EVA: Shinji Ikari Returns from Tiga

Chapter 189 Ikari-kun, do you miss your mother?

"...It's so narrow!"

The moment Asuka entered the cabin, she made a comment with a furrowed brow.

This is a small private plane that Shinji Ikari specially asked Kenzaki Kyoya to prepare... In order to avoid SEELE's eyes and ears as much as possible, it is naturally impossible to apply for a flight route normally.

As for whether it will be detected by the air defense system in Berlin, Germany, we can only hope that the intelligence agents who have infiltrated that side will take action.

In the worst-case scenario, he'd become Ultraman and land with the people on the plane... With Shinji Ikari around, he'd have a lot of guts.

"After you put your luggage away, take a nap. It should take about 10 hours to get there... Once you arrive in Berlin safely, nobody knows what will happen."

Shinji Ikari casually tossed his suitcase into a corner of the cabin and was about to sit in the innermost seat of the only row of seats... when Asuka grabbed him.

"Wait a minute! You idiot Shinji...! I want a seat by the window! Get outside!"

"...Are you a primary school student taking your first flight?"

Completely baffled by Asuka's incomprehensible demands, Shinji Ikari had no reason to argue with her over such a foolish matter, so he stood up and prepared to walk to the next row...

"Hey! Why are we going over there?! There are three seats right here!"

Then, Asuka grabbed him in a fit of anger and forced Shinji to sit in the middle... while Asuka and Rei Ayanami sat silently on either side of Shinji.

It turns out that my seat had already been arranged by these two little guys... Well, why didn't you say so earlier?

"..." "..."

However, neither Asuka nor Rei Ayanami were willing to speak frankly in such a place; they simply sat silently in their seats, leaving Shinji Ikari sandwiched in the middle.

As the plane slowly climbed, an awkward silence fell over the cabin.

Asuka rested her chin on her hand, gazing at the night sky... at the Third New Tokyo City, which was gradually turning into a tiny dot of light.

Rei Ayanami... seemed to have reverted to the state she had when Shinji Ikari first met her... that expressionless, doll-like indifference, devoid of any emotional fluctuation.

Tsk, no matter which side it is... they all seem to be waiting for me to strike up a conversation.

So... who should I talk to first?

If this were a game Shinji Ikari had played, a branching option that would affect the final ending might appear right now.

"Asuka."

"…………what?"

Asuka maintained her posture of gazing into the distance, but a hint of surprise flashed in her eyes... as if she also thought that Shinji Ikari would talk to Rei Ayanami first.

Are you scared?

"what!?"

That was a question filled with dissatisfaction and anger. Even now... this idiot Shinji is still asking me if I'm scared?

—You big idiot! How much do you look down on me?!

She turned around aggressively, ready to unleash her fury... but her head met Shinji Ikari's bright, clear eyes, which held only Shinji's concern for Asuka...

This refreshing stream instantly extinguished Asuka's anger, causing her cheeks to flush red... and her voice to drop several decibels uncontrollably.

"What are you afraid of...! Don't underestimate me! You idiot Shinji..."

"Because that's where you were born."

"...!"

Even though Asuka tried to maintain a calm expression, she couldn't help but tremble for a moment when Shinji Ikari pointed out the point she had been avoiding all along.

After all—as a mass-produced… Shikinami Asuka Langley… as a clone of Soryu, she didn’t know how many times she had been killed by herself in the NERV branch in Berlin… and how many times she had killed herself.

In that gloomy and dim petri dish... the dim yellow ceiling and the lingering smell of blood, entrails, and fat in her nasal cavity... were nightmares that Asuka could never completely forget, no matter how hard she tried to be strong.

"...We're going back there...back to the place where you were born."

"...Hehe, birth...or rather, manufacturing is a more appropriate word."

Asuka forcefully wiped away the cold sweat seeping from her temples... a self-deprecating bitter smile appeared on her face.

Only humans use the word "birth"... while someone like myself, a tool created to meet Shinji Ikari... should only be described as "created"...

"It hurts!"

Shinji Ikari suddenly raised his head and struck Asuka's forehead hard, physically knocking away all the negative thoughts in Asuka's mind.

"...I get angry when I have to emphasize the same thing over and over again... Asuka. Whether it's you or Rei... as long as you consider yourself human... you are human. We humans are justified by faith."

"Haha! What the hell, you idiot Shinji! Is this how justification by faith is used...?"

Although Asuka brushed the topic aside with a smile, what was hidden deep within that smile was undoubtedly her gratitude towards Shinji Ikari.

When even Asuka herself was about to give up on herself... it was this idiot who kept emphasizing... that she was just an ordinary human being... an ordinary, willful girl who could be found anywhere.

If it weren't for this guy constantly emphasizing and affirming me... I definitely wouldn't have made it this far.

"Thanks... but I still failed."

"Huh? What is that??"

Shinji Ikari frowned. This guy... why did he suddenly give himself a score??

"Ha! Trying to reason with a girl when she's feeling down... what an incredibly clueless, clueless guy like me would do that. It's only because I'm reasonable that I was persuaded by your unromantic words."

Asuka laughed... For a moment, Shinji Ikari couldn't tell whether she had truly overcome her deep-seated fear of NERV Berlin or was merely using flirting as a cover to make him forget his unease.

"Then what do you want me to do?"

"Shinji, you're being rude! You should think about these things yourself...! Don't let girls say them out loud! Like giving me a warm and passionate hug when I'm feeling anxious... or taking my lips when I say something discouraging..."

"Have you been reading anything weird lately... like shoujo manga or erotic novels?" "Urusai! Baka! It's because of this that people say you don't understand girls' feelings at all! You bastard!"

