From the end of the world

Chapter 748 Let's Save the World Together
I raised my thoughts as a question, and Fazheng gave an answer after thinking about it.

“All things die, from life to non-life, without exception. So it can also be said that all things will one day return to the Great True Spirit and merge into the truly omniscient and omnipotent being.” Fazheng said, “Since the paths lead to the same destination, the difference lies not in the ending, but in the process.”

“I have known some practitioners who have long ago attempted to realize their true spirit. In their view, returning to the Great Spirit after death and attaining supreme wisdom while still being oneself are two completely different concepts.”

“But isn’t this also a kind of ‘ego’? With this kind of motivation as the starting point, it’s impossible to prove one’s true spirit.” I said, “And after proving one’s true spirit, one will inevitably fall into death, without exception… at least that’s what I saw in the materials.”

“Cultivators who pursue the True Spirit Realm as their highest goal are the most mysterious and incomprehensible group among all demon hunters. I can’t say I fully understand how they view their own cultivation,” Fa Zheng said. “Perhaps even they themselves sometimes don’t quite understand. The most difficult thing to understand in this world is not others, but oneself, which is also what they like to say most often.”

"Among them, there are occasionally some who have gone mad, and there have even been bizarre branches that worship death. Although it is not very appealing to admit, their culture still has many remnants in Luoshan today. Most of the time, those people are basically suicidal fanatics who bring about their own destruction. If left alone, nothing will happen. But I have heard that in several historical periods, there was a spark that brought death to all mankind and even destroyed the world."

However, that has nothing to do with the present—Fa Zheng said, then brought the topic back: "In short, I don't think that proving the true spirit is something you can achieve simply by liberating your soul structure... but you'd better think that this approach will produce the same bad consequences as self-proving the true spirit."

Abandoning the structure of the soul, merging with the myriad phenomena, and transforming into a truly omniscient and omnipotent being—this approach is logically the same as returning to the Great Spirit through suicide. It does not mean attaining supreme wisdom while alive, but rather merging into the source of the world as one of countless streams after death. In other words, it is not true self-realization of the Spirit.

I had no desire to prove my own spirituality, so I heeded Fazheng's advice.

After a brief chat, I parted ways with Fazheng and Jian Feixian. It seemed Fazheng would need some time to restart the portal to the real world, so I wanted to talk to Mazao a bit more while we had the chance. Mazao also seemed to want to talk to me, and Zhu Shi gave us some space to be alone together.

The portal was in the area of ​​the town ruins, and we were talking behind one of the ruins. Even so, I was a little unsure how to begin. Asahi now seemed to have regained all her past memories, and I was a little worried that she might become a stranger to me and develop some distance between us.

I myself may not have the right to view Asahi in this way, because my mind has also undergone significant changes. In terms of the internal differences before and after, I am probably even more so than Asahi.

"Zhuang Cheng, let's sit there."

Ma Zao pointed to a spot not far away, where there were two stones of the perfect size and shape to serve as makeshift stools.

I sat down on one of the rocks, and Ma Zao didn't sit on the other rock. Instead, as always, she sat in my lap, grabbed my arm, and made me hold her tightly.

She hugged my arm too. I thought she wanted to say something, but she didn't say a word. We just stayed in that position, breathing quietly, as if trying to feel each other's body temperature. Since she wanted to do that, I cooperated, relaxing my whole body and pulling her even closer into my arms.

A long time passed like this, without anyone else disturbing us, nor any of the apocalyptic monsters launching any inconsiderate attacks. Perhaps because Asahaya could now better control her jinx power, I was lost in thought, and it wasn't until then that I gradually snapped out of my tense battle state. After relaxing, some feelings, perhaps lingering fear, belatedly surfaced—just recently, I had almost lost everything, almost lost Asahaya in my arms.

I lowered my head and brought my nose close to Asao's hair, inhaling her scent. Asao turned her head and gently rubbed her soft cheek against mine.

Asahi hasn't changed at all; it's still my Asahi, and that feeling really comes to mind.

My mind gradually calmed down.

After a moment, Ma Zao started the conversation.

"—I remembered a lot of things."

