The system is very abstract, fortunately I am also.

Chapter 404 Bai Bufan doesn't like to eat raw food.

“I’m a man…a husband to my wife…a father to my children…”

"Could it really happen between men...?"

"How strange... I think I've fallen in love with this feeling. I'm sorry... wife... wow... what a good man..."

Bai Bufan's voice, filled with decadence, restraint, and sorrow, drifted softly from behind Lin Li at that moment.

Lin Li: "?"

Are there any experts?

"No way, Bai Bufan, are you crazy? I'm acting in a Japanese drama in front of me, and you're acting in a Sichuan opera behind me. Who can stand that?"

Lin Li finally lost his temper and, cursing, broke free from Bai Bufan's grasp.

After everyone in front and behind him fell silent, Lin Li looked at Ding Sihan, who was also smiling across from him, touched his chin, raised an eyebrow, and made a reasonable deduction:
"Dingzi, so you often appreciate art too... huh?"

"Don't make fun of me!" The teasing, drawn-out tone made Ding Sihan's face flush slightly, and she immediately denied it:
"This meme is really popular online lately. I only remembered the lines after I saw it last night. I don't usually watch this kind of stuff. Who's as disgusting as you!"

"There's no need to curse like that..."

Bai Bufan quietly voiced his indignation on behalf of his good friend.

—Of course, the good friend Bai Bufan was referring to was the "thing" Ding Sihan had just mentioned.

As for Lin Li, he is indeed disgusting, no problem, you deserve to be scolded.

Lin Li, who was being scolded, just chuckled and didn't really intend to discuss the topic in depth with the girl. He knew when to stop and didn't respond.

To be honest, Lin Li felt there were just too many things to be careful about after getting a Japanese girlfriend:
Friends, colleagues, bosses, and neighbors are all forbidden from being brought home. She can't be left alone at home ordering takeout or taking out the trash. Her father needs to be sent to live in the countryside when he gets old. She has to fix anything that breaks at home herself. She can't be a nurse, teacher, or secretary. I must accompany her to shopping, beauty salons, massage parlors, hospitals, gyms, buses, subways, trams, and elevators. She can't owe anyone money, can never be drunk, and I must never tell her about any difficulties I encounter. After having children, I have to attend parent-teacher meetings and home visits myself, and I'm strictly forbidden from having my children bring male classmates home to play…

Sigh, it really wasn't easy when I thought about it.

"Are there any dishes that haven't been served yet?" Lin Li asked, looking around the table, pulling himself out of his thoughts.

"Let me see," Qu Wanqiu, who was closest to the bill, picked it up and compared it with the dishes that had already been served, nodding: "There's also a sashimi platter, sesame octopus, and eel rice..."

Just then, a waiter came quickly with a plate and placed another dish on it.

"Hello, waiter, do you have water?" Lin Li asked casually.

"Yes, sir. The self-service area is just over there. There are three free options: barley tea, plain water, and miso soup. The miso soup is only available hot, while the others are available both hot and cold. Please feel free to choose."

The waiter was too busy to call Lin Li right now, so he simply pointed him in the right direction.

Lin Liben didn't intend to trouble anyone, so he nodded to indicate that he understood. As he stood up, he noticed that the girls also had empty cups in front of them, so he asked "Three Dogs":
"I'll go get some water. What would you like to drink?"

"No need, there are two drinks in the set meal, the three of us can share them," Ding Sihan waved her hand to indicate that it was unnecessary.

—Because the order was a combination of set meal and à la carte items, not a five-person meal, there were no five drinks.

Lin Li and Bai Bufan were completely unconcerned about the girls taking their drinks away; in fact, it was precisely because they had a good relationship that they did this.

"And you?" Lin Li then looked only at Bai Bufan.

"Barley tea bar."

"Ice or hot."

"I've recently gotten my period." Bai Bufan might be speaking human language, but it's impossible for Bai Bufan to speak human language.

"Okay." Lin Li naturally understood Bai Bufan's meaning and got up to leave.

