Mountains and rivers are waiting for you to return

Chapter 116: Ju Yan Extra - Long-lasting Love
"Before I was with Nell, I didn't even know what happiness was."

"When I was little, I only knew that my mother was a maid. She got pregnant unexpectedly, and was promoted to a concubine of the Marquis's mansion. But because I was born mute, she was looked down upon and mistreated. My father never entered her courtyard again. She lived a life worse than death every day, and passed on her pain to me when I was little."

"I was not allowed to do anything that would please my body and mind. Every day I was studying, practicing martial arts, and taking exams. If I counted them, the amount of beatings and scolding I received would be more than the grains of rice in my bowl."

The grandfather threw another stone, and a clear and pleasant sound rang out. He looked at the splashes on the lake and said indifferently, "She said that I was born with a disability and was born one step behind others. I can't slack off at all, otherwise I will never be able to make a breakthrough in my life. How can I make my father pay attention to her and love her again? She said that I have caused her to lose the life she wanted, and I should do my best to climb up for her."

The master chuckled, "My mother tried to use her obsession to control my life. So when she heard that practicing Huo Jiang Yin Gong could cure muteness, she didn't hesitate, and didn't care about my struggles or life and death. She asked my father to send me to Li Sanniang to become her apprentice that day."

"But five years later, when I returned from my studies, she had already died of tuberculosis."

"For the first 18 years of my life, I didn't understand what love was because I had never been loved by anyone. I never had motherly love, fatherly love, or anything that others could get at their fingertips."

He had also heard about the past of the master.

Gloom and pain, accompanied by insults and ridicule, were his normal state in childhood, but it became a sin just because he suffered from muteness.

When he was a little older, he was sent to Li Sanniang to practice the alchemy and divine qi yin skills. Every day, he was accompanied by snakes and insects, and was filled with poison.

Everyone knows that pain and torture are the foundation of Huo Jiangyin Gong.

But what people can imagine is less than one thousandth of what he has experienced.

The master recalled the past and said to him, "You followed me a long time ago. Do you remember how difficult it was for us to do things before my wife married me?"

How could he forget? "Remember, I passed the imperial examination, but because my wife was mentally ill, she was reported and not given an official position. My wife and children and I had nowhere to go in the capital, and you took us in. Although we made some plans at that time, we were repeatedly blocked, and it was almost hopeless for you to inherit the title."

The master seemed to think of his wife, and there was some light in his eyes, "Meeting her is the only luck in my first half of life."

When he mentioned his wife, his voice was slightly hoarse, "It is because of her favor that we have everything we have now. All the good things I experienced in the first half of my life were brought to me by her. Someone asked me about my joys and sorrows, and someone worried about my well-being."

"She took me through all the joyful things. She would caress my shoulders and neck if she thought I was tired, and would play chess with me if she thought I was bored. Someone would wait for me to eat together, and someone would keep the lights on until I went to bed."

What kind of deep love was that, and what kind of deep mark did it leave on my life? Ju Yan was filled with grief when he thought about it.

"The five years I spent with Li Sanniang made it impossible for me to turn off the lights at night, because I didn't know where the poisonous snake would bite. After she married me, I no longer woke up in the long night and could sleep in the dark without fear."

As the master spoke, his voice became a little hoarse, and his next words were like peeling off the skin and piercing the heart.

"When she first met me, she did not hide her feelings at all. She even stopped my carriage on the street, letting the whole Chaoyang City know her choice. If she had been less courageous, I would not have been able to have her. However, before she died, I had never expressed my feelings to her."

Ju's words felt like a thorn in his throat.

Ye suddenly asked him again: "Ju Yan, do you also think that I don't love her?"

He could only answer truthfully: "Before my wife passed away, I thought the same as everyone else."

The master's voice became weak and almost inaudible. "I guess she thought so before she died."

Some regrets are destined to be irreparable throughout your life.

It seems calm on the surface, but it penetrates deeply into your bones.

Grandpa looked at the stone that sank to the bottom of the water and its reflection in the water. He didn't know if he was talking to himself or treating him as someone to confide in.

"I really want to play skipping stones with her again, I really want to watch her eat, I really want to listen to her talk, I really want to practice martial arts with her, I really want to hold her and sleep with her, I really want to tell her how I feel. I once had all of these, but I just didn't take them seriously." Grandpa looked up at the sky, his words filled with sorrow, "If I hear the truth in the morning, I can die in the evening. For me, if I can see her again, it doesn't matter if I die immediately."

The emperor grew up overnight, knew how to appoint the right people to the right positions, had broad vision and aspirations, and cultivated his own loyal ministers, gradually showing the demeanor of a wise ruler.

The former Third Prince no longer needed his great uncle and even had constant disputes and conflicts with him.

Ever since my wife passed away, I have been tired of the world and don't want to live anymore.

If his wife's remains had not been found and he had not been unable to be buried with her, he would have probably committed suicide long ago.

All his subordinates were worried and feared that day would come.

Therefore, when someone saw the flower girl Liu Nianxuan, who looked very similar to the lady, at Fengqi Tower, a brothel affiliated to Mingyue Tower, he immediately redeemed her and presented her to the master.

The master saw Liu Nianxuan's face for the first time at the banquet, and was about to call out Madam's name with trembling hands, but the next moment after seeing clearly, he took back the words.

After all, even Ju Yan could see at a glance how different the behavior and demeanor of the woman in front of him were from his wife.

The master did not bring Liu Nianxuan into the mansion, but sometimes when he missed his wife to the extreme, he would call her over, look at her from afar, and be stunned for a long time. When he saw her face, he missed his old friend.

I even bought the entire Mingyue Tower and gave it to Liu Nianxuan.

He had no other intention, he just hoped that Liu Nianxuan could be independent, have a face similar to his wife, and not suffer outside.

But she was the only woman who had been involved with the master since the lady's death. There were constant rumors outside, and people also respected her as Madam Xuanwu.

But even though people called her that, everyone knew that her name was very different from Madam Yingwu.

Even with the appearance of Liu Nianxuan, even though she had a similar face to the Madam, nothing had changed.

In the past two years, these subordinates have become increasingly terrified because the master is still sending people to search for the remains of his wife, and he even offered the Hunxi Whip as a reward for the Dengyun Heroes Conference to speed up the process and force Han Ruize to make concessions.

All these signs made them realize that the master must have had the idea of being free.

One day, Steward Li brought an official who came to visit the master on official business. After waiting for a long time, there was no pressure or response.

Butler Li was extremely panicked, thinking that the master had committed suicide. He rushed in, but saw the master sitting blankly on the floor of the Qian Gong Ba Bu bed, holding his wife's old clothes in his arms, without saying a word and without moving, as if the old clothes were his only warmth.

As the years passed, I no longer shed tears when I missed my wife, but became numb and absent-minded.

Over the years, whenever someone knocked on the door while they were in a meeting, I could clearly hear the footsteps first, but I always turned around to look. Everyone knew what he wanted to see.

But that person would never appear again, and would never knock on the door and gently remind him to eat again.

In a blink of an eye, it has been ten years.

Ten years ago, the master was mute and unable to speak, nor did he tell his wife his true feelings.

Ten years later, his every move tells people that his love is unspoken and lasts until death.

(End of this chapter)