I am a temporary worker in Jinyiwei, how did I become a powerful official?

Chapter 107: Bandit White Deer and Swill Shrimp ( words)
The 35th year of the Jiajing reign, the sixth day of the sixth lunar month.

Lin Shisan was sitting on the ground beside the Taiye Lake in the Western Garden, with a group of eunuchs sitting around him.

When he was a lieutenant in the elephant training school, he could do nothing all day. Now that he is a royal messenger, he can still do nothing when he has nothing to do.

In his spare time, he would sit with the eunuchs and chat.

Since Lin Shisan was well-informed and had a lot of stories in his mind, the greatest entertainment for the eunuchs in the Western Garden was to listen to Lin Shisan's bragging and nonsense.

Lin Shisan cracked two watermelon seeds and drank some almond tea to moisten his throat.

A teenage eunuch was impatient: "Master Thirteen, what story are you going to tell us today?"

Lin Shisan talked freely: "Today's story is about bandits. Although Liaodong is part of the Ming Dynasty, it is a foreign land. There are many bandits there."

"When bandits kidnap a hostage, they are not in a hurry to beat him, kill him, or ask for money. They will just take off their pants."

Xiao Huan asked anxiously, "Why did the bandit take off his pants?"

An older eunuch laughed and said, "You don't understand, little brat. The hostage they kidnapped must be a woman. They took off their pants so they can sleep with the woman!"

The eunuchs pretended to understand: "Yes, yes, yes!" "That's right!"

Lin Shisan said, "You are wrong! The bandit took off his pants not to sleep with the woman, but to jump into the river to catch a carp."

"After the bandits caught the carp, they would steam it, put it on a plate, and give it to the butcher to eat. How the butcher ate the fish was a matter of life and death."

"The hostage will first move his chopsticks towards the ribs of the fish. The bandits will beat him up and then let him go."

"The butcher should first put his chopsticks towards the fish's belly. The bandits will feed him well."

"If the victim opens the fish's gill cover first and eats the gill meat, he will not touch the fish anymore. The bandits will send him home immediately and give him some wild pheasants, hazel mushrooms and other wild delicacies as compensation."

The eunuchs were puzzled: "What's the logic behind this?"

Lin Shisan asked: "Want to know?"

All the eunuchs nodded.

Lin Shisan smiled and said, "If you want to know, you have to finish your work first. Today I have to cut the antlers and take the blood of the deer and send it to Yongshou Palace. Let's go to the deer room."

If Lin Shisan lived in the future and wrote articles for a living, he would definitely be a master of breaking up passages.

Everyone came to the deer house.

Chen Ju came forward and said, "Master Thirteen, everything is ready."

Lin Shisan has been in Xiyuan for half a year. With the support of his "uncle" Lu Fang, Jinyi shopkeeper Lu Bing, and the Yan Party, all the eunuchs in Xiyuan now respectfully call him "Master Shisan".

Chen Ju prepared all the necessary items for Lin Shisan to collect deer antlers.

Lin Shisan first took out a long bamboo tube. The tube was hollow, smooth and straight, comparable to the legs of Lin Shisan's concubine Xiaoyun.

He put the long bamboo tube in his mouth and blew into it to make sure there was no foreign object stuck inside.

Then he picked up an iron needle wrapped in a cloth ball and put it into the bamboo tube. This iron needle was soaked in the juice of Datura flowers and shot at the deer, which would immediately become paralyzed and fall to the ground.

Lin Shisan picked up the bamboo tube and used his eyes to search for which stag was unlucky today.

A sturdy male deer with antlers as big as a mountain caught Lin Shisan's attention.

Lin Shisan took a deep breath and blew into the bamboo tube. The iron needle hit the deer squarely.

The deer staggered left and right after being shot by the needle, and fell to the ground with a bang after taking a few steps.

Lin Shisan stepped forward and tied the male deer's antler base tightly with a hemp rope to prevent it from bleeding to death.

Chen Ju brought an iron basin with two kilograms of wine already poured into it.

Lin Shisan took an iron saw and asked Chen Ju, "Did you roast it with fire just now?"

Chen Ju replied: "It's been roasted."

Lin Shisan nodded, took the iron saw and began to saw the antlers, while Chen Ju held the iron basin and collected the blood from the cut ends of the antlers.

Soon, a pair of two-pound antlers and more than half a pound of deer blood were collected.

Lin Shisan grabbed two handfuls of wood ash and carefully smeared it on the broken part of the antler to stop the bleeding.

The bleeding has been stopped, and the job is done. The deer will wake up in half an hour.