Ding Sihan understood Bai Bufan's meaning. After Lin Li left, she took out a pack of sanitary napkins from her bag and handed it to Bai Bufan without saying a word.

Bai Bufan: "...?"

Seeing that Bai Bufan didn't make a move, Ding Sihan ignored Chen Yuying and Qu Wanqiu, who were laughing so hard they couldn't stand up straight, and kept her expressionless. She tapped the pack of sanitary napkins with her fingertip, raised her chin, and urged them to take it quickly.

"..."

"Grass."

"Thank you, sister, but no need, I brought my own." Bai Bufan's lips twitched slightly, and he finally waved his hand through gritted teeth.

"Okay." Ding Sihan finally stopped being mute and withdrew her hand with satisfaction.

Bai Bufan covered his forehead with his left hand, and after a long while, he looked up at Ding Sihan and sincerely gave her advice:
"Ding Sihan, I suggest you spend less time with me and Lin Li in the future. It's not a good thing for you."

"Heh," Ding Sihan chuckled, then the smile faded, replaced by melancholy and sorrow. She looked up at the ceiling: "I...it seems...I can't go back..."

Bai Bufan: "..."

Damn you!
There were quite a few reactions!

I really can't play with him anymore!

Lin Li returned with two cups after quite a while.

"Why did it take you so long to come back? Did you go to the toilet on the way? Don't pee in my cup!" Bai Bufan asked casually.

Lin Li didn't answer, but handed the cup, still steaming in his left hand, to Bai Bufan.

Bai Bufan took it, brought the cup close to his eyes, and then smelled it with a puzzled expression: "This is barley tea? It doesn't seem like it."

The barley tea shouldn't be this red, and it doesn't smell or taste right either.

Although it certainly didn't smell like urine, Bai Bufan was still a little hesitant to drink it.

He looked at Lin Li's cups and became even more certain of this—he could tell at a glance that the one in Lin Li's cup was the real barley tea.

Lin Li smiled gently and gave the answer: "This is brown sugar water."

Bai Bufan: "(；☉_☉)?"

"They even offer brown sugar water here?" Bai Bufan asked in surprise.

"No, I just ran to the nearby convenience store to buy some brown sugar, and I made it especially for you." Lin Li took out a packet of brown sugar powder that had only been used a little from his pocket and tossed it in front of Bai Bufan.

"..."

"..."

After a brief silence, the three girls opposite were the first to react.

Ding Sihan: "Wow~~"

Qu Wanqiu: "So heartwarming~~"

Chen Yuying: "I wish you happiness."

They were deeply moved; today was another day they shed tears for someone else's love.

"Grass!!!"

Bai Bufan, who had been silent the longest, finally let go of his feelings after a few seconds.

No wonder it took so long to get a drink; he just ran outside. Of course it took him a while.

Bai Bufan decided that he would never choose "or" again when Lin Li gave him the "A or B" option, because Lin Li could change the question based on the answer he chose.

When Bai Bufan suddenly caught a glimpse of Lin Li's hand reaching into his other pocket, his pupils constricted, and he abruptly shifted his buttocks outward, rushing forward to grab Lin Li's hand through his pants:

"Don't fucking stop! Don't take the sanitary napkin out and give it to me! Put it in your own pocket! I don't want it even if you take it out!"

"Huh? Damn, how did you know?" Lin Li was a little surprised, because he had indeed bought a pack on a whim.

Upon hearing this predictable answer, Bai Bufan finally smiled with relief once again.

He moved back to his seat, sipped some brown sugar water, waved to Lin Li, and simply sighed:
"Lin Li, you and Ding Sihan actually thought of the same thing? I'm starting to ship them..."

Before she could finish speaking, Chen Yuying stared—

Feeling the sudden gaze directed at him, Bai Bufan immediately shut up, and the next second he banged his forehead against the table:

"Squad leader, I mean I'm thinking of kowtowing. I won't kowtow to those two first, but I'll kowtow to you a few times first."

I was just wishing myself and Lin Li happiness, but it seems I was lying.

