From the end of the world

Chapter 710 Little Bowl's Hug

“Brother Zhuangcheng, you are badly injured! And…” Xiaowan quickly came over and helped me up.

At the same time, she seemed to have noticed more problems, such as the fact that I am no longer an Apostle of the Void Realm.

"Please help me heal my wounds first, Xiaowan," I said.

“Okay, I’ll treat you right away.” Xiaowan nodded repeatedly. “Also, Sister Mazao has been waiting for you all this time, we…”

"Wait, don't tell Ma Zao yet," I said reflexively.

Xiao Wan paused slightly, then asked, "Why?"

Even I don't quite understand why I did it. Fortunately, Xiaowan thought about it and didn't argue. Instead, she helped me into a guest room on the side of the corridor.

There were many empty rooms like this in the mansion, and few guests visited them. Although the cleaning spells set up by Lu Chan in various places always kept them clean, they were generally not used. Xiao Wan had me lie down on the bed deep inside the room and then began to treat me.

Only then did she ask in a gentle tone, "Why don't you want to meet with Asahi-neechan?"

Why don't I want to see Asahi right now... In this short period of time, I carefully sorted out my thoughts and feelings, and finally came to my senses.

To be precise, it's not that I don't want to see Asa, but that I don't want Asa to see me as I am now.

I suffered a defeat, I'm battered and bruised, and I look pathetic. Although it's not outwardly visible, I know I look terrible. I wanted to appear most composed and dashing in front of Asahi, but now I'm the complete opposite of my ideal image—it's so pathetic. I don't want my favorite girl to see this.

It's not that being covered in wounds necessarily means you're no good. There's a saying that scars are a man's badge of honor, and I wouldn't mind being seen covered in blood. Nor is it that losing in battle is unacceptable. I've never considered myself an invincible war god, and I've always accepted the possibility of failure, because I'm not interested in adventures that are guaranteed to succeed or those that are guaranteed to fail. Even when I first faced the Great Demon Xuanwu and ended up having to retreat in a sorry state, I didn't really feel ashamed.

But... this time is different.

This time is different.

Together with the naval commander Xuanwu and Meng Zhang, they besieged Shan Liangyi, only to be utterly defeated without any resistance, unable to put up a fight until the very last moment. Their divine seal fragments were stolen, and they were then treated as harmless targets and let go easily. This utterly humiliating defeat was a taste I had never experienced before. To put it more bluntly, it was the taste of shame.

Disadvantages and defeats, however bitter, I can swallow. I've even been prepared to be shattered in adversity. But this kind of humiliation is something I can't digest; it's something I never imagined. Thinking about it carefully, since I'm in conflict with someone, I should have considered similar possibilities beforehand. Perhaps this feeling stems from having had too many smooth sailing times in the past.

So, I'm probably feeling a bit awkward right now. I was already somewhat immature in some ways, and now that immaturity has intensified, to the point that I feel like a stranger to myself. Was I really such a conflicted person?
These utterly awful thoughts were impossible for me to tell Asaha. Although I said I wouldn't lie or deceive Asaha anymore, well… this is different. I hope you can give me a chance to secretly hide away and lick my wounds; I'll definitely pull myself together afterward.

However, the words that Asao couldn't say to Komugi were inexplicably easier to say to her. It wasn't that she felt no resistance; perhaps she wanted to make amends to Komugi. Komugi was Asao's closest friend, so I might be projecting my feelings onto her.

In the past, I could tell Zhu Shi that I liked her without any reservations, but I found it difficult to say it to Ma Zao, perhaps partly because of this situation. Coincidentally, Xiao Wan is also a kind of Zhu Shi.

Before I could even say a few words, as always, Xiao Wan seemed to see right through me and said with a smile, "Brother Zhuang Cheng, are you treating me as a substitute for Sister Ma Zao? That's not a good idea."

"It's my fault." I tried to get up.

Xiaowan gently pressed me down, gesturing for me to continue lying in bed. While continuing the treatment, she said, "It's alright. Whether you act as a substitute or with someone else, I can do it. It's even okay if you act cute towards me, Xiaowan."

By the end, I found it a bit absurd and said, "Don't joke around."

“I’m not kidding. You should try to be cool in front of Mazao-neechan and be inseparable from her. But if you’re unhappy or have something you can’t say, you can vent to me sometimes. It’s okay to complain childishly or get angry like a child. I’ll always give Zhuangcheng-gege a hug,” Xiaowan said.

“I will not do that,” I said.

"It's just an example," Xiaowan said. "By the way, about what we talked about last time, how about we try it out now?" "What is it?" I didn't react at first.

"That's it..."

