EVA: Shinji Ikari Returns from Tiga

Chapter 87 You are yourself, idiot! [Fourth update today 1150010000]

"Suzuhara..."

Shinji Ikari saw two halos of light hidden deep in Suzuhara Touji's right eye...one red and one blue.

You can even see the blood vessels crawling and pulsating on Suzuhara Touji's cheeks, as if they were alive.

Is that a blood vessel...? Or is it some kind of invader disguised as a blood vessel... that has already deeply embedded itself into Suzuhara Touji's body?
“…That’s not good.”

Nagisa Kaworu also came over and looked at Suzuhara Touji's face carefully... and shook his head slightly.

From his point of view, Li Lin, whose inner self has been polluted to such an extent, is beyond salvation... Li Lin's inner self is inherently fragile... That's why they can't understand each other, why they reject each other... and hurt each other.

"Hey! Shinji-kun...!?"

Then… Nagisa Kaworu actually saw Ikari Shinji slowly stretch out his hand towards Suzuhara without hesitation——

"Danger…!"

Nagisa Kaworu tried to stop him, but was dismissed by Shinji Ikari with just a look.

That look—a look filled with pride… seemed to be speaking to Nagisa Kaworu, who had already sentenced Suzuhara Touji to death…

——Don’t underestimate humans!
“…Why don’t you transform…!?”

Even though Nagisa Kaworu was persuaded to retreat with a look from Shinji Ikari and stopped trying to stop him... he still raised questions in confusion.

After all, if he transforms into the giant of light that no apostle can resist...it will be easy to eliminate the remaining thorns in Suzuhara Touji's body.

But——Ikari Shinji didn't do that... Instead, he held Suzuhara Touji's hand as a human.

"A stupid question—because Ultraman isn't a reliance on humanity, but a response to the human heart...! Unfortunately, if it were you... you might not understand."

The moment they were poked - those foreign objects disguised as blood vessels... instantly invaded Ikari Shinji's body from Suzuhara Touji's hand.

My ears started to ring...my vision started to blur...

When I regained consciousness, it was as if I were immersed in a cold and deep ocean.

The difference is... I am standing at the edge of the sea, and the figure in front of me... the figure of Suzuhara Touji, who is surrounded by red and blue haze - is walking step by step... towards the deep seabed.

“…Where are you going!! Suzuhara Touji!!”

Shinji Ikari's words were tinged with a rare hint of anger... because he believed that Suzuhara Touji could show the human spirit of fighting to the end, but -

Under the influence of the apostle... when the two were connected... Shinji Ikari found that Suzuhara Touji's mental strength was unexpectedly weak.

It wasn't just that his fighting power was crushed, but rather that Suzuhara Touji's inner strength had vanished.

The true doom of humanity...is when humanity gives up the fight.

You...are you actually giving up?! Suzuhara Touji!!
"...Shinji, sir..."

Hearing the roar behind him... Suzuhara Touji, half of his body submerged in the deep crimson sea, slowly turned around...

One eye was covered in blue mud, and the remaining eye...exuded fatigue and guilt.

"……Why?"

Suppressing his anger... Ikari Shinji asked coldly.

He quietly waited for Suzuhara Touji's answer - why should he stop here... If he did not resist, even the remaining one in ten remnants of the apostles purified by the light of Tiga... could easily occupy Suzuhara Touji's heart.

"Because, I... have caused trouble for you, Mr. Shinji again - haven't I?"

Suzuhara Touji's voice was filled with cowardice, fear and guilt... It turned out that he could see everything that was happening outside.

"I became a pilot because I wanted to help you, Shinji-san... but in the end, not only could I not even start Unit 03, I was even corrupted by the Angel... and became the culprit who harmed you, Shinji-san. I can't possibly be you!!"

Suzuhara Touji's voice trembled... With each silent cry... he sank deeper into the crimson ocean...

