winning or losing, this matter will have its own rhythm.

Netizens often have many unfounded speculations about interpersonal relationships and conflicts within teams. They tend to imagine normal interactions as dramatic palace intrigues.

There will always be people who think that Shimamura Yuna is hoping for her former teammates to die after leaving the team.

Even a normal person would know that Shimamura Yuna was not that shady, and that she had no conflict with her teammates at all.

However, once you start broadcasting, all your reactions will be interpreted.

Every smile, every reaction of one's own is over-interpreted and labeled with all sorts of possible, but not real, 'possibilities' once it's broadcast live.

Therefore, to avoid such a thing, she chose not to do live streams.

Not to mention live streaming.

She doesn't even watch the game.

From the moment she decided to take a break, she put the game aside completely and wanted to rest for a while without thinking about it.

She was afraid that if she got into the flow of watching the live stream, she wouldn't be able to resist going online to play the game herself.

This gaming session has once again put me into a state of frantic practice, intense internal conflict, and constant self-destruction.

If that's the case, what's the point of choosing to rest?
Her idea was to start rehabilitation at least after August, and before that, she absolutely could not touch games.

So she chose to completely cut off contact.

Aside from occasionally logging on to see what updates are available or to check the latest news.
There were no ranked matches, let alone scrims.

On the internet, it can be said that we have entered a state of complete disconnection and cannot be found at all.

I originally wanted to go see Akari Kujo, but Akari Kujo won't be off until July 28th.

Although it seems that the school summer vacation will start around July 20th, Akari Kujo seems to have some extra arrangements for her studies.

In layman's terms, it's basically tutoring.

Since Akari Kujo is not around for the time being, Yuna Shimamura's life seems to have returned to the state she was in before she went to play professionally.

The main theme is doing nothing.

Her daily life became very simple.

During the day, I just lie at home alone, watching cartoons and reading novels. When I get tired of watching, I relax my mind by watching game live streams.

I watch all kinds of live streams.

Street Fighter, Valorant, Apex Legends
But I just don't watch League of Legends.

When her older sister comes home in the evening, she prepares a lot of dinner for her.

Chikuzen-ni (simmered rice), omelet rice, curry rice, and tonkatsu (fried pork cutlet) rice.
They are all quite ordinary home-style dishes.

At the same time, these are all dishes from the family restaurant run by the Shimamura family in the past.

The reason for doing these things is partly to improve my cooking skills and gain more life experience.

On the other hand, it's also about making peace with your past self.
Shimamura Yuna has always felt one thing.

Although I am now a time traveler in theory, it is not that "the soul that came from another place has completely taken over the body".

It's more like two souls merging into one; the experiences and emotions of two people, after being integrated, become the experiences and emotions of one person.

Furthermore, the original soul of Shimamura Yuna has not completely disappeared.

She kept it hidden in her heart.

They simply relinquished control over their bodies and made a passive choice.

Only occasionally, from time to time, she would express her emotions through her body because of her feelings about certain things in the outside world.

This prompted a reaction from Shimamura Yuna.
Whether you cry, feel sad, or feel depressed and uneasy, it's all good.

These are all other souls within the body, reacting to what is happening in reality.

What makes one person happy may not make another person happy.

When you want to pull yourself together, another part of your soul may still want to escape.

Because the two souls cannot reach a consensus on their goals and mindsets, she sometimes feels that her mental state is somewhat unstable.

of course
Sometimes, Shimamura Yuna also felt that it was quite absurd to have such thoughts.

After all, the idea of ​​two souls sounds too far-fetched.

She sometimes feels that things aren't actually that complicated.

Perhaps it's just a simple conflict in the underlying code.

Two sets of memories contain two personalities, and the conflicting aspects between these two personalities sometimes make Shimamura Yuna seem like she has a split personality.

Of course, whether it's one body with two souls or simply a split personality, the outcome is actually quite similar.

It is you who faces life and the future with a positive attitude.

I'm the one who's negative, depressed, and always crying.

Objectively speaking, she is such a complex person.

So she'll just pretend it's true.

Regardless of the fundamental nature of this problem, it may be a pathological form of schizophrenia, or it may be a more metaphysical concept of two souls in one body.

Regardless of the underlying principles, based on the outward manifestations she ultimately experienced, she considered it as another soul within her body objectively existing.

She has been earnestly interacting with that other soul, whose existence she doesn't know if it's real or not.

She is trying to reconcile with some of her past experiences, carrying with her the memories and emotions of that part of her soul.
This includes some things related to family restaurants.

For a long time, Shimamura Yuna was afraid to think about anything related to her parents.

Whether it's because of a fear of cars stemming from a car accident or...
It's because my parents used to run a family restaurant, so I'm very afraid of the food they make there.

Previously, the Shimamura family restaurant mainly served Japanese-Western cuisine.

Things like hamburger patties, croquettes, and curry rice.
As someone with a childlike appetite, Shimamura Yuna naturally loved eating these things.

Who doesn't like it?
Many of them are carbohydrates and fried food, and it's not surprising that they're seasoned; they're just sweet, soft, and savory.

This piece has a really good flavor.

