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Chapter 1302 Chapter One Thousand Two Hundred and Ninety-Nine·""Moonlight Song""

The woman looked at him and smiled.

Hair tied into a bun, curved willow-shaped eyebrows, and a mute look in the eyes.

It's that look.

She would give him this look every time she ordered him to play the piano.

At this moment, Su Mingan seemed to have returned to the countless nights when he practiced "Moonlight Sonata"... Dingling, dingling, the grainy piano sound was like falling moonlight. When he looked out the window, he could see the moonlight hidden in the dark clouds. His palms were burning with pain, and he couldn't tell whether the keys were white or red.

When he was a child, he didn't understand why his parents always quarreled about "money". This word seemed to have countless magical powers. Even the most loving couple could not escape this curse. "Money" is a sharp blade that can cut into all the vows of love.

It was not until he saw his mother crying loudly because of a bag of rotten vegetables that he vaguely realized something in his heart, as if a string suddenly broke.

"...He won't come back at all. He will only care about guns, thieves and robbers." She sat among the rotten leaves and hugged him, her chest throbbing:
"He is a great hero, and some people thank him, but what's the point? Can it get him money? Can it make him care about your growth? If he doesn't go home all day, what's the point of that little money?"

"Why do even the vendors in the vegetable market bully me... Before I got married, I was also a little girl whose fingers would never touch water, but now my hands are covered with frostbite..."

"Ming'an, Ming'an, you must not be like him in the future. No one will be grateful to a hero. Even if they are grateful, your efforts and sacrifices can never be recovered... Don't say empty words like "protecting everyone". Even if others are moved for a few months, give you flowers, and sing your praises, your relatives will suffer for the rest of their lives..."

"The most important thing is to survive. If you die, you will have nothing..."

His mother hugged him, her hot tears fell on him, and she spoke those unforgettable words in a hoarse voice. Those were the truths she had learned from her own life and the fruits of her sorrow.

At this moment, what Su Mingan thought in his mind was not "saving others is wrong", but - "marriage is indeed a disaster."

If you are lucky, you will live a comfortable life. If you are unlucky, you may find irreconcilable problems after marriage, which will leave you with a lifetime of trivialities and indelible pain.

So he pulled her sleeve and whispered, "Let's finish it, Mom. Don't go on."

Lin Wangan was born into a family of pianists. Before marriage, she had a beautiful face, a graceful demeanor, and was a master of art. She was always gentle and happy. But for some reason, ever since he was born, she has always had a sad face and a heart full of sadness.

Did he bring it?
...He was her chain, trapping her here. If she left him behind, she might be happier.

He sincerely advised her to leave here, but the words of a child were ineffective. Once any truth reached the mouth of a child, it would become childish and laughable.

Then she suddenly became hysterical, as if she was angered by his words, and slapped him:

"A little kid is actually advising his parents to divorce!"

"You are such an ungrateful bastard! You are such an ungrateful bastard! You are not the one who should butt in on this matter? You are just a little brat, what do you know? Who taught you to say that? Did you watch some bad stuff on the Internet again!? This is the fault of the game!"

He doesn't understand.

All he knew was that she was unhappy at home. He wanted her to be happy. He saw no happiness in this marriage, only a resentful person who cried all day.

But the burning pain on his cheek reminded him that he had said the wrong thing. The only condition for children to judge whether their ideas are correct is whether adults have hit them.

He was beaten, so he was wrong.

But he still wanted to "save" her from the quagmire, even though she said that saving people was wrong.

But before he could say anything, he saw her stand up, walk to the computer desk, and smash the keyboard with an angry look on her face.

"Wow—"

The keycaps fell to the ground like a dark gray snow. The crackling sound was like sharp thorns hitting his heart, and his whole body trembled.

"It's all because of the things on the Internet! You must have made some shady friends who taught you to say such things..." She pointed the finger at people outside the family: "Don't go online in the future. If I hear such things again, I will beat you to death..."

At this moment, looking at the disheveled woman, Su Mingan covered his painful cheek and looked at the photo hanging on the wall - that was a photo of Lin Wangan when he was young.

