The system is very abstract, fortunately I am also.

Chapter 435 Long live the Egg God Cult!

"What are you crying about?!"

Everyone was still very polite, and they waited until Lin Li finished speaking and started to fake cry before letting their laughter spread freely.

“However, Lin Li, I think you’ve misunderstood.” Bai Bufan’s smile wasn’t as strong as the girls’, but after a few seconds, he frowned and spoke.

"Impossible, he meant well, you can't slander him."

"I didn't mean any harm, but I meant that the person you met probably wasn't a true Shanghai master from the Plain White Banner, because a real Shanghai master of the highest caliber wouldn't go to Mixue Ice Cream with his friends,"

Bai Bufan's expression remained unchanged. Continuing from his previous statement, he pointed out a problem that Lin Li hadn't considered, and then decided to use his own story as evidence:
"I was originally from Shanghai."

I came to Nansang on a business trip with my parents before, and a wicked Xiling person tricked me into drinking a clear, sweet and sour red-sealed beverage—later I found out that it was called Mixue Ice Cream.

My parents were stunned. When they found out what had happened, they took me to the hospital to have my stomach pumped, but it was too late. My stomach, which had been drinking Starbucks for many years, was ruined just like that.

When my family returned to Shanghai after my business trip, I was so nervous during the security check that the airport noticed something was wrong. So they released a local Shanghai mosquito, which took a bite out of me.

When the security guard saw the mosquito spitting out blood and rinsing its mouth, he immediately realized that my bloodline was no longer pure.

So they called security, and they immediately removed my whole family's household registration. They even said that if it weren't for my parents' past connections, they would have hung me on the Oriental Pearl Tower for three days as a public spectacle. Sigh, in the end, we had no choice but to register our household in Nansang. I've even fallen so low that I have to sit at the same table as someone like you, a lowly person..."

"That's not right..."

Upon hearing this, Lin Li touched his chin somewhat insecurely and began to mutter to himself:

"Mixue Ice Cream isn't considered a high-end beverage? You know, even lemonade costs four yuan per pound, while the Oriental Pearl Tower cost 8.3 million yuan to build and weighs only 12 tons, costing only 3.46 yuan per pound. Isn't the former more prestigious...?"

"Hey! Watch your mouth! How dare you say such blasphemous things in public! Are you out of your mind?!"

"..."

The girls who were already laughing non-stop were even more amused by the two men's uninterrupted and effortless recitation of "Shanghai Chronicles," to the point that they squatted down on the ground, their shoulders shaking uncontrollably.

As for the aunt: "(；゜○゜)?"

What are those handsome young man and his human friend saying in gibberish? I can't understand a word they're saying.

Are we still going to eat the cake?
However, because of the aunt's presence, Lin Li and Bai Bufan decided to stop while they were ahead and paused their conversation.

The cake tasted average, just a very ordinary homemade cake with a pure cake base flavor. If it were commercialized, the five of us definitely wouldn't have bought it, but since the aunt was so enthusiastic and it was a charity sale, the five of us still bought a bag together.

They continued walking towards the other stalls.

"Why are there green Santa hats?"

Bai Bufan stopped in front of a stall, pointed to a few green hats mixed in with the hand-woven Christmas hats, and exclaimed in surprise.

“The Santa hats were originally green, symbolizing the vitality of spring, but they were later changed to red,” Lin Li explained. “But if you do this in China, it’s bound to have a bit of a morbid sense of humor, or maybe it’s for people who are red-green colorblind.”

"Oh, I see. Then I'll treat you. Lin Li, I'll give you a hat." Bai Bufan was unusually generous.

"I've known about you and Sister Yu for a long time, and I've accepted it. It doesn't count as cheating on me." Lin Li waved his hand nonchalantly.

"Your mother!" Bai Bufan laughed and gave the middle finger.

Raising an eyebrow slightly, Bai Bufan glanced at the girls who were browsing and discussing the merchandise, then leaned closer to Lin Li and lowered his voice:

"Lin Li, I just learned about a new achievement of Sister Yu."

