The system is very abstract, fortunately I am also.

Chapter 453 When fairies appear in fairy tales, it's actually quite embarrassing.
Wednesday, Christmas Day.

Because Nansang Secondary School has no plans to celebrate this Western holiday, there are almost no elements of Christmas on campus.

The few that were done were only spontaneously organized by some classes within their own classrooms.

Lin Li arrived at the classroom.

According to unofficial historical records, the reason why Liu Bei adopted a son named Liu Feng and then named his son A Dou was actually to reveal his hidden ambition—he wanted to become a titled Douluo.

Liu Bei clearly established the Shu Kingdom, so why did he only call himself the King of Hanzhong instead of the King of Shu? It was precisely to avoid mentioning the Tang Clan, who were entrenched in Shu.

After the defeat at the Battle of Yiling, he, an old man in his sixties, was able to lead his remaining troops all the way from Hubei to Chongqing, and he used the Tang Clan's movement technique "Ghost Shadow Misty Tracks" to lead them.

Unfortunately, as everyone knows, the Tang Clan's secret techniques cannot be leaked. Liu Bei's actions were a death sentence, so while it was officially stated that he died of illness in Baidi City, he was actually assassinated by the Tang Clan.

"You have some nerve! You're quite something, you've already chosen your own path to death!"

"What are you babbling about? What does it matter if you're dead? Rise again, my love!"

"Before I am resurrected, could I borrow your extraordinary corpse for a moment? I need it."

"..."

Lin Li, who had been part of the daily laughter and chatter of the boys in the back row, returned to his seat after distributing breakfast. He took a small gift box from his bag and handed it to Bai Bufan.

"What is this?" Bai Bufan didn't take it immediately; instead, he stepped back warily.

"Don't worry, it's a gift we picked up from the church last night."

Bai Bufan, who had been covering his buttocks and thinking that Lin Li had ill intentions and coveted his beautiful body, suddenly realized upon hearing this that he had indeed participated in such a small event over the weekend.

I accepted the small, packaged gift box, but I didn't relax too much. It's always right to remain vigilant when facing Lin Li.

Fortunately, Lin Li was indeed not scheming this time. After opening it, Bai Bufan found a brand new water-filled hot water bottle, along with a note:
"Wishing you a warm winter and happiness every day if you receive this gift."

The handwriting is very immature, and it is clear that the child has not been proficient in writing for very long.

"Tsk tsk, my goodness—" Bai Bufan raised an eyebrow, somewhat amused, and remarked, "It makes my corpse feel warm."

Many times, Bai Bufan wanted to shout to God, "God, let me be the top! I can't take it anymore!"

But now, looking at this sincere blessing, Bai Bufan is willing to forgive the world for a second.

"Wang Ze was overjoyed." Lin Li smiled.

It can only be said that "censorship" is sometimes terrible, but sometimes it is indeed necessary.

Because every gift has been inspected by the church volunteers, under pseudo-random conditions, you will never receive any extraordinary "gifts".

Even trying to do something funny is not allowed.

So before having breakfast, Bai Bufan went to the water dispenser and got a bag of boiled water.

Warm and caring.

Bai Bufan felt that Ding Han had been cured.

"Today is Christmas," Bai Bufan said, feeling the warmth of the hot water bottle. He then looked at Lin Li and asked, "Lin Li, what happened to the little match girl last night?"

Upon hearing this, Lin Li instantly switched to a fighting stance and adopted a narrator's voice, recounting last night's story to Bai Bufan:
"In an ordinary small town, Christmas Day, which was yesterday, was filled with happiness and joy in every household. Even though the weather was bad, the wind was howling, and snow was falling from the bleak sky, it did not affect people's mood."

But the girl couldn't be happy. She was thinly dressed, short in stature, and shivering uncontrollably. Her face was deathly pale, devoid of any color, and her hands, frozen purple, clutched only a few nuclear bombs and a remote control.

"Nuclear bombs for sale! Nuclear bombs for sale!" the girl shouted hoarsely, her voice barely audible, as if she were using the last of her strength.

Barefoot, she saw a middle-aged man and earnestly said, "Uncle, please buy me a nuclear bomb. I haven't eaten for three days. This is the latest DF61, which can provide global heating."