In the photo, she has a ponytail, long eyebrows, rosy cheeks, beautiful lipstick, a delicate chiffon dress, and a small branded shoulder bag. She looks at the vast sea, walks on the golden beach towards the waves, the night falls, the sky is full of stars, and the light captured in her eyes at that moment seems to be included in the countless sea of ​​stars. She has walked a long way and been to a very far place, just to capture the romantic inspiration of the notes.

That day, she must have seen herself performing on the world stage.

But now, he only saw her crying day and night, and the farthest she went was the vegetable market.

The fire in her eyes went out.

But a new fire was burning in her chest. Su Mingan recognized it, and her teacher had also taught her that the name of that fire was "love".

It turns out that she would rather trap herself in a cocoon because of "love".

She gave up her dream of the stars and the sea, and locked herself in the vegetable market and the kitchen, just staring at his gradually growing height.

Su Mingan couldn't judge whether this was right or wrong. Perhaps everyone had different choices, but she had been so free before, and was not a vassal of anyone... This made him gradually begin to fear the word "love".

——What is love?
Is it a brainwashing agent? Or a poison? It traps a person in a small world, making him or her unable to walk out and crying day and night?
It also makes a person become a great hero, neglecting his wife and children, always bravely devoting himself to the front line of protecting the people, and not regretting that he might die heroically?

——But aren’t the former’s “love” and the latter’s “love” the same thing? Why do they lead to completely opposite results?
——Why does the former's "love" hinder the latter's "love"?

——Why does the latter’s “love” make the former’s “love” become sharp and painful?
The young child was confused. He asked the neighbor girl and the teacher, but they gave different answers, but none of them could answer his question.

Until the day when he was eight years old, Su Mingan finally got the answer to this question——

That day, Lin Wangan was smiling, which was unusual for her. Even though he played a few notes wrong, she did not hit his hand with a stick.

"Why are you so happy today, Mom?" he asked, looking up.

"Because something very happy will happen today!" She seemed to have turned into a young girl again, with a look of anticipation similar to that in the photo. Something shiny was moving in her eyes, and Su Mingan guessed that it was the sea of ​​stars that she had long lost.

He glanced at the calendar quietly. His father was on duty today, so it was impossible for him to come home to surprise her. Today was not their wedding anniversary, and even if it was their wedding anniversary, it would be difficult for their father to come home. So why was his mother so happy?
He smelled the aroma of red bean paste. Today his mother cooked red bean porridge and put it in a bowl on the table. When she stirred it, a sticky and sweet aroma came out.

"You continue practicing, I'll go cook." Mom said this and left the room with a smile on her face.

Su Mingan continued to practice the piano, and this practice lasted at least three hours every day.

"Ding-dong-ding-dong-"

The clock on the wall was ticking. The Moonlight Sonata was playing under his palms, and his heart was gradually filled with curiosity... Mom hadn't been this happy for a long time. He wanted to know why. He wanted to know why.

If he knew the reason why she was happy, even if she didn't want to leave here, he could create this kind of happiness at ordinary times to make her feel better.

……

[“Like a boat rocking on the moonlit surface of Lake Lucerne in Switzerland…”]

……

He stood up quietly and walked towards the door.

...Hurry, hurry, hurry.

If the piano stopped playing for too long, his mother would notice and would scold him for not playing, and the opportunity would be gone.

At this moment, even though his fingers left the keys, he seemed to still hear the lingering "Moonlight Sonata", the notes of C sharp minor dancing beside his ears, the notes that rose and fell, the interludes of expanding and contracting fingers...

He quickened his pace, left his room, walked through the narrow corridor, and headed towards his mother's room at the end of the corridor...

……

[“…from far, far away, as if from the invisible depths of the soul, a silent voice suddenly rose. Some of the voices were melancholy, full of infinite sorrow; others were contemplative, with a stream of memories and dark omens…”]

……

My mother's door was not completely closed, leaving a gap, and the dim light spilled out, giving the pure black corridor a layer of warm color.