"What?" Seeing Bai Bufan's posture, Lin Li leaned closer, pretending to listen attentively.

Bai Bufan cleared his throat and spoke with great emotion:
“A wealthy man was about to die. Before he died, he called his three sons to his room and said: I will give each of you a gold coin. Whoever can fill this room will inherit my estate.”

"My eldest son bought a huge pile of paper, which filled half the room."

"The second son bought a bag of flour, and after he scattered it, it only filled the lower half of the room."

"The smartest youngest son brought a picture of Sister Yu—so the four of them filled the whole house with it."

In the end, the younger son received the lion's share of the inheritance, and the older son received the smaller share.

Lin Li: "oO?"

This is indeed a story that no girl or even human should hear, no wonder Bai Bufan is acting so furtively.

However, Lin Li then wondered, "Why did the eldest son also receive a share of the inheritance?"

Bai Bufan: "Because the paper he bought played a significant role in the inheritance battle, he deserves credit even if he didn't make any great contribution. The youngest son took the initiative to offer it."

Lin Li: "(；☉_☉)?"

"Grass!"

Faced with Bai Bufan's winking and smirking, Lin Li finally couldn't hold back anymore and punched him with a smile.

"I've heard this story about dividing the inheritance before, but it's not quite the same as yours." After his smile faded a bit, Lin Li returned the favor with a serious expression.

"Oh? Then I'm all ears."

"The eldest son bought flour and scattered it in the room, making the room full of flour. The second son was smarter than the eldest son. He bought a gas cylinder and opened it, filling the whole room with gas. The smartest one was the youngest son, who lit a candle and came in at that moment."

Ultimately, the funeral company received the lion's share of the inheritance, while the property received a smaller portion.

Bai Bufan:

"It's pretty good, but I feel it's a little inferior to mine." Bai Bufan had his own pride.

"But it's closer to human beings; we can say it out loud. If a girl asks us, at least we can repeat it, right?" Lin Lili said objectively and frankly.

"That's true."

"What are you whispering about again?"

The homemade Christmas hats here were hardly of high quality. After the girls tried them on briefly, they didn't even bother taking pictures. Instead, they noticed the situation with "One Dog" and came over to ask if they wanted to hear some crosstalk.

Lin Li gave Bai Bufan a smug look—"Let's see whose is inferior now."

Bai Bufan nudged Lin Li with his elbow, conveying everything without words, and then told the girl Lin Li's version of events.

What the two received was still three concerned looks from people with intellectual disabilities.

The church courtyard, however large, wasn't that big, and there were only so many stalls. It took the five of us about half an hour to explore all the stalls.

"The best-selling items are actually food and drinks, as well as decorative items and ornaments. Although many people come to look, most of them are just there for the fun or to try it out, and very few actually buy anything."

Before heading into the church, Ding Sihan glanced at the courtyard from the steps and came to this conclusion.

"Therefore, our strategy for the amusement park event was absolutely flawless. It perfectly combined people's natural inclination to eat and drink with their desire to join in the fun and try new things. The person who came up with this idea was simply handsome and dashing..."

Lin Li was lavish in his praise.

"I also think it will definitely sell very well." Chen Yuying was too lazy to refute, and nodded with a smile.

The plan for the New Year's Day garden party in Class 4 has basically been finalized this week.

They sell shaved ice and oden, one cold and one hot, so you can have hot oden if you're on your period or don't want to eat anything cold.

If any food isn't sold out in the morning, each student in the class can have a portion for lunch, which easily solves the problem and avoids waste.

Besides, Class Four also has a trash can that looks like a human.

The reason for choosing to sell these two types of food is mainly because the equipment is available from classmates and can be provided free of charge, which can greatly save costs.

In addition, in order to differentiate themselves and attract customers, Class 4 does not intend to simply sell food, but to combine it with street games such as ring toss.

If you achieve excellent results after participating in the game, you can get a free shaved ice or oden. If you achieve poor results, you only need to buy one food item at the listed price.

This would definitely be much more appealing than simply selling food.

