American Hunting: Starting with Solitary Life in the Wilderness

Chapter 45 The Psychological State of Crisis

(P.S.: There's another chapter after this one. This chapter might be a bit heavy; feel free to skip it if you don't like it. Please don't criticize.)
Lin Yu'an huddled by the stove, the flickering firelight casting a long shadow on the rough stone wall.

He felt something was wrong with his body; a chill seeped from his bones, his forehead began to burn, and his temples throbbed with a dull, throbbing pain.

"Damn it... Could it be that I caught a fever from being caught in the rain yesterday?" Lin Yu'an cursed inwardly.

His heart sank. He reached out and touched his forehead with the back of his hand. Sure enough, it was burning hot, but he dared not show any sign of having a fever in front of the camera.

Lin Yu'an struggled to get up and walked to a place away from the cameras outside the shelter. He rummaged through the first aid kit in the space and found a small strip of antipyretics and anti-inflammatory drugs.

The bitter taste of the pill spread in his mouth, just like his mood at that moment.

"I absolutely cannot stop here! Never!"

He muttered to himself, his voice hoarse and low due to the fever, almost inaudible.

An unprecedented sense of frustration overwhelmed him like a tidal wave. The physical discomfort, coupled with the blow of the destroyed gillnet, plunged his emotions into despair.

He thought of Arya, who was far away in Austin, of their unborn child whom they had never met, and of the bold words he had made when he entered the competition.

Now, however, he is like a wounded and trapped beast, confined to this tiny stone house, unable to even guarantee the most basic food, and even his own body is beginning to have problems.

Lin Yu'an picked up the destroyed barbed wire net, tangled with water plants and mud. The net was broken and looked like a pile of worthless trash! He irritably threw it aside with a dull "smack".

"Even you're going against me!"

He let out a low growl, his eyes bloodshot!
I just sat there, letting negative emotions fester and spread in my heart.

Time passed second by second, and the air inside the shelter seemed to freeze, so oppressive that it was hard to breathe.

"Are we really... just giving up like this?"

When people are enveloped in negative emotions, they will unconsciously start to reminisce. Lin Yu'an thought of his childhood.

He suddenly turned to the camera, or perhaps to himself, and said, "Guys, you know what? When I was a kid... I actually had a pretty tough time."

I picked up a broken network cable and unconsciously twirled it between my fingers.

“I…I was abducted. I can’t remember exactly how I was abducted, I only know that I have been living in my current family since I can remember.”

“The family was alright to me at first, but everything changed after they had a boy, my so-called ‘brother’.”

A bitter smile appeared on his lips.

“From the age of ten, they kept instilling in me the idea that I should think about my younger brother, that I should give in to my younger brother, that I should take care of my younger brother… I became a veritable servant in that family.”

"Washing clothes, cooking, feeding pigs, doing farm work... all the jobs that I could or couldn't do at my age fell on my shoulders."

“The man who bought me was an alcoholic who would beat people when he was drunk. That woman, and me, were both targets of his venting.”

“The bruises and welts on my body have been there almost non-stop. It wasn’t until later, after that woman had been abused for several years, that he finally gave birth to a son, and then he stopped a little.”

"Later, their farmland was demolished for the construction of a highway, and they received a sum of money, so the whole family moved into the city."

“At that time, I was already thirteen years old and was left alone in the old house in the countryside. For me, this period was the happiest time of my life because I didn’t have to work and could go to school in town.”

He paused, a warm glint in his eyes.

"My first benefactor was my junior high school principal. He was the first person I asked for help. At that time, I already had a vague idea that I might not be their biological child."

"While that woman was fast asleep, I secretly plucked a hair from her head, wrapped it in paper, and hid it."

“One day, I mustered all my courage and found Principal Li. I will always remember the look of shock and heartache in his eyes. He didn’t make a fuss, but secretly paid for a paternity test for me out of his own pocket.”

"The result is just as I guessed. I am indeed not their biological child."

"I am very fortunate to have met a teacher who truly educates and nurtures students. Principal Li did not immediately help me call the police or search for my biological parents. He had a very profound conversation with me."

“He said that I am still young and not mature enough. If I rashly search for my biological parents, I may face many problems and harms that I cannot predict. Moreover, in the vast sea of ​​people, it is not so easy to find them in a short time.”