However, the uncle did not buy it, but simply said, "Sorry, we now use matches to keep warm; nuclear weapons for warmth are obsolete."

Several customers followed suit, preferring to start a fire by rubbing sticks together rather than use a nuclear bomb for warmth. The girl thought with some despair: if she didn't sell a nuclear bomb soon, she would really starve to death.

She dared not go home, because she knew she would be beaten if she went home without selling the nuclear bomb. Night gradually fell, and in the cold wind, the child shivered violently.

She walked for an unknown amount of time until she was completely exhausted. She stopped hawking her wares, looked around, found a place to rest, put down the nuclear bomb in her hand, painstakingly dug through the thick snow, and slowly sat down, curling up into a ball.

Shivering from the cold, she felt it wouldn't be quick. She thought about detonating a nuclear bomb, because that might warm her up.

In a daze, the kind face of her long-deceased grandmother gradually appeared before the girl's eyes, and she couldn't tell if it was real or not.

Grandma said kindly to the girl, "Child, come with me. Just press the button in your hand, and I will take you to a wonderful place where there is no hunger or sickness, only eternal happiness."

The girl just wanted to be in her grandmother's arms, so she nodded in agreement without thinking.

Then, a mushroom cloud appeared in the sky above the town, and that evening, she finally met her beloved grandmother along with everyone in the city.

"How wonderful." Lin Li was lost in the beautiful story in his mind.

Although he had heard about it before, seeing how seriously Lin Li spoke, Bai Bufan still felt uneasy. He smiled and said:

"Host, your fairy tales are really interesting, but they're still a bit too cruel. Do you have any more dreamy and beautiful ones?"

“Yes, brothers, yes.” Lin Li nodded. “Next up is the dream version.”

Lin Li cleared his throat and began to speak slowly and deliberately:

"In an ordinary small town, on Christmas Day..."

……

...And so, a beautiful, radiant mushroom cloud appeared in the sky above the town, and that very night, she and the entire city saw her magical, beautiful, and dreamlike grandmother, just as she had wished.

Bai Bufan: "?"

"What the hell is so dreamy and wonderful about you?!"

Hearing the exact same story, only changed at the end, Bai Bufan almost spat his breakfast back into his takeout box. He then gave Lin Li the middle finger, patted the hot water bottle on his lap, and laughed:

"I was moved and wished that little girl in the fairy tale could also get a hot water bottle. I finally wanted to be human, but you made me lose so completely. Lin Li, you deserve to die."

“Okay, okay,” Lin Li smiled, “There is actually another version of ‘The Little Match Girl’, which has a happy ending, and that should meet your needs.”

Lin Li is reliable, Bao Wei can climb trees, Bai Bufan just scoffed when he heard this: "I don't believe it."

"I can tell you the ending in advance."

"You said."

"Everyone in the town saw the little girl's grandmother."

"Isn't this the same thing?"

Lin Li: "But everyone in the town is alive, the little girl is alive, and everyone has a smile on their face."

Seeing the smile on Lin Li's face, Bai Bufan knew that things were definitely not that simple.

However, as the King of Red Stone, he had to be prepared to accept the consequences and taste the saltiness of the food. So, Bai Bufan continued eating his breakfast while nodding to Lin Li.
"What do you say."

Lin Li smiled slightly, then cleared his throat:

"A long, long time ago, there was a streetwalker—"

"puff--"

I almost spat out my drink just now, but this time the cult classic appeared too early, and Bai Bufan really spat it out.

And it almost sprayed onto Zhou Jiana's back.

It's worth noting that Zhou Jiana and Huang Yi had very upright posture in Class 4, unlike the boys in the back who usually hunched over or slouched. Most of the time, they sat with their backs straight, close to the desk behind them.

Once it is released, its power and area will be maximized.

Bai Bufan could only be thankful that he had lowered his head in time.

"Cough, cough, cough cough!" After finally managing to catch his breath, he looked at Lin Li with a slight twitch at the corner of his mouth.

I asked you what she's selling! Is she still selling matches?! Answer me!!!
Lin Li: "What's wrong?"

