first player

Chapter 937 Chapter 930 · "Run away, don't run away." (Thanks to the leader of "Shi Qi 17")
Su Mingan looked at Xiao Jingsan on the chair.

The young man covered his face, shrugged his shoulders, and completely lost his usual laxity.His pain and struggle were cut like a knife scraping flesh and blood in these few short jokes.

The peach petals on the ground seemed to be a little wet, curling up limply.Su Mingan looked away and looked at the vast starry sky.

The night sky is so vast, as if gathering the expectations of living beings.During the New Year's Eve, people once wrote blessings in Kongming lanterns and let them fly, like orange-red sparks.Maybe they think that in the sea of ​​thousands of stars invisible to the naked eye, there will be a bright light in their hearts.They will not know that Kongming Lantern can never become a star, it will only fall.

Su Mingan was thinking, during these years of being trapped in the palace, did the First Prince ever release the Kongming Lantern with his own hands?Or are you trapped by the strict palace rules, and you can't even see the Kongming lanterns of the common people?

Has he written down his ideals in his own hand?Have you left your blessings with your own hands?

During the days when you were locked in the tower, did you eat Yuanxiao?Have you ever seen a lantern?Or can you only vaguely see the lights of thousands of houses all over the mountains and plains in the capital through the small window?Or can you just smell your own blood and see the steam of cooking Lantern Festival rising from the eaves?
He may have dreamed of the palace lady and the white fox many times.Although he can only lie weakly on the bed, they can hold his hand in his dream, and lead him healthy to travel across the country, across the fields, climb high mountains, and jump across wide rivers , I saw paper kites in the sky and chickens and ducklings on the ground.

He will not abandon his responsibilities, so in his dream he will still be the eldest prince.But he is a eldest prince who is loved by his parents, who will not be locked up for blood collection, and who can go out of the palace to play.

There will be candied haws on the street. He has never seen a real candied haws, so he will imagine it, just like a scoop of candied haws smeared with sugar.There will also be people who make clothes in the tailor shop, and he has never seen it before, so he imagines that the tailors are ingenious and can make any clothes.

There will be a shadow double behind him to help carry the bag. The shadow double has no malice towards him, but just protects him along the way.

if that's the case,

...is really a wonderful dream.

Under the peach blossom tree, Xiao Jingsan seemed to be in this dream too.His fingers weakly covered his face, but he didn't let go.

His shoulders trembled slightly, and his fingers trembled.

He would never reveal these secrets in his life, and would only hold them in his heart until he died.But when he saw Su Mingan who took the initiative to die, he seemed to see that person again, and he couldn't hold back his throat.

"Xiao Jingsan." Su Mingan said softly.

"I actually thought about it, even if everyone in this generation of royal family is not suitable to be the donor of the alien king, I can wait." Xiao Jingsan's voice was hoarse:
"Obviously, I know in my heart that if I wait any longer, it is very likely that my lifespan will end, and it is very difficult to have the chance to resurrect the alien king."

"But I'm still thinking wishfully, I hope you will be more selfish, greedy, and considerate of yourself, so that at least, I can convince myself with the reason of 'you are not so similar'."

"But you have grown up to be the most beautiful. No matter how blind I am, how much I deceive myself, how much I beg myself to let go, I can't convince myself to give up this generation. I know very well that I can't wait anymore, and no one can compare You are more suitable."

"—I must revive the Alien King, this is my mission."

"—You must become a qualified monarch, and this is also your mission."

"So, at that moment - I suddenly realized that we are not people who will abandon our mission for each other. You will not become a cowardly and selfish person because you are afraid of death, and I will not give up resurrection because of my short-sightedness Alien King."

"We... are not wrong."

Xiao Jingsan let go of his hand suddenly, there were still no tears in his eyes, only reddish.

"No, it was me who was wrong."

"Obviously I had the purpose of being your shadow substitute from the beginning, but I just wanted to talk to you so many stories outside the palace, I just wanted to teach you how to practice swords, and I just wanted you to trust me... If there were no such things, I might have better."