"I can't do anything right... I can't do anything—I've even turned into a monster like this! I can't even go back to my normal life! I'm no longer human inside! I'm so scared... Mr. Shinji! I'm so scared... I'm so scared of being treated like a monster! I'm also scared of the monitor, Sakura... looking at me like I'm a monster!!"

It was no longer a silent cry, but real tears... and his right eye was still covered by the blue remnants of the apostles, so that he could not shed tears at all, and could only drip disgusting blue sticky substances.

"If I just go back like this—and let everyone treat me like a monster... I might as well just, just... just disappear right here—!!!"

“……………………Is that so.”

After listening to Suzuhara Touji's tearful rant... Ikari Shinji remained silent for a long moment... before letting out a long, calming sigh. The anger he'd previously harbored had completely subsided.

"...Shinji, sir?" "So, Suzuhara, are you giving up?"

"...!"

I originally thought that Shinji Ikari would scold me or try to keep me... Unexpectedly, Shinji Ikari just asked calmly.

"I understand... Suzuhara, I understand the suffering you're describing... If you want to end it here, I won't stop you. As I said before... The only one who can make the decision is you. If you choose to drown in this sea of ​​scarlet, I won't stop you. But..."

With a bang, Shinji Ikari smashed something hard on Suzuhara Touji's head.

Rice, sausages, meat, and the already cold soup...sprinkled all over Suzuhara's body and floated in the bright red sea.

The thing thrown out was the lunch box from Dong Mu Guang...

"This is…"

"This, the squad leader made this for you. Even when she was caught in the D4's blast just now... blowing her slender body several meters away... her first reaction was to hug her schoolbag tightly... because there was a lunch box made for you inside."

"…………!!!"

"And… this."

With a light throw, the wrinkled Tiga necklace drawn on cardboard... with crooked lines... was also thrown by Shinji Ikari in front of Suzuhara Touji.

"Sakura, I've held this tightly and prayed countless times, hoping to see you again... to talk to you again."

"...Sakura..."

Suzuhara Touji's expression began to waver... and as a symbol, the once calm crimson deep sea also began to surge.

"...What I'm going to do is just this—if you...really think those two will reject and despise you just because you've turned into a monster. If you really think...I was born this way, never having experienced any setbacks, that they'll hate you for your failures—if you've been so distrustful of your friends, your lover, and your family for so long."

Shinji Ikari turned his head away, having already said what he was about to say.

"...Then, just drown yourself. Drown in this false peace. I won't stop you, I won't hold you back. And I won't... offer you a hand—well, if you want to stand up again! You can only rely on your own strength."

Having said that... Shinji Ikari really stopped paying attention to Suzuhara Touji and walked towards the opposite direction of the sea.

"Mr. Shinji...!!"

I heard Suzuhara's roar...but, the domineering aura and will that had completely disappeared seemed to have recovered a little.

"…Anything else?"

Shinji Ikari's voice was calm and even... He wouldn't force someone who had lost the will to fight to stand up - if someone wanted to stand up, they had to rely on their own heart.

"…Really… the same as me?"

"…What?"

"In the beginning, were you really just as useless as me?"

"what…"

Ikari Shinji smiled and answered proudly.

“How is it possible——”

"?!"

"In the beginning, I was even more cowardly than you, more useless than you, and even more disgusting than you... Now, what you see before you is nothing more than the person who has finally grown up after countless awakenings and willpower."

Yes - Suzuhara Touji has already shown his courage... and the original Ikari Shinji was far inferior to him now.

"Really... can I? If I keep working hard, can I really... become someone like you?"

"……Fool."

Seeing Suzuhara Touji crying and acting like a spoiled child, Ikari Shinji responded with a smile.

"How could it be me... You, you are yourself. Idiot."

"!!!"

In an instant... the apostle occupying Suzuhara Touji's right eye... disappeared without a trace.

The sea, as crimson as blood, suddenly returned to its clear and azure color!
(End of this chapter)