"The best way is to study hard first and make myself stronger. When I become an adult and have the ability to think and live independently, it will be more meaningful to find my roots."

"He arranged for me to live on campus, and on weekends I would stay at his house. The food his wife cooked was the warmest taste of my childhood memories."

“From junior high to high school, for a full six years, I hardly ever spent any money from my family on meals at school. It was the principal and his wife who quietly supported me.”

As Lin Yu-an spoke, a complex emotion flashed in her eyes as she looked at the camera, a mixture of gratitude and感慨 about fate. "I often think that although my childhood was full of misfortune, I must thank my biological parents for giving me a fairly intelligent mind and a strong body."

"It was these things that helped me get through the most difficult period of my childhood and adolescence, giving me the opportunity to learn and change my destiny."

He picked up the broken network cable and began trying to untangle the tangled ends.

"Like this tattered net, it looks useless, but as long as there's still a single good thread, there's still a possibility of repair, isn't there?"

Lin Yu'an's movements became focused, as if all the dejection and anxiety were being peeled away little by little in the process of narration and sorting out.

"My senior year of high school was another important turning point in my life, and also a very painful memory."

"Just when I was preparing for the college entrance examination with all my might, Principal Li, who had always taken care of me like a father, passed away in a sudden car accident."

At this point, Lin Yu'an's voice visibly choked up. He lowered his head, remained silent for a moment, and then continued.

"This was a huge blow to me. I was on the verge of a breakdown during that time."

“I promised him that I would get into his alma mater, Tsinghua University, and become his classmate… But because of his departure, my emotions have been greatly affected.”

"I usually score over 700 points in mock tests, but in the final college entrance exam, I only scored over 680 points."

"I'm sorry, Principal Li, I failed to keep our promise..."

I took a deep breath, wiped the corner of my eye with the back of my hand, and tried to calm myself down.

"During the college entrance examination period, the first thing I did was to call the police that the person who bought me was a child trafficker!"

"During the college entrance examination period, all candidates' affairs are given high priority, which is a great opportunity. The local officials in charge of hats were very helpful, quickly intervened in the investigation, and clarified the facts."

"It turns out that when they bought me back then, they finally settled on a price of five thousand yuan."

"The police collected my DNA and entered it into the national missing persons database. They told me that they would notify me as soon as a match was found."

"Later, I registered my own household and left that so-called 'home.' Following my teacher's wife's advice, I applied to Texas Tech University and was fortunate enough to receive a full scholarship, which brought me to the United States."

He raised his head, looked at the camera, and his eyes showed a hint of relief and longing for the future.

"Then... I met Arya. She was like a ray of light, illuminating my once dark life. We fell in love, got married, and now we're expecting twins."

"This is also the most important reason why I went to great lengths to participate in 'Living Alone in the Wilderness'."

His voice became firm and powerful as he began!
“A million dollars would provide so much security for our future. How could I give it up so easily?”

After he finished speaking, he looked down at the network cables in his hands that he was straightening out little by little.

"Therefore, my journey of challenges is like life itself, and like this net. It's not time to give up completely yet! No matter how great the difficulties I encounter, I must not give up easily!"

Lin Yu-an's state of mind, in the process of recalling and recounting, also seemed to have undergone a baptism.

The initial despondency and despair gradually dissipated, replaced by a calm and resilience that came after enduring hardship.

He began to patiently repair the fishing net, which seemed to have no need for further repair.

Every movement was so focused, as if he was repairing not just a net, but also his own indomitable life.

I still want to write something deeper.

I checked the author's profile and found that the main readers of this book are aged 27-49.

Like the author's age, people in middle age will inevitably think of people or things from their youth from time to time.

It could be your junior high classmate, your first love, an embarrassing childhood memory, someone you had a crush on, or something similar.
In short, what I'm trying to say is that the protagonist is very patriotic and not a "banana" (meaning someone who is culturally Westernized but actually patriotic).

The protagonist's growth storyline is about someone I want to commemorate.

She was truly beautiful and outstanding, and spent her entire life fighting against fate. Unfortunately, heaven was jealous of her beauty.

Alas, she never found her biological parents before she passed away.

I hope that her unfinished life can continue in another form in this world.

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(End of this chapter)