"I've been thinking of letting someone replace you, but I can't."

"Feel sorry."

Su Mingan was silent.

At this moment, he suddenly understood why these fairies all have black hair and black eyes, because they are all the donors of alien kings that Xiao Jingsan has tried to cultivate over the years—if one of them is more similar than the eldest prince, he can replace the eldest prince fate.

Xiao Jingsan kept taking the eldest prince's blood in order to cultivate these people.At the beginning, he imprisoned the eldest prince to take blood——to save the eldest prince.

But, unfortunately, Su Shaoqing is the best.

No one is more brilliant than him, no one is better than him.No matter how they are cultivated and how they are guided, these imitators are not as good as him who was born so beautiful.

Xiao Jingsan has been doing a futile but shocking thing.

He is trying to - man-made "original".

As long as a person like Su Shaoqing is created, Su Shaoqing's fate of becoming a donor can be avoided.But no matter what, it just couldn't be done.As a result, there are more and more black-haired and black-eyed people on the island, which makes him more and more desperate.

Some people cannot be imitated.

In the end, Xiao Jingsan could only pick up the shackles with his own hands, and cut open a new wound on Su Shaoqing's arm—this was the first wound not for "saving" but for "hurting".

Its purpose has changed from "taking blood to create the original and saving Su Shaoqing" to "taking blood to hurt Su Shaoqing and waiting for Su Ming'an to come".

He personally killed the idea of ​​​​his own salvation.Drop the tip of the knife toward your heart.

"Shaoqing, do you want to drink?" Xiao Jing raised his glass to Su Mingan.

The surrounding fairies were silent and did not break his drunkenness.

Su Mingan raised his glass, but didn't drink it down.He wanted peach blossom wine just to lure Xiao Jing to drink it three times, and now that he has achieved his goal, he knows how much he has.

"I knew you couldn't drink." Xiao Jingsan laughed, raised his head to drink, the clear liquid flowed down his chin, penetrated into the black neckline, and a few drops wet the wooden plaque on his waist.

【Xiao Jingsan】The three big characters are still deeply engraved on the wooden sign, and the ink traces outline the wild notches.No matter what time it was, he always remembered that he was Xiao Jingsan, not someone who triumphantly took away Su Shaoqing's identity.

At this moment, looking at Xiao Jingsan who was drinking by himself under the peach blossom tree, a hazy image of memory suddenly flashed before Su Mingan's eyes.

……

"Ding dong!"

【You got Su Shaoqing's memory. 】

[You get 50 Dream Patrol points. 】

……

Under the peach blossom tree, a little black-haired boy was sitting on a swing, humming a little song.

"Outside the screen window, the glaciers are tinkling."

"One watch, the iron horse passed my room."

"At midnight, the white bird weeps in its dream,"

"At the fifth watch, the bronze mirror accompanies the figure, everything belongs to you, one flower, one world, one leaf, one Bodhi."

"The mortal world floats in the air, and the blessings last till dawn..."

The branch shook, and a large piece of peach blossom petals fell, hitting the little boy all over.The little boy pursed his lips, raised his head and shouted towards the branch: "Your Highness, don't climb the tree, if Mammy sees it, you will frighten her again."

When the peach blossom tree moved, it felt as if it was bathed in the spring breeze. Thousands of pink petals fluttered and fell, and a young man poked his head out from between the branches of the tree: "Xiao Jingsan, I just want to see if I can see outside the palace wall if I climb this tree. world."

"Your Highness, your brain is broken." Xiao Jingsan shook his head secretly, if this eldest prince is so stupid, can he still be the donor of a king of different species in the future.He sighed and said, "Your Highness, your current location is in the center of the palace. Outside this palace wall, it is still a palace wall. Outside this palace wall, there is still a palace wall, which you cannot see."

With a crash, another large piece of peach petals fell down, like a red blanket, almost covering Xiao Jingsan's whole body.

