I am an emotional anchor, one sentence can break the defense of the whole network

Chapter 200 Life is like a drama, it all depends on acting skills
“@军师, my mother-in-law likes to act pitiful in front of my husband and often cries, as if I bullied her.
He always says bad things about me behind my back, but my husband still believes him. What should I do? "

Raymond Lam: "Not my family, I'm an emotional strategist, not the fucking director of the Women's Federation, can you ask me something about love?

A little sweeter,

A happier one,

It's okay to be a little stupid.

There are several wheat fields and it's all trivial.

No matter how fucking awesome I am, I’m still only in my twenties.

I've never been married.

You come to me to ask about marriage issues.

And how the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along.

I dare to say this, do you dare to believe it? "

The comments on the barrage are all very credible.

Lin Feng was speechless: "You dare to believe it, but I dare not say it."

He turned around and looked at Yu Huanshui: "Brother Shui, you are familiar with this question, how about you tell me?"

Yu Huanshui smiled bitterly: "My mother passed away early, and I have never encountered such a situation."

Lin Feng was stunned: "I'm sorry, Brother Shui."

Yu Huanshui waved his hand: "It's okay, it's been many years, I let it go long ago."

Lin Feng nodded, turned back to the live studio and said:
"The following remarks only represent my personal thoughts and suggestions, please don't f*cking take them too seriously.

If any of my brothers’ defenses are broken, I won’t be able to accept it.

Go out and calm down, and don't throw punches in my comment section."

The screen is full of "Oh, my friend".

Lin Feng then said, “According to this sister’s description, your mother-in-law is most likely a histrionic personality.

People of this type have a strong desire to perform. They like to fake cry, act pitiful, and play the role of the weak victim.

Then he seeks sympathy and comfort from others, making them feel that he is the one who has paid the most and is being bullied.

Let others gang up on the person he doesn't like.

If the person he attacks is, for example, your wife.

If you are easy to compromise and have a high sense of morality, then you will have the illusion that he is so pitiful and it is all my fault.
Once this illusion is formed.

Then you will start to suppress your own needs, and no matter whether your mother-in-law's request is good or bad, you will do what she asks.

But you will feel very frustrated.

In fact, this type of people also use this trick when they play the role of a mother.

For example, some parents will teach their children from a young age that it is not easy for mom to raise you, how hard it is for mom, and that mom has spent her whole life for you.
You see, I didn’t divorce your father because of you.

You see, your father beat me and scolded me, but I didn't leave.

They are used to showing weakness and pretending to be pitiful, and then taking advantage of the children's guilt to make them obedient.

This is also one of the reasons why many mothers-in-law with histrionic personalities can easily control their sons.

So how do you deal with this kind of mother-in-law?
Two methods.

The first one is that you can act better than him, and she acts like she is bullied by her wife.

You have to act like a filial and considerate person who knows the general situation and is sensible.

When he cries, you should cry louder and more aggrieved than him.

remember,

When you cry, you should not blame your mother-in-law. You should say that you understand her very well and that your mother-in-law has had a very hard life.

You cry because you sympathize with her, not because she bullies you.

If she says bad things about you behind your back, you should say good things about her in front of everyone. You should say that my mother has had a very hard life, as she raised my husband by herself. My mother is very cheerful, open-minded and nice.

You should praise him and understand him in front of others.

At this time, if he says bad things about you again, others will say to him, how can you be such a mother-in-law?

Your daughter-in-law is so good, yet you are still not satisfied.

If he is still dissatisfied with you, he will have no place to speak out.

Or maybe others are confused by the smoke screen you two are throwing, they cry and you cry too, and they think, oh why is your family so troublesome, and they would like to stay away from it and don't want to care at all.

The second way is to stay away.

As I said before, give more gifts and meet less often, and definitely don't live together.

This is the best way to deal with all difficult relationships between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

As adults, we all have our own things to do, our own families and careers to take care of. How can we have so much free time to perform with the elderly?

. . . . . .

On the barrage.

"She Cries", "You Cry Too", "You Cry Even Worse Than Her"

"Life is like a play, it all depends on acting skills (dog head)."

Hahahaha.

"My family just had a performance at noon. My mother-in-law knelt on the ground and was dying. My husband came to her defense. There were three people against one person. At this time, everything I said was wrong. My husband didn't listen at all. The whole family's performance personality gave in."