He responded with a loud thud, throwing a punch... Even though he had gone this far, he still couldn't create any atmosphere... It's all because of that jerk Shinji Ikari! He has absolutely no sense of romance!

"…………hehe."

However, just as Shinji Ikari and Asuka were happily exchanging pleasantries, they heard a clear, bell-like laugh coming from the side.

It's unclear when it started, but Rei Ayanami has been watching Shinji Ikari and Asuka, who are bickering, with gentle eyes.

The indifferent and cold expression she had just worn vanished, and she reverted once again to the Rei Ayanami that Shinji Ikari knew.

"Have you figured it out yet?"

Shinji Ikari spoke slowly... The reason he chose to talk to Asuka first was because Shinji sensed that Rei Ayanami probably had something she wanted to ask him.

However, because he hadn't figured out how to express his feelings yet, he hesitated to speak... In order to give Rei Ayanami more time to think, Shinji Ikari chose to talk to Asuka first.

"……!Um."

Upon hearing Shinji Ikari's question, a slight look of surprise flashed in Rei Ayanami's eyes... She hadn't expected that Shinji Ikari, this young man, could grasp even such a small emotional fluctuation in her heart so perfectly.

"Yes, I'm sorry to have kept you waiting... Ikari-kun."

"It's nothing—so, what do you want to ask me...?"

If Akika's problems are centered on Berlin NERV being her nightmare, and her unease is understandable, then Shinji Ikari has absolutely no idea what Rei Ayanami is struggling with.

"What I want to ask you is... Ikari-kun. What are you planning to do?"

"...Your question is too general. It's so broad that I don't know how to answer it."

Shinji Ikari's calm reply... but it was just a tacit understanding between Shinji and Ikari.

Shinji Ikari had already guessed what Rei Ayanami wanted to ask from her words... but he pretended not to understand, his purpose being to prevent Rei Ayanami from asking.

But—Rei Ayanami, who had already made up her mind, wouldn't let Shinji Ikari get away so easily.

"...King Ikari. What I want to know is...what are you going to do to your father? Do you really want to...kill Commander Ikari?"

"...Lingbo, in a way you're quite malicious... I clearly didn't want you to ask this question, but you still did."

After letting out a deep sigh, Shinji Ikari looked away... refusing to meet Rei Ayanami's eyes.

"To be honest, I don't know... First of all, I don't know what situation Gendo Ikari is in right now. After all... you saw it before. When the Angel of Power attacked... Gendo Ikari had Kaworu Nagisa come and cause trouble... turning the Angel of Power into a chimera. This action is very different from Gendo Ikari's previous actions... when he was single-mindedly focused on reviving my mother... Yui Ikari's actions are very different. I suspect that Gendo Ikari has been controlled by a monster."

"...Kimi Ikari."

Seeing that Shinji Ikari's answer was a perfect, just-right response, a hint of disappointment flashed in Rei Ayanami's eyes. What she wanted to hear... was not this.

"Kimi Ikari, do you...miss your mother?"

"...!"

Upon hearing this question, not only Shinji Ikari, but even Asuka looked over with expectant eyes.

Because—a mother, a mom…is a special person to Asuka. It can be said that the pillar of Asuka's life in the first half of her life…is her mother.

Therefore, if Shinji Ikari were like her, she would be able to understand him more deeply… However—

"Do not."

Shinji Ikari shook his head firmly, giving a negative answer.

“I never missed her… No, I can’t say that. As a child, I would undoubtedly miss my mother, but… I was never attached to her. Mom, Yui Ikari… is someone who has passed away. And we are the living, the living… As the living, we should not and cannot be bound by the longing for the dead… That would be disrespectful to the deceased.”

"…………!"

Asuka gently clenched her teeth... For a moment, she didn't know whether Shinji Ikari was talking about himself or Asuka.

"...I think I've told you this before. I've always been focused on the present while fighting... to win the future. This is the biggest difference between me and my father, Gendo Ikari. He was obsessed with using the power of EVA, the power of the Angels, the power of Lilith and Adam... to reunite with his departed mother. I cannot accept such behavior."

"Why?!"

The one who raised the question wasn't Rei Ayanami, but Asuka, who was listening in...

Shinji Ikari shouldn't dislike Yui Ikari... So why does he harbor such aversion and resistance towards Gendo Ikari's resurrection of Yui?
"Because...because you'll be unhappy."

Seeing Asuka suddenly speak, Shinji Ikari grinned mischievously and fixed his gaze on her face.

"I?!?!?!?"

Asuka was completely bewildered. Why... was she suddenly involved?

"Because you also want to see your mother again... don't you?"

"of course!"

"And... Misato-neechan also wants to see her father again. Kaji-san, on the other hand, wants to see his younger brother, friends, and parents again..."

Shinji Ikari suddenly began to list the names of people who had lost their loved ones in countless calamities of the past.

"Whether it's you, Misato... or Mr. Kaji, do you feel any less longing for your loved ones than Gendo Ikari feels for my mother?"

"No, this...!"

That's certainly not the case.

When it comes to missing someone who has passed away... Asuka would never say that Gendo Ikari's longing for them surpasses her own.

"This is the answer—everyone longs to reunite with those who have passed away…but life is like that. It is precious because it is fragile. And Gendo Ikari's actions…are to bring back those who have passed away. If this were to succeed, it would be a defilement and blasphemy against all the pioneers who have given their lives so far!"

Shinji Ikari gave a resolute and unquestionable answer: it was Shinji Ikari's own creed!

"The dead cannot return. We must never dwell on the past! Humanity should only move towards the future!"

(End of this chapter)