As for whether or not there will be a loss... to be honest, since Xue Jian said so, not many people in the class care about that. Breaking even would be considered a huge profit.

The specific games and rules, as well as the types of food sold, can be slightly adjusted next week.

The five people returned to the church through the back door. The sanctuary was still rehearsing the songs, and now they were singing in Chinese; they were indeed Christmas carols.

The number of believers is also greater than it was not long ago.

After listening for a while, the five of them headed towards the activity room.

"Auntie!" As she approached the activity room, Ding Sihan waved to a lady at the door from afar.

It must be my aunt, because she looks quite young, probably no more than thirty.

Some of her facial features are somewhat similar to Ding Sihan's, so it seems that Ding Sihan is indeed not a wild child.

"Hanhan, you're finally here." Ding Yu, who was sitting at the table by the door talking to someone, turned around upon hearing the voice and responded with a smile.

"Hello, Auntie." Lin Li and the others stepped forward.

"You must be Hanhan's classmates, hello, hello." Ding Yu greeted Lin Li and the others warmly, then pointed to an older man in a priest's robe beside her and introduced him:
"This is Father Qiu from our church."

Before Lin Li and Bai Bufan could make a move, Chen Yuying, Ding Sihan, and Qu Wanqiu stepped forward simultaneously, subtly blocking the priest from the two of them, and politely exchanged pleasantries with the priest.

Standing in front of Lin Li, Chen Yuying secretly nudged Lin Li with her elbow.

Lin Li and Bai Bufan: "..."

This is the taste of distrust.

The two exchanged a glance and shrugged, finding it somewhat amusing.

The girls are actually overthinking it.

Just like the saying "virtual dad, virtual mom, virtual ancestral graves are not afraid of being dug up," although the two of them usually say "your mom" and "your dad" all the time, when they actually meet, they still respectfully greet each other with "Hello, Uncle and Aunt." Playing with the meme is just playing with the meme.

The two of them certainly had their share of teasing priests, but in reality, if they encountered a real priest, would they really go up to him and ask a question like, "Father, when you were learning math, did you like permutations and combinations the most, since there's a normal distribution in them?"

impossible.

That's incredibly rude; it's practically an insult.

Respect those who deserve it, and gossip behind their backs—that's about it, unless you're certain they're not worthy of respect, in which case it's a different story.

After a brief exchange, which didn't take too long, Ding Yu had Ding Sihan lead Lin Li and the others into the activity room to do their own DIY activities.

The activity room was spacious and bright, and many people, young and old, were already busy there.

The activity involves making felted wool items with Christmas elements. Since felting requires the use of needles and can be dangerous, parents will definitely be present to supervise the children indoors, which is a very thoughtful consideration.

The five people sat in a row, with Lin Li still embracing two women on his left and right.

"How do you play with this?" Bai Bufan had never encountered this before, so he looked completely bewildered after receiving the fluff ball and the needle.

"Have you ever played with Play-Doh?" Lin Li asked Bai Bufan, prompting him. "Yes, I have." Understanding Lin Li's meaning, Bai Bufan nodded in realization and tried to knead the ball of clay.

Lin Li nodded: "That's fine then. Let me put it this way, it's a completely different game from that one."

Bai Bufan: "?"

No?

"Hey, why are you telling me this, Auntie?" Bai Bufan's lips twitched slightly.

—There were many children and adults in the activity room, so Bai Bufan felt it was necessary to be polite and refined, hence the use of "auntie" to refer to your mother and his mother.

“I’m just helping you rule out one way to play,” Lin Li laughed, then shrugged. “I’ve seen this online. It involves fixing the wool to a foam board and then poking it repeatedly, but I haven’t tried it myself, so I don’t know how.”

“But I’m different from you; I have an all-around amazing girlfriend,”

Lin Li naturally reached out and gently pulled Chen Yuying, who was sitting to his right, closer to him, so their shoulders were intimately close. Then, Lin Li gently touched the girl's forehead with his forehead: "How do we play this?"

Chen Yuying's eyes were full of smiles as she picked up her tools and instantly transformed into the gentlest craft teacher that elementary school students would love: "Watch closely."