Xiao Jingsan pushed away the petals on his body, feeling helpless.

Su Shaoqing jumped down: "Besides the palace wall, is there still a palace wall..."

Xiao Jing said: "Yes."

Su Shaoqing said: "Actually, I know."

Xiao Jingsan said: "Then why are you still climbing trees? Last night, I was just studying until Yinshi, and today I got up to study again before Maoshi. I am really worried about you."

Su Shaoqing shook her head: "I know, there is a palace wall outside the palace wall. But I have to climb a tree to take a look, so I can know how high it is beyond the palace wall. I have to try it myself to know the height outside the palace wall. Will the palace walls be unstoppable, will I be able to see outside the palace, I want to see what the moon looks like outside the palace."

Xiao Jingsan smiled and said, "Not bad, please keep this idea. However, the moon outside the palace is no different from that inside the palace."

Su Shaoqing was surprised, he looked at Xiao Jingsan's face: "Aren't you telling me not to climb trees this time?"

Xiao Jingsan stood up, his eyes were deep for a moment, and he quickly returned to his usual smile: "I can't change what you are going to do. Isn't that what you are? It's just that I hope you can become better, Hope you don't get any better."

Su Shaoqing said: "What kind of contradictory psychology is this? Of course it should be the former. Even if it's not for me, it should be for the people."

... more and more alike.

...It is also more and more in line with the requirements of the donor.

Xiao Jingsan hid the pain in his eyes, he didn't know whether he should be happy for this resemblance, or should feel despair.

How happy would the people be to have such a monarch?But it is difficult for him to belong to this world.

But Su Shaoqing couldn't see the haze, he could only see the smile on Xiao Jingsan's face, like the Chaoyan flower in the northeast corner of the palace.

The concubines don't like Chaoyanhua, they think it has a short flowering period, and they think it is unlucky to live and die like a mayfly.No one likes to see it.Only they like to see it. Xiao Jingsan said that it is a frivolous yet solemn flower. The frivolity lies in the fact that it ends its flowering period so quickly, and the solemnity lies in the fact that it disdains to compete for beauty and does not care about worldly desires at all.

"Xiao Jingsan." Squatting in front of the flowers, Su Shaoqing said.

"What's the matter?" Xiao Jingsan held the dog's tail grass in his mouth.

"If I really can't get out of the palace walls and see the world in the future, you can sprinkle a pot of peach blossoms in front of my grave, put a few bunches of candied haws, and let me know what it's like." Su Shaoqing said.

Xiao Jingsan's heart tightened, but he said: "This day will never happen."

Su Shaoqing shook her head: "The world is unpredictable, and the royal family is the most chaotic place. I only trust you and Sister Bailian in my heart. She is not good at force and is afraid of water. She is easily bullied. If I am really harmed by someone, when the time comes It's up to you to protect her."

Xiao Jingsan was silent.

...The most trustworthy people are Bai Lian and him.

But he knew very clearly in his heart that it was he who would do the most harm in the future.

It is precisely because of his own extremely sober cognition that it is making him more painful now.It was as if thousands of ants were gnawing at his heart, and with the gentle words heard in his ears, the burning pain became deeper and deeper.

Fate is like a poisonous snake clinging to his back.

Looking at Su Shaoqing with clear eyes, he finally tasted what an ugly thing the word "fate" is.It will distort your ideals, break your spine, pierce your ideas, crush your hard bones, and finally stand in the sun and tell you proudly—this is "destiny".

Does it have to be like this?
It must be like this.

"Your Highness." Xiao Jingsan said suddenly.

"Huh?" Su Shaoqing said.

Xiao Jingsan pressed his heart, suppressed his heartbeat:

"Run away."

"Flee to a place where no one can see. Don't let me see you, don't let me have a chance to find you. Forever."

This is the final warning.

Su Shaoqing blinked.

He twisted a peach blossom petal on his shoulder, folded it into the shape of a paper airplane, and plunged it into Xiao Jingsan's hair with a whoosh.