Seeing Lin Li's slightly bewildered expression, Bai Bufan smiled and said, "It's nothing, please continue."

Although it was already confirmed that the stone was a bit salty, since we were already there, we might as well try it.

Lin Li nodded and continued, speaking in a very low voice, making sure only he and Bai Bufan could hear him:

"She wasn't originally in this line of work, but after her mother passed away, her father remarried, and that wife brought two stepdaughters with her. So, in order to fit in, she also chose to become a stepdaughter."

"But because of this, she had no prior experience and no track record, and her family looked down on her and treated her very badly."

"Wait, wait a minute!!" Bai Bufan was stunned when he heard this, and realized that something was wrong: "We've gone off-topic, haven't we? Weren't you going to talk about 'The Little Girl Who Doesn't Sell Gold and Copper'? How did it become 'Yellow Girl'?" "Don't worry, when a gun appeared and a bullet was fired in the previous scene, someone will definitely be shot later." Lin Li frowned and said, "Besides, 'Yellow Girl' sounds too awful, this is 'Gray Industry Girl'."

"Chiyu, continue." Bai Bufan's lips twitched slightly, but he was also curious to see what Lin Li was really up to.

"Fast forward to the familiar part: In short, one day, the prince of the kingdom decided to hold a silver party."

"The best streetwalkers in the country will participate."

"But the two stepdaughters of the gray-market girl took all the props from the house and went to participate on their own, leaving her alone at home."

"Fairy tales are always full of wonderful coincidences. At this time, the gray girl found a purple mood magic left by a fairy under the hazel tree next to her house."

"Without any hesitation, the helpless young woman in the gray industry, alone at home, chose to use it."

"But I never expected that the moment I used it, my clothes would instantly turn into underwear, my flip-flops into high heels, and I would have an extra butt—and there was even a filming van parked in front of my house."

The "gray market girl" was stunned, then noticed a line of text: "Everything will be invalid after 12 o'clock."

"Without hesitation, the gray-market girl immediately took the nanny car to the palace. When she arrived, her dazzling clothes stunned everyone and left a deep impression on the prince. He was deeply attracted to her and his heart was completely devoted to her."

"But as midnight approached, the prince discovered that the gray-haired girl had broken free from his embrace and said she wanted to go home."

"The prince tried to give chase, but the gray-haired girl was running very fast. In the chaos, something fell down from behind her."

"The prince picked it up and found it to be unusually small and slippery. A normal person would fall out if put in it, and no one could hold it. So the prince announced to the whole country that whoever could wear it would be his future wife."

"Leaving aside the power struggle with his stepdaughter, in short, when he arrived at the gray-market girl's house and discovered that she was a potential match, the prince immediately recognized her and they lived happily ever after."

Bai Bufan: "(゜▽゜)?"

Lin Li, you're starting to seem less human, you know that?

No wonder your voice is so low.

But before criticizing the story itself, Bai Bufan wanted to ask another question: "So what the hell does this have to do with The Little Match Girl?"

"You'll find out soon enough," Lin Li gestured for Bai Bufan to calm down, smiled, and continued:
"On the Christmas of the day when the Grey Girl and the Prince got married, a little match girl walked down the street, selling her matches."

"But now everyone in the town uses nuclear bombs for warmth, and nobody uses outdated matches anymore."

"After failing to sell the goods for a long time, it was already night. The little girl's hands and feet were cold and she was shivering."

"To get a little warmth, the little girl lit a match, and in the warm light of the match, she actually saw a large stove."

"But this is just a fantasy. When the match goes out, the stove disappears completely."

"The little girl then lit another match, and in the flames she saw roast goose, Christmas tree, her grandmother, and all sorts of wonderful things."

"But they're all fake."

Before she knew it, the little girl had only one match left.

"She lit the match, but by then her hands were so frozen and trembling that she couldn't hold it, so the match fell into the snow and melted some of it."

"The little girl saw something strange, so she took it out."

Lin Li's voice suddenly sounded somewhat excited:
"It's the magic wand that the gray-market girl used!"

"The little girl was so cold that she was clumsy, so she used it instinctively!"

"Whoa! My tattered clothes have instantly turned into—underwear!"