"When I was pregnant, I was not feeling well, so my husband invited his mother to come over, thinking that she would make delicious food for me. But in the end, I had nothing to eat at noon, and I could only eat meat in the evening when my husband came back."

"The only thing missing from this mother-in-law is an Oscar for acting (laughing to death)."

"My mother-in-law was the same. She was young and ignorant at that time, and she and my husband were very wronged. I should have cried harder than my mother-in-law."

"After reading the comments, I found that so many mothers-in-law are like this. My mother-in-law also behaves very nicely to me in front of my husband. As soon as my husband leaves the house, I talk to her and she says she doesn't understand and just turns around and walks away."

"It's good that they left. I'm just afraid that some people will keep staring at me and find fault with me all day long."

"Mother-in-law is really more terrible than a mistress."

"It's better to stay away, otherwise it will be too tiring."

"What if we can't separate?"

"Then install a camera, and it will be clear who is right and who is wrong (sunglasses)."

Clicked.

. . . . .

Lin Feng: "But having said that, if the relationship between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good, remember that either your man has no emotional intelligence or your man has no strength.

Will a capable man have trouble getting along with his mother-in-law and daughter-in-law?
If you have anything to say, just tell me directly, okay? This is my wife, my woman, I support you, okay?

Or whenever my wife tells me something, she says she’s my mom, right?

If you want to give women enough support and enough strength, they will stop quarreling and fighting.

The second is lack of emotional intelligence. You will find that many men listen to their mothers complaining about their wives.

What would a man with no emotional intelligence say?
They usually say: Oh mom, no one is talking about you, they are not talking about you, don’t think too much about it. You have nothing to do every day, what are you thinking about, old lady?

At this time, your mother will definitely say that you have forgotten your mother after getting married, and then she will start to make trouble again.

But if you put it another way, you can tell him: Really? Is that so? She dared to say that to you? Mom, just wait and see, I will beat her tonight, and we will get a divorce.

You will find that your mother's attitude will change immediately.

Son,

Are you really getting divorced?
别，
There's nothing wrong between us, we were just arguing.

It's okay. It's really okay.

Your mother can handle it herself.

You see, that's it.

That is why we say that if the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good, it is the man's incompetence.
Although the words are not pleasant to hear.

But if we want family harmony, we still have a long way to go.”

. . . . .

On the barrage.

Xiao Wan: "Does my grandma dislike me? She always bullies my mom? When my dad found out, he went straight to my grandma and said: I can't bear to say anything about my wife, so why do you say that? If you bully my wife again, we'll cut off our relationship.

My dad is from the countryside, not well educated and has a bad temper, but ever since he had a quarrel with my grandma, my grandma has been very nice to my mom. "

Yaoyao: "Wow, uncle is so domineering."

July: "This is true. Many men are afraid that if they offend their mothers, the family will be in chaos every day, so they ask their wives to be patient, and the conflict escalates from mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to husband and wife.
But if the mother-in-law starts bullying the daughter-in-law, the husband should tell her clearly that she cannot do this. If he is strong and protects his wife, the relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law will improve. "

Xia Bao: "My husband doesn't dare to say that. If he does, my mother-in-law will cry and scream, saying that she has raised her son in vain and that her son and daughter-in-law bully her. She will not live any longer."

Xiao Ming: "It's the same in my family. My grandma bullies my mom, but I ignore her. But my dad is a loser and dare not speak out."

"Waste Dad (Dog Head)"

Hahahahaha.

. . . . .

okay,

Next person.

Ding~
"Hello, military advisor."

It's a boy.

Raymond Lam: "Hello buddy, what's the problem?"

Boy: "I don't have any problem. I just want to share a real problem that everyone will encounter."

Lin Feng: “What’s the problem?”

"From the bride price."

Raymond Lam: "Just want to share?"

"Yes! Because my situation is exactly the opposite of that sister just now."

Lin Feng raised his eyebrows: "What do you mean?"

"She was forced to lower the bride price because she got pregnant early, while my girlfriend was forced to raise the bride price because she got pregnant early."

Lin Feng smiled; "It's quite interesting, tell me about it."

"She and I were in a campus romance for about six years. We were planning to get married, but the relationship fell through because of the gift."

Raymond Lam: "How much is the gift?"