Chen Yuying accepted the kowtow gracefully and also winked at Lin Li in a very generous manner.

Lin Li responded with a raised eyebrow.

"Alright, we can start eating now. Order more if you're still hungry."

In the short time since Lin Li left, most of the dishes that hadn't been served yet have been served, Ding Sihan said with a smile.

Before he could even settle in, Lin Li scanned the table, his gaze lingering briefly on a few dishes.

He then reached out and moved the sashimi platter, which was still icy cold in front of Bai Bufan, to Qu Wanqiu's side—the furthest position from Bai Bufan.

Qu Wanqiu was stunned for a moment, then gave a thumbs up and said in an exaggerated tone, "You don't even want Bai Bufan to feel a bit of cold air. That's too considerate."

The girls started teasing again.

“That’s not it,” Lin Li interrupted the spellcasting, his tone calm: “It’s simply because Bai Bufan doesn’t eat raw food. If you put it in front of him, it’s not convenient for you to pick it up, and he won’t eat it anyway, so it’s not good for anyone.”

"Hmm?" Ding Sihan frowned and looked at Bai Bufan: "Bai Bufan, don't you eat raw food? Why didn't you say so just now? You didn't have to order it."

"I'll eat it?" Bai Bufan was stunned for a moment, then looked at Lin Li in surprise: "Damn it, when did I say I wasn't going to eat it?"

Lin Li looked puzzled: "When I treated you to a meal last time, didn't you say you couldn't eat it?"

"When? You treated me to this? I don't remember?" Bai Bufan was more and more confused.

Seeing how serious Lin Li was, Bai Bufan swallowed hard, bracing himself for what was to come: he had a feeling he was about to become the butt of jokes again.

Lin Li: "In the chemistry lab."

"..."

Bai Bufan: "(；☉_☉)?"

I remembered——

Bai Bufan suddenly stood up and grabbed Lin Li by the collar:

"You fucking made me eat quicklime, didn't you?! Quicklime! CaO! Damn it! Do you think I wouldn't eat raw things?! I wouldn't eat slaked lime either! This stuff turns into a strong alkali as soon as you put it in your mouth, even Baowei wouldn't eat it, how could you expect me to eat it!"
Lin Li, I'm quicklime, I really am quicklime your second uncle.

Bai Bufan frantically shook Lin Li back and forth, trying to shake the shit out of Lin Li's head.

Lin Li chuckled and scratched his head, saying embarrassedly:
"Okay, actually it's just because eating raw meat can trigger the wild instincts in animals, with unimaginable consequences. I have a friend who turned into a monkey and ran away after eating a banana. I don't want you to go around biting people."

"Get out of here." Bai Bufan raised his middle finger.

"Will your friend who turned into a monkey come back to visit?" Ding Sihan's focus was completely different.

“I chased after him and gave him some grass, and he turned into a cow or a horse and came back.” Lin Li nodded.

Chinese culture is truly profound. Bai Bufan couldn't immediately tell who was cursing whom in Lin Li's words, but regardless of the situation, he understood at least one thing: this friend was most likely Wang Ze.

"Alright, if Bai Bufan wants to eat it, take it back." Qu Wanqiu got up to take it back.

"No need, my arms are long enough, I can still grab it," Bai Bufan waved his hand dismissively, but he glanced at Lin Li and sneered:

"It would indeed be more convenient for you to leave it there—that's our warm-hearted guy's real purpose. Let him be warm, let him be warm to death, can we start eating now?"

Feeling the cold stare, Lin Li chose to wink back.

"Began to eat!"

The five people started eating, and the conversation turned to evaluating and sharing their opinions on the food.

"These tempura shrimp taste pretty good. Everyone should eat them while they're crispy, otherwise they won't taste as good when they get cold." Chen Yuying, with a bit of oil on her lips, ran her fingertip across her lips and pointed to the fried shrimp in front of her.

"Give it a try." The two dogs were immediately tempted to give it a shot.

"Lin Li, aren't you going to eat?" Chen Yuying asked.