"It should be like this, first use a needle to lightly fix the shape..."

Chen Yuying took a small ball of white wool and roughly laid out the outline of a snowman's round, chubby body on a foam board. Then she transformed into Rong Momo and started stabbing and stabbing!

Okay, that's a rather crude description.

To put it more elegantly, it might be like having slender, white, food-grade fingers pinching the end of the needle, while the wrist moves up and down steadily and lightly, the movements as fluid as dancing.
"It's actually like this, it's very simple, why don't you give it a try?" Chen Yuying paused when the snowman's belly began to take shape and looked at Lin Li.

"I will attack in the form of a Gundam." Lin Li nodded and began to try.

"You need to poke in one direction here, with even pressure, and not too quickly..."

Chen Yuying watched Lin Li try it very carefully and gave him guidance.

Not only that, sometimes they even teach you step by step.

Touching the back of Linli's hand with his palm, he was guided to feel the changes in the state of the wool so that he could make adjustments.

Unfortunately, Lin Liquan was gone, unable to fully appreciate the cool touch on his fingertips.

Wool? What kind of wool?
However, in order to prevent Chen Yuying from uncovering his ulterior motives, Lin Li did not pretend to be ignorant for long and soon grasped the general idea.

The main problem was that Qu Wanqiu and Ding Sihan, who were standing next to her, were imitating the two of them in a close, affectionate manner, which made Chen Yuying a little embarrassed.

Afterwards, Lin Li went to teach Bai Bufan.

Seeing Lin Li actually teaching Bai Bufan step by step, even standing behind Bai Bufan and hugging him while teaching, such a gay scene made Chen Yuying feel that she was being a bit too cuckolded.

Alas, I shouldn't be so strict with myself and so lenient with others.

Under the watchful eye of his incompetent wife, Bai Bufan at least managed to learn how to do it.

In less than half an hour, everyone's results were in, with Lin Li and Bai Bufan's being the least impressive.

In fact, Lin Li is capable of doing very well. His current comprehension and hands-on skills are evident, and his understanding of wool felt has reached an even higher level.

But why take things so seriously all the time?

Even if you do a really bad job, you can get comforting ridicule from Chen Yuying, undisguised ridicule from Ding Sihan and Qu Wanqiu, and gratified ridicule from Bai Bufan. Why not?
Maybe I really am a masochist.

"Finished work? Shall we go get dinner?" Lin Li stretched and stood up to ask the others.

We didn't gather until after 3 p.m., so it's almost time for dinner now.

"Okay." The four of them naturally had no objections.

"Auntie! We're leaving now, going to eat!" Ding Sihan said goodbye to Ding Yu at the door as she left the activity room.

“Okay,” Ding Yu nodded, but then remembered something and quickly looked up to ask, “Hanhan, are you and your classmate in a hurry? If not, can you help your aunt organize some documents?”

It won't take long, about ten minutes, and that's a conservative estimate, considering there are so many of you. After I'm done, I'll treat each of you to a cup of milk tea.

Ding Sihan looked at the other four people, and after getting a response from their eyes and actions, she nodded to her aunt: "Sure."

If my aunt were to buy five cups of milk tea, I could drink 1.666667 cups of milk tea by myself, which would be a good business.

Seeing that their request was granted, the five people were taken to the church office by Ding Yu. After explaining the organization requirements, Ding Yu returned to his post at the entrance of the activity room.

The task was indeed not difficult, and everyone was able to accept it.

"Dingding, your aunt seems quite gentle, speaking softly and gently. How come you're so violent?" Lin Li, whose shoe prints on his pants hadn't been completely wiped off yet, spoke up as he worked quickly.

"Are you sure? Although she's not a black belt, my aunt is a red belt, one level below in Taekwondo," Ding Sihan chuckled.

"That's alright then, your dad is definitely your biological dad." Lin Li gave a thumbs up.

"Isn't it normal to hide your true nature in front of strangers?" Ding Sihan scoffed, then added in a slightly risqué tone, "Even with other people, you can still be gentle~"

"You're trying to quit pornography, so don't do it." Lin Li continued to deftly separate the papers one by one, answering without even looking up.