Xiaowan first had me sit up slightly, then she quietly climbed onto the bed and sat down at the head of the bed, behind me. Next, she tucked the pillow and blanket behind her and lay down on it like she was sprawled on a beanbag chair. Then she had me lie back down and rest my head on her soft belly, while her delicate little legs stretched out on either side of my shoulders.

She smiled and reached out her small hands from above, as if to hug me, and touched my cheeks, saying, "How is it? Is it uncomfortable to do this? Would it be better to change positions?"

The power of blessing seeped into my body and soul from her hands, healing my spirit. The feeling of being gradually healed from a serious injury—whether it was comfortable or not—was definitely comfortable. As for the posture itself, it was hard to deny it; it felt like being gently cared for. Rather, I was a little worried about whether she was uncomfortable, and if I directly agreed, wouldn't it really seem like I was trying to be affectionate with Xiaowan? That seemed rather shameless.

The little bowl seemed to have read my concerns.

"I don't feel uncomfortable at all, this is quite novel. Just to fulfill my request, Brother Zhuang Cheng, can you just stay still like this?" She smiled slightly, "Now, continue telling me about what happened before."

To be honest, I still felt embarrassed. But I always found it hard to resist Xiaowan's kindness, and I didn't have the energy to object. In the end, I obediently complied and continued to recount everything I had experienced on the battlefield.

One figure after another flashed through my mind like fleeting shadows.

I secretly respected him, yet also regarded him as my mortal rival, and incredibly, he left behind the gift of enlightenment before his death...

The naval commander Genbu, who was once an enemy and then a comrade-in-arms, died suddenly in the end...

Meng Zhang, burdened by an unknown dark past, nearly succeeded in creating another universe...

The terrifying Mountain Ryougi possesses overwhelming power...

Compared to my allies, the image of my enemies is much clearer in my mind. But to be honest, I can say that I have perfectly achieved all my objectives in this operation in the southern city. Whether it was Xuanming, who threatened Xiaowan's life, or Mengzhang, who had a grudge against me in the past, they were either killed by my own hands or died after my plans were ruined. Even the mission of obtaining the Great Demon God Guiling Pill from the Navy Master Xuanwu was completed perfectly.

Only the Mountain and the Two Elements... because he appeared at the last moment, brought this all to a very inglorious end. This might be the first time I've encountered such a huge setback.

It is said that humans often need to experience setbacks to grow. If I can overcome this setback, will I be able to achieve further growth?

Since becoming the Great Impermanence, my power has never truly increased. First, I received an enhancement through the slag weapon, and then I made up for the shortcomings in density technique through the experience of the Great Demon of Calamity. These are all in the realm of external objects and techniques, and cannot be considered as true strengthening.

Even considering that my magical power at the level of Great Impermanence was something I didn't know when I first acquired it, and that my growth process before becoming Great Impermanence was more about unleashing my inherent potential through life-and-death crises, it could be said that I haven't experienced any real growth in essence.

I have considered alternative paths to becoming stronger, but compared to my already high starting point, those methods are basically ineffective. The only useful answer is slag weapons, but this path seems to have reached its end. Both the material "slag" and the weapons built from it are too simplistic in nature, resulting in very limited uses. Finding a completely new direction for development is unrealistic.

As a successor of the Yin-Yang lineage, the path one can take is inherently extremely narrow. Even if one wants to break through one's own limits, it seems that one can only follow the predetermined path of the Four Symbols and Five Elements system. All great impermanences have probably had experiences of breaking through their limits. The Water Master Xuanwu broke through his limits by absorbing the White Tiger Seed, so how did Meng Zhang do it in the past? I'll try to use them as reference points.

Those two, aside from their inherent attributes, both possessed a secondary power of "alchemy" or "cultivation," while my "weapon crafting" was essentially unusable. In this light, my path seems even narrower, with only a single viable direction. Perhaps I am the only one among all the successors of the Vermilion Bird lineage to encounter such difficulties; it would be a miracle if I were to successfully become the Great Impermanence.

The Mountain Two Elements specifically praised Meng Zhang and the Water Master Xuanwu, so why didn't they praise me? Although, apart from the powerful strength and miraculous nature that I obtained in a muddled way, there's nothing to praise about me.

Perhaps it was because my head was resting on her soft belly with the little bowl on it, and I really felt pampered, that this strange thought popped into my head. They say a woman's embrace is a hero's grave, and although calling the embrace of a young girl a "haven of tenderness" felt a bit off, I couldn't let myself be led astray. I sorted out my thoughts and returned to the path of reason.

“A miracle”—perhaps I should focus my main efforts on this direction.

Ultimately, the Four Symbols and Five Elements belong to the realm of the Mountain and Yin-Yang. If one cannot forge one's own path, it is impossible to contend with the Mountain and Yin-Yang.

(End of this chapter)