“Eat,” Lin Li nodded, then leaned forward, opened his mouth, and said, “Ah—”

Chen Yuying's helpless smile contained a hint of doting affection, but feeling the teasing gazes of her friends, she ultimately succumbed to shyness. Originally, she picked up the chopsticks she was going to use to feed him, but instead, she picked up the food from the plate near Lin Li.

"You have to eat your own food; you can't expect to be fed," the girl admonished earnestly.

"It's all your fault..." Lin Li looked at Ding Sihan and Qu Wanqiu with resentment.

Some people are really superfluous.

The two were not ashamed, but rather proud.

"This is also quite delicious, it has a lot of layers of flavor, you guys can try it." Ding Sihan cheerfully pointed to a plate of sushi and recommended it, her mouth full and her voice unclear.

Lin Li and Bai Bufan focused their attention on the sushi, which was covered with a layer of small, translucent, orange-red eggs.

"What is this?" Bai Bufan asked.

“Prince Ming,” Ding Sihan replied.

Bai Bufan thought for a moment, but couldn't remember what kind of fish Mentaiko was, so he asked, "What is Mentaiko again?"

Lin Li: "Zhu Biao."

Bai Bufan looked at Lin Li as if he were an idiot.

What kind of Ming prince are you?

"I mean, what is the egg of the Ming Prince?" Bai Bufan said, enunciating each word clearly.

Lin Li looked at Bai Bufan, then shook his head with an air of righteous indignation:
“Bufan, I disagree with your opinion. I don’t think Zhu Biao is an idiot.”

"Zhu Biao can definitely be considered a wise and virtuous crown prince. He is kind-hearted, gentle, and deeply loved by the people of the court and the public."

Even a ruthless emperor like Zhu Yuanzhang placed great hopes on him, regarding him as the ideal successor to the Ming Dynasty. If he hadn't died so young, the succession to the Ming throne wouldn't have been so chaotic, leading to the Jingnan Rebellion. According to official historical records, Zhu Biao handled government affairs steadily and often advised Zhu Yuanzhang to use less cruel punishment and to be more considerate of the people.

This is clearly a model heir apparent, possessing both virtue and talent, far from being a fool. He is extraordinary. Perhaps one should spend less time studying the Three Kingdoms period and more time studying other dynasties, rather than making such absurd judgments.

Bai Bufan: "(；☉_☉)?"

After a moment of stunned silence, Bai Bufan smiled with relief.

Bai Bufan smiled and nodded, patting Lin Li's shoulder with his hand, and said with relief, "Yes, yes, I understand, Lin Li. Zhu Biao is not an idiot, of course he isn't. There is another idiot, someone else! Someone else!

The slaps grew heavier and heavier until the very end, and Lin Li had no idea who Bai Bufan was cursing.

It’s so hard to guess.

Bai Bufan then picked up his phone, intending to look it up himself.

Does it really matter what kind of egg is mentaiko? No, it doesn't matter. But sometimes guys are like that—they become inexplicably curious about the answers to strange and unusual questions, to the point of needing to know, like an obsession.

Even when I'm sleepy in the middle of the night, as long as I have a question in my mind and my thirst for knowledge comes up, I will give up my sleepiness and choose to search for the answer on my phone.

How long is an elephant's snot?
Do giraffes get phlegm stuck in their throats?
—Which urine stream do intersex people use?
What do blind people dream about?
—The world's tallest dwarf?

How are eunuchs castrated? How do they urinate after castration? What impact does it have on their lives?
And so on, and so forth.

"Cod roe, I guess." Seeing that Bai Bufan really wanted to know, Lin Li finally gave a formal answer. "I forgot what kind of cod it was, but it seems to be pronounced similarly to 'Mentai' in Japanese, so that's what it's called."

“I found it. It’s Alaska pollock, and it’s not called ‘Mentai’ in Japanese. This fish was introduced to Japan from the sun. In Asahi, it’s called ‘Mentai,’ and Japan uses that name as well.” Bai Bufan raised his index finger and corrected Lin Li’s mistake.