Deer antlers and deer blood are very nutritious.

Deer blood must be mixed with wine, otherwise it will rot and stink in a few moments.

Deer blood wine is a holy product for men to strengthen their bodies. However, it was used to make elixirs in the alchemy room of Yongshou Palace, which was a waste of natural resources.

Lin Shisan was not polite at all. He picked up a wine glass and scooped a cup of deer blood wine from the iron basin and drank it all in one gulp.

A young eunuch was very considerate and handed over a white towel.

Lin Shisan wiped his mouth with a white towel and said, "Ah, I have tested it. This deer blood wine is clean and non-toxic. It can be presented to the emperor for alchemy."

The emperor is afraid of being assassinated and poisoned. So wouldn't it be reasonable for me, Lin Shisan, to test whether there is poison?

Just for this reason, Lin Shisan had consumed more than ten kilograms of deer blood wine in the past six months. And it was the freshest and hot kind.

He really enjoyed it. He often drank deer blood wine in Xiyuan during the day, spent the first half of the night in the bedroom of his wife Biyun, and the second half of the night in the bedroom of his concubine Xiaoyun.

Chen Ju said, "Okay. I'll send the deer blood and antlers to the alchemy room right away."

Lin Shisan stretched himself and said, "I'm sleepy. Let's find a place to take a nap."

But the eunuchs refused to do so.

The young eunuch asked, "Master Thirteen, what on earth is going on with the bandits, the hostages, and the carp?"

The eunuchs echoed: "Master Thirteen, telling only half of the story is against the will of heaven and earth! You will be punished!"

"That's right, Master Thirteen. I heard that people who like to talk half-heartedly will give birth to a child without an asshole."

Lin Shisan laughed and scolded, "Go to hell. You gave birth to a child without an asshole."

The eunuch laughed and said, "Don't worry, Master Thirteen. We can't give birth to a child. Without the diamond, how can we take on the porcelain job of giving birth to a child?"

Lin Shisan didn't keep it a secret any longer: "Never mind, I'll tell you. The ancient sages said it well, cats have their own way, dogs have their own way, and chickens have their own way of not peeing."

"Bandits have been kidnapping people for many years, and they have figured out all kinds of secret methods and tricks."

"If you start eating from the carp ribs, you must be a poor Korean. Because the carp ribs look thick, but in fact there are many bones and the meat is tough. If you eat this part first, you may have never eaten fish in your eight lives."

"It's a waste of food to keep this poor piece of meat. It's better to beat him up and get him out as soon as possible."

"The hostage was taken from the belly of a carp. This means that the family is well off and can eat fish often. They know that the belly of a carp is tender and has few bones and is fragrant, without any earthy smell. Tying up such hostages can often extort a lot of money."

"We need to treat these rich people like ancestors and wait for their families to send us money."

"As for the meat ticket, those who only eat the gill meat are usually the most noble people in the family. Generally speaking, after eating the gill meat, these people will give the whole fish to their servants to eat."

"Bandits are not fools. They kidnap people to make money and try not to risk their lives. Kidnapping a rich and powerful person will often lead to trouble."

"So they will send the noble away in time. And then give gifts as an apology."

Lin Shisan was talking with spit flying all over the place, and the eunuchs were listening with fascination.

The young eunuch said, "Ah, so that's how it is. I never thought that being a bandit could lead to such great knowledge."

Lin Shisan nodded: "Of course. Life is full of learning. Well, I have to find a place to take a nap. I'll chat with you guys after I wake up."

Lin Shisan was as comfortable as a dog in Xiyuan.

There were two other people who were just as comfortable as him—two people who were imprisoned for crimes.

The older of the two was fifty-three years old and his name was Yu Dayou.

The young one was 28 years old and his name was Qi Jiguang.

The Ming army was badly defeated in the Battle of Taizhou. Qi Jiguang and Yu Dayou, who led the army, were to blame. The imperial court issued an order to arrest the two and imprison them in the governor's office.

In fact, the defeat was not the fault of Qi and Yu.

After the Japanese pirates landed in Taizhou, the two brothers were urgently transferred to Taizhou by Hu Zongxian to take over the command of Taizhou Guard.

The Taizhou garrison troops were weak and had no brains in fighting. The Japanese pirates pretended to retreat, and the garrison troops rushed forward like crazy, hoping to pick up heads and get the reward. Qi and Yu, the two nominal commanders, could not stop them.

As expected, the Taizhou garrison troops, who underestimated the enemy and advanced rashly, fell into the trap of the Japanese pirates and were almost completely wiped out.
Hu Zongxian has been busy with private contacts with Wang Zhi recently and has no time to take care of Qi and Yu who are in custody.