Ding Sihan: "?"

"Lin Li! You're disgusting!!"

Oh dear, the old shoe prints haven't been completely removed yet, and new shoe prints have already appeared.

"That's a bit unreasonable, isn't it? In a way, I was praising your voice," Lin Li said, feeling wronged.

"I'd rather you attacked me."

"Since you—"

"Shut up."

"Can't you control your best friend? You can't talk to her, and you can't stay silent. Is there no reasoning with her?" Lin Li complained to Chen Yuying.

Chen Yuying smiled broadly, but her words were cold: "Shut up!"

Lin Li: TAT.

It's alright, I still have my good brother—

Bai Bufan: "Shut up."

Damn it, before I even turned my head, Bai Bufan's voice came from behind me.

Betrayed by everyone, Lin Li could only sadly accept this fate and bury himself in his work.

"Lin Li, could you pass me that stapler on your table over there?" Qu Wanqiu, who was sitting on the farthest side, glanced at the table and reached out her hand to Lin Li.

Lin Li nodded and handed the items to Qu Wanqiu.

"Thank you—" Qu Wanqiu's gratitude caught in her throat because what she received was a heavy wooden cross ornament.

"Why did you hand me the cross?" Qu Wanqiu asked in surprise.

"Hmm—hmm—" Lin Li mumbled in his sleep after shutting up.

At this moment, Bai Bufan offered a helping hand, looked at Qu Wanqiu, and explained in a serious tone: "Didn't you want a crucifix? Isn't a cross a crucifix specifically used for nailing Jesus?"

Qu Wanqiu, Chen Yuying, and Ding Sihan: "?"

"What's with your expressions? Isn't this how normal people would interpret it?"

"And Lin Li, why did you keep elbowing me? Haven't I already explained it for you?"

During the explanation, Bai Bufan, who had been repeatedly elbowed by Lin Li, questioned Lin Li in bewilderment.

Lin Li sighed and gestured with his chin toward the door.

Bai Bufan looked up and met Ding Yu's gaze.

Ding Yu was staring intently at Bai Bufan, but after Bai Bufan looked over, she silently shifted her gaze to the nail-shaped machine in Qu Wanqiu's hand, her expression indescribable.

Bai Bufan: ☉_☉.

Ah oh.

Did I just use my ultimate skill at point-blank range?

The password... I wonder if I can even leave the church alive now.

They wouldn't gather their followers and burn themselves, a heretic, to the ground, would they?

There were at least 50 believers in the temple just now, while there were only five of them on our side.

Bai Bufan thought about it carefully. In other words, if the two sides were to fight, on average, he would have to deal with at least 54 people by himself, which seemed a bit too much for him.

Just as Bai Bufan was about to kowtow and slide to his knees, he frowned.

Is Aunt Ding trying to suppress a laugh?
Ding Yu, whose expression had been subtly adjusting, gradually bit his lower lip hard with his upper teeth, his eyes widened, his nostrils flared slightly, and the muscles in his cheeks tightened and twisted unnaturally, as if he were suffering from some kind of great internal injury.

Her shoulders even began to twitch suspiciously.

He was probably trying not to laugh!

And it seems they've reached their limit.

"I...I have to go out for a bit." Ding Yu's voice was strained and slightly trembling. After speaking, she quickly turned and disappeared out the door.

"..."

"..."

It's quiet in the office.

Lin Li broke the silence with his words:

"Dingzi, is someone laughing loudly in the corridor right now?"

Ding Sihan shook her head expressionlessly: "No."

Lin Li: "That laughter sounds like your aunt's."

Ding Sihan shook her head expressionlessly: "No."

Lin Li: "Dingzi, tell me the truth, is your aunt a Catholic because she wants to collect eggs?"

Ding Sihan's expression gradually became the same as her aunt's just now, and then she gritted her teeth:
"Lin Li, you really talk too much. Didn't I tell you to shut up?"

"walk slowly."

(End of this chapter)