"I see, I've learned something new." Lin Li raised an eyebrow, accepting the updated knowledge with ease.

Mentaiko sushi is savory and fresh upon first bite, with a crunchy and bouncy texture like bursting fish roe. However, it also has a hint of the sea and a slight fishy taste. Overall, it's not bad and can be used to fill a line of text.

There are delicious foods, but there are also disappointing ones.

Lin Li put the eel rice, which he had been looking forward to, into his mouth and chewed a few times, but then frowned in disappointment.

"Isn't it delicious?"

The shrewd scholar Bai Bufan also followed suit and scooped up a spoonful of eel rice. Before even eating it, he noticed this expression and asked what was wrong.

"It's a bit too firm. I think it's quite something that this place can make eel, which is delicious no matter how you cook it, into something that's neither here nor there." Lin Li didn't hold back his praise.

Bai Bufan slowly chewed the fish and rice as they entered his mouth.

"how?"

“It is indeed a bit hard.” Bai Bufan nodded in agreement, but then lowered his voice and leaned closer to Lin Li:
"But I think it might not be the restaurant's problem, but ours—there's a problem with our dish pairings."

"Hmm?" Lin Li frowned slightly.

It was just the classic eel and rice combination, nothing new.

Lin Li then looked at Bai Bufan expectantly.

The reason for this anticipation is a premonition that Bai Bufan is about to start speaking incoherently again:
"How exactly did the combination go wrong?"

Bai Bufan had been waiting for these words. He nudged Lin Li with his elbows, his finger pointing at the sashimi platter:

"Didn't we also order fish slices?"

"As is well known,"

"People will say 'hmm' after watching porn."

"A knife will become sharper when its blade is examined."

"After watching the fish fillets for so long, how could it not be tough?"

“We shouldn’t have ordered the fish and fish fillets together, or served them separately, otherwise I reckon the eel would have been soggy.” Bai Bufan said with an air of seriousness, very confident in his judgment, his tone firm.

Lin Li: "(；☉_☉)!"

Holy crap! It really is!

That makes sense; the problem was indeed with the combination.

Lin Li stroked his chin, thought for a moment, and then sighed: "But this also reflects a problem: our eel has no standards, and the quality is low."

"How to say?"

Now it was Bai Bufan's turn to look at Lin Li expectantly, because in the current situation, it was clear that Lin Li had learned by analogy.

“This is raw fish fillet, but this eel is already hard,” Lin Li said, pointing at the eel with some disdain. “As the saying goes, if you don’t watch the movie and don’t pay attention to the plot, you’ll miss out on half the enjoyment.”

“Take me for example. I only watch cooked meat in movies, that’s my preference. But this eel is open to both meat and vegetables, and it’s also open to raw meat. I don’t really respect it.”

Bai Bufan fell into deep thought upon hearing this, stroking his chin: "Could it be that this eel is imported from Japan, doesn't need a translation team, and can be eaten raw?"

"How could I not have considered this? Bufan, just look at the price yourself. Where would you find imported eels at this price?"

Besides, there's not much difference between Japanese and Chinese eels; in fact, most Japanese restaurants now use domestic eels. Restaurants that don't aim for high profit margins wouldn't bother importing them, as it would be a thankless and costly endeavor.

Lin Li's thinking was quite comprehensive, so he immediately refuted her and gave his reasons.

"That makes sense!" Bai Bufan was completely convinced this time.

“Therefore, those who walk different paths cannot make plans together,” Lin Li threw down his chopsticks and pushed the bowl containing the eel forward: “Eels without any ambition are disgusting and don’t deserve to be in my mouth. I won’t eat them!”

"+1, I'm not eating it either! It's garbage!"

The three girls opposite looked up when they heard the sound of chopsticks being dropped, and saw Lin Li and Bai Bufan standing there with their arms crossed, sulking.

Ding Sihan, Chen Yuying, and Qu Wanqiu: "(；☉_☉)?"

Who has upset them again?

(End of this chapter)