But after her parents passed away, she became somewhat sensitive to several dishes that the family restaurant used to serve. Curry rice and omelet rice, in particular, would bring her to tears whenever she saw them.

In the two months following the incident, she even went on a hunger strike.

Later, perhaps because it's really hard to avoid these things when eating in Japan, I gradually accepted it.

Even so, her acceptance level was actually limited to convenience store curry and convenience store hamburger patties.

In the area of ​​prepared meals and industrialized food.

If the food is too delicious and the seasoning method is too similar to the family restaurant her parents used to run, she will still have very bad memories.

Therefore, in order to take care of her feelings, her sister would be more careful when buying meals for a long time, and would avoid buying dishes that tasted too similar to what her parents used to make.

As time has passed, Shimamura Yuna is no longer so sensitive to this issue.

It should be said that before the other soul transmigrated, the original Shimamura Yuna was already somewhat desensitized to this.

Only very occasionally, when I eat a dish that is too delicious and tastes very similar to what I've had before, I still get emotional and cry a little.

But nothing more.

Now, what she wants is to completely eliminate the last remaining barrier and psychological obstacle.

Therefore, she chose to pick up her old recipes again.

Before she passed away, the mother was very proud of her cooking skills and wanted to pass on her recipes to her two daughters.

She would always proudly explain some of the details of her cooking to the Shimamura sisters when she was cooking.

She even wrote all of these things down in a notebook, which contained her own 'complete cookbook' with cute illustrations and text.

In her eyes, these things were her treasures.

In the past, Shimamura Yuna never paid much attention to this.

'Cooking is something I don't need to do.'

'Anyway, Mom can cook, so I just need to eat what she makes.'

That's right, my cooking skills will never be as good as my mother's.

In this regard, one's own parents are always the most authoritative.

If that's the case, there's no need to learn or understand it.

Moreover, having grown up eating her parents' cooking every day, she didn't find these everyday Japanese-style dishes anything special; she just thought they were ordinary.

There's no need to learn something you absolutely have to be motivated to learn how to cook.

Of course, to put it bluntly, these are all excuses for their laziness and lack of interest.

But at least at that time, these ideas gave her a reason not to get involved in cooking.

But after her mother passed away, she realized that these flavors, which she had previously considered 'ordinary, boring, and something she was tired of eating every day,' were not as simple as she had imagined.

Even the most ordinary things, like precious treasures, are sometimes not readily available.

So she dug out that long-forgotten notebook with its yellowed pages, wanting to follow each of her mother's recipes and recreate them one by one.

But when she tried to do so, she found herself encountering many difficulties.

Even with a recipe and following it step by step, I still can't figure it out.
Because Mom's recipes weren't actually written in great detail; they were more like a stream of consciousness.

Just tell me what needs to be put in and roughly when.

How much to add and how long to cook
These are all left unmentioned.

All of them use vague and unclear expressions such as "add appropriate amount of salt and sugar" and "take it out when it is cooked to the right consistency".

Rather than specifying exact dosages, my mother was more interested in drawing cute example illustrations in her notebook.

They're all in a cute, chibi style, with pictures of the cooking process and the finished product, and even a cute little cat acting as the chef.

Yuna Shimamura couldn't help but complain: 'Dear Mom, instead of drawing these things in such detail, why didn't you write out the process in more detail?'

However, she quickly understood why.

She probably never imagined she'd need to use such detailed ingredients.

Yes.

In fact, the mother at the time believed that if her daughter was really interested in learning how to cook, she would definitely come to her for advice.

Then, she will personally teach you the specific details of the materials used.

Rather than trying to record anything in a proper way, this notebook was more of a means for the mother to make herself feel self-satisfied.

This is how you make your abilities tangible.

In this way, unquantifiable personal skills can be transformed into a tangible and substantial sense of accomplishment.

Whenever she sees this notebook, she feels that all her hard work has been valuable and meaningful.

This is the true purpose of this notebook.

Rather than a martial arts manual or a timeless treasure.
She certainly never imagined that one day her daughter would need this notebook to recall how she cooked.

Thinking about this, Shimamura Yuna felt somewhat sad, and her emotional stability began to decline noticeably again.

This feeling of not being able to control her emotions left her feeling helpless.

She sighed.

"I know you're sad, but things always pass, don't they?"

She wiped away her tears and muttered to herself.

"We are here to solve problems."

I'm doing this so that we can move forward together.

"Crying and being sad won't change anything."

We need to move forward. Forward.

Ultimately, through Shimamura Yuna's own efforts, her emotions were finally calmed down, albeit with some difficulty.

Later, Shimamura Yuna found a way to recreate her mother's cooking.

It's actually not that complicated.

Just ask your older sister, that's all.
Although my older sister looks like a typical office worker now, she seems completely unrelated to cooking.

But actually, back then, my older sister was slightly more serious about cooking than I was.

She often helps her parents in the kitchen when they are cooking.

To say that she does things as well as her parents would be an overstatement.

But at least she knew the approximate amounts of seasonings and cooking times.

With her older sister's help, she gradually tried to recreate the dishes her father and mother used to make, and in this way, she attempted to reconcile with herself.
(End of this chapter)