"..." Xiao Jingsan quickly tore off this childish thing.His mental age is far older than Su Shaoqing, and he doesn't like this kind of thing.

Su Shaoqing twirled the petals, but smiled firmly:

"Xiao Jingsan, Xiao Jingsan, have you forgotten what you just said?"

Xiao Jingsan said in a daze, "What did I say?"

I said let you escape!
Get out of my sight forever, while I'm in a rush, before I change my mind.Go see the kite you want to see, see the prosperity of Datong you want to see!

"you say--"

Under the peach blossom tree, the black-haired boy frowned, with a small body, but he remembered everything in the world far bigger than him.

It seems that all the vastness of the world has been concentrated in his little heart, and he has never regretted it or forgotten it.

"Outside this palace wall, it's still a palace wall."

The boy twists the petals:

"Besides this peach blossom tree, there is still a peach blossom tree. I will never escape."

"Besides, I don't want to run away. If I leave, those kids who sell candied haws, those old women who make paper kites, those girls who sew clothes, when I really see their misfortunes with my own eyes, I will never leave again." There's nothing you can do. That's what makes me most desperate."

"If you don't have the shackles that bind you, and you blindly choose your desires, you will cease to be human."

"so."

The teenager smiled:
"So be it."

"I will try my best to live until the day when the prosperity of Datong is realized."

"You also try to protect me until the day you see me together. The people live and work in peace and contentment, and every family can have money to buy candied haws and new clothes."

"Okay? Xiao Jingsan."

Su Shaoqing waited for his answer.

"..."

At this moment, Xiao Jingsan seemed to hear the mournful cries in his soul, looking back at the eyes that reflected all living beings in the world.

Like the roar of a whale in the deep sea, the mournful cry was silent in the vast sea, falling into the dark seabed, and no one could hear it.He tried to call for help, but couldn't speak, tried to howl, but the sea water poured down his throat.

—Run away, don't run away, run away, don't run away, run away, don't run away.

Please, please, please.

These words echoed repeatedly in his mouth like a branding iron, but in the end he became sober that he could not utter a single word.

He took the peach petals and held them in his mouth, as if drinking a bowl of peach blossom wine.Mouth full of bitterness and no fragrance.

"it is good."

He didn't know how he said this word, he just felt that it didn't sound like a human voice, but like a demon roaring.

Deceit, lies, betrayal, ugly.

Kind, compassionate, merciful, wonderful.

They were so bright and dark, they were able to stand together, and in the end, the dark usurped everything of the light.

he was thinking,
If their positions could be changed, that would be the ending in line with the righteous path in the world.

unfortunately,

Fate is involuntary, indecisive.

If other people's life has a beginning and an end, then Su Shaoqing's life can see the future and the end at a glance.

They have something that they cannot give up even if they die.

So none of them can escape this fate.

Finally, Xiao Jingsan pushed open the door silently, and came with a copper basin and iron chains.At that moment, Su Shaoqing, who had grown up, didn't need to speak. He looked at the First Prince's badge on Xiao Jingsan's waist, and at the height outside the window, and suddenly understood what the future would be.

Xiao Jingsan watched as the light in Su Shaoqing's eyes dimmed little by little, and there was still a bud of a spark.He walked to the bed silently, fastened the iron chain like a walking dead, and took out the knife.

"Say something." Xiao Jingsan said.

"..."

"Your Highness." Xiao Jingsan gradually took on a pleading look.

"..."

However, the First Prince leaned against the wall and said nothing.

The candlelight of the copper lamp reflected on the wall, like a thread about to break.There was nothing in his eyes.

The starry sky outside the window was covered by dark clouds, dense, oppressive, and endlessly dark.

No stars, no moon.

Only the sound of blood flow.

The ideals and promises of youth are like an absurd and distant dream, and the desire for prosperity and freedom is more like an absurd dream within a dream.
And now,
He who believes in dreams is dead forever.

……

(End of this chapter)