Today, when he had some free time, he came to the prison and wanted to visit his two beloved generals.

The ambassador who was guarding the prison came out and said, "This humble official greets the governor."

Hu Zongxian asked, "How are Deputy General Yu and Lieutenant General Qi?"

Ambassador Lao replied: "Ah, Deputy General Yu is beating the Jinyiwei."

Since Hu Zongxian came to the southeast, he has been working day and night, getting up earlier than the chickens and sleeping later than the chickens. Ah, of course, there are two kinds of chickens.

He was exhausted and misheard what Ambassador Lao said. He was furious and said, "What? Those dandy young men from the Nanjing Jinyiwei are beating up Yu Dayou? Yu Dayou is an old hero who fought against the Japanese invaders. How can he accept such humiliation?"

The capital of the Ming Dynasty had six ministries and the Jinyiwei. Nanjing had six ministries and the Nanjing Jinyiwei.

Ninety-nine percent of the Nanjing Jinyiwei were descendants of founding heroes who were not exterminated by Emperor Taizu.

This group of people had the title of Jinyiwei in vain, and were used to being idle on weekdays. They created troubles in Nanjing city, visited brothels, watched actors, drank wine, and had group fights. No local government dared to intervene.

Hu Zongxian had indeed heard it wrong.

Ambassador Lao quickly explained: "Governor, it was Deputy General Yu who was beating the Imperial Guards. It wasn't the Imperial Guards beating Deputy General Yu."

Hu Zongxian frowned: "That's even worse! Yu Dayou is now guilty. Beating up the Jinyiwei is a bigger crime than losing a battle!"

"Why don't you stop them?"

Ambassador Lao was at a loss whether to laugh or cry: "Governor, you will know if you go and see for yourself. No one of them suffered any loss, they were just learning from each other."

Hu Zongxian followed Ambassador Lao to the cell where Yu Dayou was imprisoned.

The so-called "cell" is actually a separate courtyard next to the prison.

Hu Zongxian stood at the gate of the courtyard and looked up to see a dozen Nanjing Jinyiwei surrounding Yu Dayou.

Standing in front of Yu Dayou was the prince of Wei, the captain of Nanjing Jinyiwei, Xu Bangrui. Xu Bangrui's face was covered with bruises, and it was obvious that he had been beaten by Yu Dayou.

Yu Dayou tapped his throat with a jab: "Remember, military boxing is a killing skill, and it emphasizes killing with one strike. It's not the three-legged fists and feet you use in group fights."

"You can't use a killing skill easily. If you use it, it will be a matter of life or death."

Xu Bangrui nodded hurriedly: "Brothers, remember what Deputy Marshal Yu said!"

Xu Bangrui is a direct descendant of Xu Da. He admires the old heroes who fought on the battlefield the most. The same is true for the rest of the Nanjing Jinyiwei.

In the words of later generations, this group of people were Yu Dayou's little fans.

During the six months that Yu Dayou was imprisoned, he ate well and slept soundly every day. When he had nothing to do, he would teach the Jinyiwei dandies how to fight. He was so comfortable.

Ambassador Lao whispered, "Governor, are you relieved now? Are you still going there?"

Hu Zongxian shook his head slightly: "I won't go over. Let's go and see Qi Jiguang. What has he been busy with recently?"

Ambassador Lao replied: "He asked the Jinyiwei in Nanjing to get a lot of cannons, guns, maps and so on. He studied them every day."

Hu Zongxian frowned: "The Jinyiwei in Nanjing gave cannons and maps to prisoners? Aren't they afraid that he will break through the prison wall and escape?"

After that, he was led by the prison ambassador to the courtyard where Qi Jiguang was imprisoned.

The person in charge of guarding Qi Jiguang was Chang Yinxu, the descendant of Kaiping Prince Chang Yuchun, the eldest son of Huaiyuan Marquis, and the commander of the Nanjing Jinyiwei.

Chang Yinxu has three hobbies: listening to Kunqu Opera, sleeping with an Oiran, and drawing maps.

Qi Jiguang was also a person who loved to study maps. At this moment, the prisoner and the prisoner were sitting at the stone table in the courtyard, studying a "Zhedong Key Points Geomancy Map"

Right and wrong, merits and demerits are all in people's hearts. In fact, whether it is the officials in Jiangnan or the Jinyiwei in Nanjing, their hearts are as clear as a mirror. The defeat in Taizhou was not caused by Qi and Yu, but by the corrupt military system of the guards.