Su Mingan carefully placed his hand on the door. The aroma of red beans became more and more fragrant, making him want to eat that bowl of red bean paste.

Wait a little longer, until he finds out why his mother is happy, then go and eat it right away.

He gently opened the door -

"Squeak-"

The warm yellow light fell into his eyes. Everything in front of him was soft and blurry, like the moonlight still playing beside his ears.

Click.

He heard the sound of his heart stopping, like biting into a clear and crisp apple.

……

[“Facing the sea, the moonlight is rising from where the water and the sky meet. The sparkling sea surface is instantly covered with silver light. The moon rises higher and higher, passing through wisps of light clouds like gauze…”]

……

Thin and bright red blood.

The lingering high and low notes, the distinct grainy sound of the piano - from then on, they never left his ears.

Moonlight, moonlight...

The moonlight was like a veil, falling softly from the window. Through this layer of hazy yellowish mist, he saw - long jet-black hair spread all over the ground like a long winding snake, and a woman lying quietly on the bed, wearing a white chiffon dress and beautiful lipstick.

Her wrist fell into the basin of water, and strands of red stuff floated out, one by one, the bright red piercing his eyes.

It smells so good. It smells so good.

What a fragrant red bean paste... The sweet and gentle aroma kept slipping into his nostrils,
It turned out that the smell of blood and red bean paste blended so perfectly. He swallowed subconsciously, unable to tell whether he smelled the red bean paste in the living room or her flowing blood.

——She was so pale, almost like a thin sketch.

It turns out that what she meant today when she said "something very happy will happen" was this - she finally made up her mind to leave.

He thought about the chance glance he had this morning when he saw her sitting in front of her computer, with the screen full of online comments criticizing her piano skills. He seemed to understand the reason for her happiness.

"Mom...?" He walked in, his mind stagnant and confused.

Her gaze moved intermittently, finally landing on him.

"..."

His lips moved as if he was saying something.

But the piano music next to Su Mingan's ears was too loud. "Moonlight Sonata" lingered in his mind, and those high and low notes kept bothering him.

He forgot how he walked to her side, listened to what she begged and cried, and then watched her silently.

He didn't save her. She had finally made up her mind. If he overturned the basin at this moment, she would be in agony.

But what he didn't expect was that in the end she was the one who knocked over the basin of water, gave up on committing suicide, and sat on the ground all wet, and he couldn't tell whether it was blood, water, or red bean paste all over his body.

……

[“Suddenly, a strong wind blew up on the sea, rolling up huge waves. The waves, shining brightly in the moonlight, rushed towards the shore one after another…”]

……

She sat on the ground, wet, not looking at him, but looking out the window.

The Moonlight Sonata, which was not played by anyone, seemed to flow into her ears at this moment.

He didn't understand why she gave up. Maybe she left the door open on purpose. If he cared about her, stopped playing the piano and went to find her, she would stop committing suicide. If he didn't go to find her, it meant she deserved to die.

The child came over and expressed concern about her behavior - once again she voluntarily put herself into the "cage".

If he didn't come, she would leave peacefully. This was her last struggle in the world.

Su Mingan felt confused. Should he not have come? His concern seemed to push her into the vortex of pain again.

But the mother suddenly hugged Su Mingan, crying and wailing, telling her struggle and pain, saying: Because you are here, I will not leave. Mom is sick and can't control herself, but mom really loves you...

Su Mingan covered his chest. He felt as if a strange fire was rising in his chest. This fire began to resonate with the fire in his mother's chest, like the pain of an unbreakable bloodline, making the pain of both of them continuous.

He could not forgive her domestic violence, but he had long understood her pain.

But at this moment, moonlight, moonlight.

The moonlight flowed like snow-white waves, rushing towards them one after another, like a boat swaying on the moonlit surface of Lake Lucerne in Switzerland...

This made the paroxetine and citalopram on the table glow with a light yellow hue, the blades that fell to the ground sparkled like water, and the photo of the young woman on the wall glowed with a happy smile...

……

That night, he looked into his mother's pupils.

There was moonlight in her pupils.

……