"It's burning!"

"At that moment, the townspeople who were passing by also took the opportunity to see her grandmother."

"They discovered that appearances can be deceiving, and one cannot judge a book by its cover! They underestimated her!"

"We absolutely cannot let someone like that end up on the streets," so the little woman and the townspeople lived happily ever after, and that was the end!

Bai Bufan: "(；☉_☉)?"

Bai Bufan needed a question that conveyed his emotions better than simply stating "not human".

"This is unbelievable! There's even a crossover event?!"

"What the hell! Why would a shady girl just leave this amazing gadget lying around on the street?!"

Lin Li asked in bewilderment, "She's already with the prince, why would she need a purple mood? She can just throw it away."

Bai Bufan: "..."

Bai Bufan remained silent for a long time before giving a thumbs up: "Lin Li, damn it, you are the real King of Fairy Tales. I suggest that everyone grow up reading your fairy tales. This will definitely help our next generation grow up stronger."

Looking down at the note in the drawer wishing him happiness every day, Bai Bufan couldn't help but pray for the child.

—I hope you never meet Lin Li.

By the way, I'll probably never meet myself again, but frankly, it doesn't matter, it's not a big deal.

After angrily scorning Lin Li, Bai Bufan couldn't help but reveal his true nature: "Brother, is there any more?"

"Yes, brother. Yes."

"explain."

"Long, long ago, there was a queen who possessed a magic mirror that knew everything. One day, she asked the mirror, 'Magic mirror, magic mirror, who is the sweetest, softest, cutest little boy in the world?'"

The magic mirror answered, "Snow White."

"The Queen could not accept this, so she sent hunters to kill Snow White."

"But the hunter was drained dry after meeting her, and Snow White not only ran away, but also met a group of dwarfs, and thus lived a shameless life like Tom playing the trumpet."

"After the Queen asked the Magic Mirror about this again and discovered that Snow White was still alive..."

"He came up with a plan, so he pretended to be a fairy selling magic wands and found Snow White."

"It just so happened that the dwarf wasn't around that day, and besides, the dwarf is more than just short in stature, so she immediately took a liking to it and bought the fairy wand with the highest magic value."

"But when Snow White tried to cast the spell, she realized she had been tricked."

"This is a fucking stun gun."

"Hahahaha—" Bai Bufan completely lost his composure at this point, slumping onto the table. When Lin Li looked over, he forced a laugh and waved his hand, "That's fucking awesome—"

Fortunately, I wasn't eating anything.

Lin Li, who was interrupted, shrugged helplessly and continued to tell the story in a low voice: "In short, Snow White was electrocuted. When the dwarves returned, they were very sad and thought she was dead, so they prepared a coffin while she was still hot."

Bai Bufan: "What do you mean by 'prepare the coffin while it's hot'? What exactly does 'prepare while it's hot' mean?!"

"Don't interrupt. Anyway, at that moment, a prince on a white horse passed by, saw Snow White's face, and couldn't move."

"With a loving kiss, Snow White woke up! But upon discovering that Snow White was not a corpse, the prince immediately ran away in disappointment."

"But fortunately, the prince of the white horse has left, but the white horse has not left."

"And so Snow White and the white horse lived happily ever after."

Bai Bufan: "..."

"So you just forced a happy ending, huh?! Why does Hakuma even have a role?!"

“There were foreshadowing elements earlier,” Lin Li said, looking at Bai Bufan with some disdain. “First of all, even seven dwarfs couldn’t satisfy Snow White. Secondly, the requirements for magical power are the highest, and the horse’s penis is very long…”

"You call this foreshadowing?! You're not allowed to disrespect the word 'foreshadowing'!!"

"Stop barking like a dog, are you even listening to me?"

"listen."

"This time, it's the story of the three little pigs..."

……

As Lin Bai muttered to himself behind him, his silver laughter occasionally drifted out.

Huang Yi and Zhou Jiana, who were in front, were so anxious that they were scratching their heads and cheeks.

No matter how hard they strained their ears or how carefully they listened, they could only catch snippets of conversation and had no idea what Lin Bai and the other person were saying.

Is there anything in this world more cruel than this?
(End of this chapter)