She began by recounting her past.

The findings are largely similar to what I've gleaned from connecting many clues in the past. Asaha initially wandered the afterlife as a survivor of the apocalypse. After being consumed by madness and losing all her memories, she was discovered by Fukuin. Fukuin, needing a fresh bloodline, took her in. Later, Yomi recognized her special talent and made her her disciple.

Asa made many friends at Fukuinin, including Number Seven. However, most of her friends died because of Asa's jinx power, and even Number Seven, who was very close to Asa, had a serious conflict with her because of it and left after leaving behind a curse-like message.

Number Seven's words deeply hurt Asaho, and she became a solitary person, never daring to make friends with anyone again.

Perhaps seeing Asahi's lonely and helpless state, Number Seven seemed to regret her past actions and wanted to reconcile with her. However, Asahi couldn't let go of her inner turmoil, and Number Seven's words couldn't open her heart again. Later, Asahi fully realized the darkness of Fukuinin and betrayed her teacher, and Number Seven lost the chance to speak with her again. Until recently, Number Seven finally reunited with Asahi, but Asahi no longer recognized the person in front of her.

"The madness of the apocalypse made me lose too many memories, but perhaps it also protected me in a way. If I could clearly remember everyone who was killed by my fate, I would not be able to bear it and would choose to end my own life," Asaho said.

“But now you remember everything,” I asked cautiously. “Do you still want to end your own life?”

I don't believe those things were Asahaya's sins. If I had to say who was at fault, it would be Naraku Fumonshiki's fault for unreasonably imposing the burden of "saving the world"—a fate far too heavy for anyone—on the shoulders of a little girl. But I know very well that this explanation isn't enough to comfort Asahaya. Kind-hearted people often blame themselves for things they shouldn't be blamed for, while others exploit this phenomenon to shift blame onto others for things that are clearly their own. So, I must at least protect Asahaya in this regard.

If her answer is "yes" now, I will stop her no matter what I say.

“I may have more courage now. And the source of my courage is embracing me now,” Mazao said. “I still feel unforgivable… but I want to do something within my power.”

"That's good," I said.

“Zhuang Cheng, you told Fa Zheng before that you were no longer obsessed with the end of the world…” Ma Zao turned around and looked at me.

She should understand better than anyone how heavy this decision is in my heart.

"Have you given up on the adventure?" she asked.

I shook my head.

I haven't given up on adventures; I've just stopped clinging to the narrow definition of adventure. In fact, I still really enjoy adventures in fantasy worlds. The bizarre supernatural forces, the various strange events, and the enemies with extraordinary ideals still excite me and inspire my longing. They represent my best vision of adventure.

However, if it were me in the past, I would not only think it was the best, but also the "only" one. But now I no longer feel that it is "inevitable".

Whether you insist on having it or go to the extreme of discarding it as a dark chapter in your history, thinking that you're grown up and should scoff at it, both are actions driven by attachment. If you remain stuck in such a superficial and immature mindset, you can't grasp true enlightenment. Now I can look at my own heart with equanimity and accept everything about myself.

As for the apocalypse, to be honest, I'm still very interested. I want to know what I would be like in the apocalypse, and I want to know the various aspects of life there. The longing I felt for it in the past still resonates deeply with me now.

But since the end of the world will destroy everything, especially the future of all the people who are important to me, I will not hesitate to stand on the opposite side of the end of the world.

“I want to save the world, and this is the adventure I’ve chosen,” I said.

Upon hearing this, Ma Zao looked at me with bright eyes.

"As for what to do after that, I haven't thought about it yet. We can think about it later. But there's one thing I've decided: you'll be by my side when the time comes," I said. "—Ma Zao, let's save the world together."

As I said those words, my soul seemed to become incredibly light and bright.

Perhaps I've wanted to say this to Asahi for a long time.

However, I've always been unwilling to confront this possibility. It's like forcefully plugging my ears, allowing only one object to exist in my field of vision. How many detours did I take to finally say those words?

"Mmm—Mmm!" Mazao nodded vigorously.

After lingering for a while, we returned to where the portal was.

(End of this chapter)