"20, but on top of that, you have to buy a house, which costs about 170 million.
We actually started discussing the betrothal gift a year ago.
At that time, she said that she would take the money and pay for the gift, then deduct some money for the food and drinks, and the rest would be given to both of us.

But we have been arguing about this.

We have never had such a big fight over a second thing, and it has gone around in circles. ”

Lin Feng: "What's the second thing?"

"There is no second thing."

Raymond Lam: "Let's say you have a good relationship and have been dating for 6 years. Basically, there are no major arguments, except for the issue of the betrothal gift this time, right?"

"Yes, this matter has not been resolved yet. This year, everyone is very tired.

Actually, we are from an ordinary family, and we are not that rich.
But we both have good jobs. I work in a central enterprise and he works in a state-owned enterprise. In fact, if we work hard together after marriage, we can pay off the mortgage.

We also agreed that I would pay the down payment, and then we would repay the loan together.

She still has less, I still have most,
And I'd like to put half of the house in her name."

Raymond Lam: "It's a good thing for a couple to have a good relationship and the ability to work together."

"But her family doesn't think so. Her parents think that the loan money should be repaid by both parties, so the half I give is half of the loan.
The down payment was paid by our family, so he felt that he might not get even half of the house.
So originally the betrothal gift was 10 yuan, but her parents changed it to 20 yuan.
But we have been together for six years, and I don’t believe she didn’t hear this sentence clearly.

Because the idea among us northerners is that since you can pay one dollar, I am willing to give you half of the house's name. That's what I think.

She is from the south, so she thought the half I mentioned was the half of the loan.
Also, she got pregnant early.

At that time, we had a breakdown in the discussion about the betrothal gift at the dinner table.
Because the woman felt that there was nothing wrong with me fighting for my daughter.

But it is really difficult for our family to come up with this extra penny after the down payment for the house.
Plus, she has a younger brother who is not particularly reliable or ambitious.

My parents thought that the 20 yuan would never be taken back.

I was worried that he would give it to his younger brother, that's what I thought.

Of course, from my subjective point of view, I believe that she would not do such a thing, and her family would not think so either.
But I can't change the thinking of my family.

My parents are more powerful.

So in the end, we couldn't agree on anything, and we couldn't keep the child.

The baby was already quite big at that time. When I saw the baby coming out of the basin in the hospital, I felt very sad. "

Lin Feng frowned: "Brother, you two are committing a sin."

"Yes, I admit it. In the beginning, we had already decided to get married because of the idea of ​​having a child, but we never thought it would end up like this. But at the dinner table, it was all about the temper of both parents."

Raymond Lam: "At the dinner table, you each stood for the interests of your own family, which led to the breakdown of your marriage that had not even started. At this point, it is no longer about feelings, but a confrontation between the two parties.

Everyone is working for their own interests, and no one is willing to compromise or give in, so what's the point of getting married?"

Boy: "That's right, but it has already happened. I will go to her for the last time.

I asked her, if you are willing to marry me even though I have no house or car?

She said no, but she could continue the relationship.
I was completely disappointed.”

Lin Feng: "Why are you giving up? You are such an idiot!"

Uh. .

Raymond Lam: "I know what you were thinking when you said that. All you want is a girl's firmness and attitude.

It's impossible for you to not have a house or a car, you just want the other party to have an attitude, right?
There seems to be nothing wrong with it.

but,
Boys and girls think differently.

When you say this to a girl,
Let me tell you, a girl will definitely refuse because of the risks to her future marriage, including possible obstruction from her parents.

Because what you said is a hypothesis and an ideal, but when a girl faces this kind of problem, she must be thinking about reality.

Can you say that she doesn't love you if she rejects you?

I don't love you, but I still say I can continue to be in a relationship with you?

The child was already that big, but he was taken out of the girl's body just because she disagreed with the bride price.

You still feel that you are the most wronged,

Actually,

Girls endure much more physical pain and mental stress than you do.

If she has any resentment towards you, there is no way she can continue to be in a relationship with you.

The reality is,

She is also very powerless.

She can't bear to leave you, but she can't fight back against her own family.

If you are a man, take the initiative to talk to the other party's parents and your own parents.

Don't just throw your fucking problems to women.

As a man, you feel you can't convince your parents.

Can she, a girl, do it?
Why do you think that because she loves you, she should be able to fight for you and her family?
Ask yourself,
Did you do it? ?

Six years of love,
Ah,
It's bullshit."

(End of this chapter)