EVA: Shinji Ikari Returns from Tiga

Chapter 19 Di-Ga-!
Chapter 19 Di-Ga-!
When I came to my senses, I was sitting on an empty tram.

The dim setting sun shines through the broken glass windows, casting a touch of sadness and vicissitudes on the silent carriage.

"…Why, fight?"

Hearing the tearful question, Ikari Shinji raised his head and looked at the boy sitting opposite him.

Wearing the same white shirt as his own, and having the same short black hair as his own, Shinji Ikari could feel... the person sitting opposite him was undoubtedly Shinji Ikari.

However, the only difference between him and himself was... he had earphones on his ears, and an old-fashioned Walkman was playing the same music over and over again.

Curled up, huddled into a ball, buried his head in his arms, hiding his expression.

Wearing headphones, using monotonous and numb music to isolate oneself from the outside world, as if isolating oneself from the world.

"...Why do you have to fight again and again... You only need to transform. Leave everything to Him, and everything will be solved... Why do you have to do it again and again... and make yourself suffer so much... Obviously, no one is counting on you..."

"Ikari Shinji"'s voice was one of confusion and resentment.

I don't understand why Shinji Ikari hurts himself again and again in tough battles, and I blame him for choosing to embark on this path that is destined to lead to pain.

“…Ah, so that’s how it is.”

Shinji Ikari looked at the "Shinji Ikari" in front of him... There was no basis or reason, but he knew his identity without a doubt.

He is himself——

If I hadn't experienced all this with the Victory Team and with Tiga...

If it were me before everything happened, I would be suddenly called by my father, and without even a word of kindness, I would be forced to ride in Unit-01 to fight the Angels. I would have been on the verge of death several times.

My appearance... would be so humble, so cowardly, so numb... As if escaping from everything in the world, I would close my heart, curl up in a corner, and use the old music to block out all the sounds from the outside world.

"So this is the innermost part of my consciousness, Shinji Ikari. It's even more desolate than I imagined..."

Once you realize the other person's identity, you will realize your current situation.

...My last memory was probably the failed attempt to subjugate the Sixth Angel, and then I lost consciousness... Is that so? After losing consciousness, I fell here.

Shinji Ikari looked at the surrounding plants and trees curiously with a childlike joyful smile.

The deserted, dilapidated tram was heading towards a place that would never arrive, casting a sad dim light and the scenery outside the window repeating endlessly.

Alone, refusing to interact with anyone, numbly repeating this meaningless journey that never ends...

Really, although I have a basic understanding... it is really sad to see with my own eyes how decadent my past self was.

"Then, goodbye."

He waved at "Ikari Shinji", and Ikari Shinji didn't hesitate and kicked the door of the speeding train roughly.

With a dull thud, the already old tram door was kicked off the train and instantly disappeared from view...

"Why!"

As if not expecting such rude behavior from Shinji Ikari, "Shinji Ikari" suddenly raised his head and stared at Shinji Ikari with his tear-filled eyes.

"Mingming... why are you making yourself so miserable! We just need to stay here... Yes, it's safe here... As long as we're here, no one will hurt us... Mom, Mom... Mom will protect us!"

As "Ikari Shinji" cried, the roof of the train collapsed... The huge Unit-01 seemed to poke its head out from the clouds, looking at the two Ikari Shinjis.

“Mom, Mom…?…Haha…So, that’s how it is…”

Looking at the crying "Ikari Shinji", and then looking at Unit-01 watching over Shinji Ikari from afar... Shinji Ikari gave a bitter smile of relief.

Why, when piloting Unit-01, I felt such bitterness and pain... I finally found the reason.

As the cowardly Shinji Ikari cried, the distant Unit-01 [Ikari Yui] also roared... The sky instantly turned from dim yellow to blood red... Just like the time of the Second Impact.

This world is witnessing Shinji Ikari's past, testing Shinji Ikari's present, and at the same time... it is also determining Shinji Ikari's future.

If I wasn't strong enough now, unable to overcome my past cowardice and isolation... this world of consciousness would completely go haywire, and so would the chance-01 outside—until the Third Impact. "That won't work."

Facing the sadness that surged like a raging storm, Shinji Ikari faced all the despair head-on with a strong and confident smile.

"To let passion run wild, to unleash unbridled emotion... to abandon human thought and strength, to entrust everything to Ultraman or EVA... to place one's hopes for the future and destiny on a savior other than humanity—this is not acceptable."

Reveal one's true feelings - every word and every sentence is a suppression and reconstruction of this world that is on the verge of collapse.

"You just asked me why I chose a path filled with pain... Wouldn't it be better to entrust everything to Him? This is my answer. As a human being, you must experience pain and despair, sadness and separation... before you can develop a passion for the future. Monotonous dependence and escape will not open up anything—"

The resolute soul engraved in the deepest part of the spirit effortlessly purifies the blood-red sky into the most blooming blue.

"——You may not understand now. I won't force you to understand this immediately, but..."

With a gentle smile, Shinji Ikari walked forward and gently took off "Shinji Ikari's" own headphones.

"But, let's start by listening to everyone's voice."

hum-

Thousands of voices, billions of thoughts, exploded the moment the headphones that blocked my heart were taken off.

——"97% of the residents of Tokyo-3 have been evacuated..."——

…That was a time of life and death crisis, and he still cared about the lives of the people and provided good governance.

——"Self-propelled artillery units, open fire! Divert the Angels' attention from Unit-01!"

…That is Misato Katsuragi, who is already scarred but still refuses to give up her final fight as a human being.

——"Commander! Please let me fight! I...I want to help Ikari-kun!"

...That was Rei Ayanami who volunteered even though her injury had not yet healed.

——"Idiot! Idiot second-generation official! You're still alive! You won't die so easily! Idiot!!!"

…That was Asuka, crying but still fighting by his side.

This cruel and unreasonable world is indeed so callous and full of holes... But there are always people who are full of hope for the future, recognize the essence of life and still love life and patch it up.

So - we can't let them down.

Can't betray yourself.

"This is why I won't stop—"

Then... I heard the child's call.

Di-ga-!
Di-Ga-!!!
Shinji Ikari smiled and said goodbye to his cowardly self.

"...Sorry, I can't talk to you anymore. Because...it's my turn!"

This most perfect and beautiful light rekindles the light in the heart, and reshapes the spark prism that has been dormant as a stubborn stone into its most holy appearance.

"You too, Mom... You can't appear in this story yet!"

He waved towards Unit-01 in the distance—

The appearance of EVA slowly disappeared in the shining of the magic wand.

Holding the spark prism high, it is a familiar yet strange, nostalgic yet novel posture and appearance.

"Diga!!!"

The light shines - a giant of light stands tall above the earth.

(End of this chapter)