However, recruiting soldiers to build a new army was extremely sensitive, and Hu Zongxian believed that the time was not yet ripe.

Therefore, for the time being, he can only pin his hopes on persuading the Pirate King Wang Zhi to surrender and using Japan to control Japan.

When Hu Zongxian saw that Yu Dayou and Qi Jiguang were living well in the "prison", his worries were completely put to rest.

He returned to the study.

A personal soldier served him tea. Hu Zongxian asked, "According to the date, Mr. Xu should have arrived in Beijing, right?"

The captain of the imperial guards replied, "Mr. Xu was on a government ship carrying grain, which should have docked at Tongzhou Wharf yesterday. It just happened to arrive in Beijing today."

Hu Zongxian nodded.

The "Mr. Xu" he mentioned just now was his aide-de-camp, the greatest talent in Jiangnan at that time, Xu Wei, also known as Xu Wenchang.

Hu Zongxian sent Xu Wei to Beijing to rescue Yu Dayou and Qi Jiguang, so that they could be acquitted and lead troops again.

Hu Zongxian had heard that Lin Shisan had been possessed by the Jade Emperor at the Taiye Lake in the Western Garden, and had used a trick to induce the Golden Turtle Immortal to appear. In the end, with this not-so-clever trick of "auspicious appearance", the political tide surrounding the Shen Lian incident was calmed.

Hu Zongxian was greatly inspired.

He made a plan. He first found a fisherman and lied to him that a Taoist deity, a white deer, had appeared in the Zhoushan Islands.

Then he sent Xu Wei to Beijing to arrange things, with the goal of having the official Lin Shisan sent to Jiangnan to look for the white deer.

The white deer is a figment of imagination. It is naturally impossible to find it.

But Hu Zongxian and Lin Shisan were acquaintances. He knew that Lin Shisan was not a bad person.

He planned to let Lin Shisan tell a lie and say that under the guidance of Yu Dayou and Qi Jiguang, who were familiar with the terrain of eastern Zhejiang, he saw a white deer but failed to capture it.

For a divine object like this, the word "seeing" is enough. Witnessing the auspicious birth is a great achievement in itself.

In this way, Lin Shisan can make a great contribution by witnessing the auspicious birth of the white deer.

Yu Dayou and Qi Jiguang were naturally able to take advantage of this and escape punishment.

The place where the auspicious sign appeared was under the jurisdiction of the Zhejiang Governor, and Hu Zongxian was also very proud.

This is a good thing for you, me, and everyone.

Let’s talk about the Western Garden of the Imperial Capital.

Lin Shisan was sleeping soundly when someone pinched his nose.

Lin Shisan cursed: "What are you doing?"

When he opened his eyes, he saw his "uncle" Lu Fang standing in front of him.

Lu Fang said, "You are so lazy now that you are almost maggoty."

Lin Shisan smiled and said, "Your Majesty is wise and the world is at peace. It is indeed a blessing that I have cultivated for ten lifetimes to be a lazy official in times of peace."

"As the saying goes, it is better to be a maggot in prosperous times than a person in troubled times."

Lu Fang scolded, "Your mouth is as sweet as honey. The highest level of flattery is 'sneaking into the night like the wind, moistening things silently'. I think you have already reached this level."

Lin Shisan asked, "Uncle is looking for his nephew because of an errand?"

Lu Fang said, "Well, I have something to ask you. I often have indigestion. The first time I ate your pickled shrimp, it not only whetted my appetite, but also made me feel full and my indigestion was cured."

"I've had indigestion again recently. Eating raw pickled shrimps again doesn't help. What's going on?"

Lin Shisan couldn't help laughing and chuckled.

Lu Fang said angrily, "What are you laughing at? You keep talking about filial piety all day long. I really want you to be filial, but you keep me in suspense."

Lin Shisan forced himself to stop smiling: "Uncle, if I tell you the secret method of pickling raw shrimps, you have to forgive my sins first."

Lu Fang said, "Okay, okay. I'm so angry that my stomach is about to explode. As long as you tell me the method, I will forgive you any sins you have committed."

Lin Shisan leaned close to Lu Fang's ear and whispered a few words.

After hearing this, Lu Fang's face suddenly turned pale and he cursed: "You are such a heartless little bastard! You tricked me into eating slop shrimp! I will beat you to death!"

　The fever has gone down. It was 37 degrees. I have no other problems except feeling weak all over. I will be able to resume my updates tomorrow. This wave of flu is too severe. Everyone, please try not to go to crowded places.

　　
　
(End of this chapter)