Not a god

Chapter 79 Wanwan is a good child (on the shelf for first order)
When he was young, Chen Xi often thought about a question: what is the purpose of life?
When he was three years old, he attended his mother’s funeral. The sky was gray that day and his father said it was going to rain heavily. However, not a drop of rain fell after the funeral. The sky was simply gloomy.

He asked his father where his mother had gone. Assistant Chen would not lie to him. He said that his mother had passed away. Passed away means dead, and dead means gone, and will never come back.

He asked his father why his mother wanted to leave. This time his father said some romantic words, which roughly meant that his mother also wanted to stay, but had to leave.

He asked again, when did Dad leave? Assistant Chen said he didn't know, just like he said it would rain today, but it didn't, he couldn't say for sure, no one could say for sure about death.

Death is the liberation of the body, nothingness, and the inevitable result.

Since this outcome will eventually come, why do people live?

"Wow, Xixi can actually make her own milk powder."

"You can write your own name after just one lesson? You're only two years old!"

"Who changed Wanwan's diaper? Was it you, my husband? Or was it my cousin? Or maybe my sister-in-law helped change it... What the hell did Xiaoxi change?!"

When Chen Xi was a child, he was just as Jiang Wanwan saw him. He seemed omnipotent. He could easily get what he wanted and do what he wanted.

People who get things easily will not value them, and those who achieve things easily will not be happy when they succeed. So Chen Xi has always had a cold face since he was a child. Should I say cold face? He simply feels that nothing is interesting and doesn't know what is worth being happy about.

Bored, he simply felt that everything was too boring.

The adults were busy, the children were crying, and he stood there, feeling out of place.

Since everyone will bring about his own end, and since life is so boring, why are they making such a fuss?

Even the almost omnipotent little Chen Xi has problems that he can't figure out.

The answer to this question appeared only when he accidentally pushed the person who was his sister down the stairs.

He was criticized, criticized by adults. This was the first time Chen Xi heard criticism, but he didn't care. Or rather, something really worthy of his attention had appeared.

Hospital, he came to the hospital again. He hadn't felt the smell of the ward since his mother passed away. Now, there was a person lying on the bed, but that person was not his mother, but a timid little girl.

People are very fragile. If you don't eat, you will feel hungry. If you don't wear clothes, you will feel cold. If you bump into something, you will feel pain. If you are sick, you will feel uncomfortable. There is no need to rush into death. It is so easy to get hurt.

Of course Chen Xi knew her, the little girl who called him brother, cried every day, followed him around, talked to him, and liked to ask all kinds of innocent and boring questions.

She was lying on the hospital bed just like her mother had been, very weak, as if she would die if she wasn't careful.

He wanted to ask her if she knew why people live, but he knew without asking that this little girl couldn't possibly have the answer to this question, so he asked another question: "Does it hurt?"

"Hmm..." She nodded timidly: "It hurts..."

From then on, he noticed the little girl who had always followed him.

He wanted to know how she spent her days.

What's so fun about a boring Barbie doll? Why can we look at the ants on the ground for a whole day? Why is it so fun to hold a straight branch in our hands?
There are so many doubts. Little Chen Xi suddenly has so many doubts, many questions that no one can answer.

But he saw that she easily did what Chen Xi couldn't do, and the little girl smiled so happily.

She probably still couldn't answer what the meaning of her life was, but she seemed to live every day meaningfully.

For her, every day is meaningful.

Chen Xi thought she was amazing.

But he also knew that his sister was actually very stupid, and things that he could do easily were extremely difficult for her.

She is also very fragile. She will fall if she runs too fast, gets scared when there is thunder, and catches a cold when the weather is cold.

She will encounter many troubles and many problems in her life, and Chen Xi is very envious.

"Don't worry, brother is here." Chen Xi stood up and held her hand.

Compared to myself who can do anything easily, Wanwan is just a useless little thing who can't do anything.

He can solve various problems that Jiang Wanwan encounters in her growth process. It may be easy, or it may be tricky at times, but when he looks at the little girl with a beautiful smile, he truly feels the joy in it.

Don't worry, leave it to me. No matter what the problem is, leave it to me.

Wanwan is different from him, or rather, Wanwan is actually a normal child.

She learns things very slowly, and gets upset when she can't learn. She has a lot of things she wants, and gets frustrated when she can't get them. She is different from Chen Xi, she has a lot of "desires", but those "desires" are not so easy to satisfy.

If you are not satisfied, you will have expectations, you will be frustrated, sad, worried, and will cry.

"Let me help you."

Looking at this clumsy, cute little girl, he gently held her in his arms and comforted her:

"Whatever Wanwan can't do, I'll do it."

*
Chen Xi lay on the bed, opened his eyes and looked at the ceiling.

He suddenly remembered many things from his childhood. He was a cunning brother who stole his sister's suffering and all her hardships and took pleasure in them.

Unknowingly, Wanwan grew up under his care. Chen Xi protected her from the wind and rain, watered her and kept the insects away. He took great pains to take care of her, and finally she blossomed into an attractive flower with just the right color.

He liked the flower and enjoyed the process of taking care of it, and he thought it was good.

But it seems he was wrong.

Wanwan is an independent individual. She not only has various "desires", but also various things that she wants but cannot get.

At the same time, she also had a desire called "giving", which was Wanwan's deepest wish that had been ignored by him in the past.

I want to help my brother, make him happy, make him proud... I have such wishes.

But he ignored them all.

I used to be too self-righteous. I thought that as long as I gave her everything, I could make her happy. If she was happy, I would also be able to find the meaning of life.

It was his overprotection that made Wanwan always rely on him for everything. It was him who made her feel that as long as she asked for something, her expectations would be met.

This was probably the reason for the tragic ending in her previous life, and she has been living in regret ever since.

That's why she reacted so violently tonight when he ignored her request again.

There was a slight noise beside him. Chen Xi looked and saw that it was Wanwan who was half asleep and had stretched her arm out of the quilt.

Chen Xi smiled and put her arms back into the quilt. He vaguely heard the girl talking very softly in her sleep.

"Wanwan is a bad kid..."

A finger rested on her lips, stopping her from saying anything else.

He put his arm around the girl's shoulders, held her gently in his arms, and whispered to her in her dream:

"Wanwan is a good kid."

-

PS: 16,000 words, I have burned out, please give me a monthly ticket QAQ
(End of this chapter)