Warhammer: I don't want to be a stinky can! ! !

Chapter 892 Dimension 2 - Magical Girl Salad

Mortalian's magical girl form is a grumpy-faced girl dressed in a pale, mournful robe that reaches her feet. The robe has no lace or intricate patterns, only a deathly white. A huge hat on her head has a white cloth hanging from its brim, completely obscuring any gaze that dares to peek inside.

Holding a huge, sharp scythe that resembles a cross, Mortalian was already quite tall, but her weapon was even taller and thinner than she was.

Her best friend Hattie was puzzled by this. This slightly plump lady had repeatedly bent down to lift Mortalian's white cloth, wanting to see Mortalian's face after her transformation. Mortalian would only back away and not let Hattie see her.

More than once, Hades kept bending over to squeeze in, while Mortalian kept backing away, neither of them watching where they were going. In the end, Mortalian tripped over a bump behind her, and the two of them fell flat on their faces.

Karas, watching from afar: *Sigh*

How can you see the road like that?

"can."

Well, as long as she could see the road, Hades didn't think about it too much. After all, it was all due to the power of magic. However, she was still curious about Mortalian's makeup sometimes—was it the same style as hers? After all, their magical girl forms were quite similar.

Hades' magical girl form is a girl wearing a black short dress, with a black and green puff-sleeved shirt on top, a pointed V-neck, and metallic green silk interspersed throughout.

The skirt reached her thighs, and a viscous, flowing black liquid continuously oozed from beneath it. From a distance, it looked as if Hatice was wearing a long skirt with a unique openwork hem. The length of the skirt would change depending on the intensity of the battle.

With the transformation, Hades will automatically apply makeup with one click. The makeup style is similar to a gothic skull, but because she has taken too good care of herself, her face is a bit chubby, and the skull-style makeup that was supposed to be used to intimidate enemies looks a bit comical instead.

Hades' weapon is a black scythe that she transforms from her ability, the Dark Domain. At first, Hades could only transform bricks, but after meeting Mortalian, who wielded a giant scythe with unparalleled skill and power, Hades immediately fell under Mortalian's spell and became a loyal scythe enthusiast.

Karas was quite disdainful of this, since she had arrived first—Karas's style was also very similar to Mortalian's, with a pale long dress adorned with light green botanical patterns.

In the magical girl anime, the long-mourning scythe-wielding characters, led by Mortalian, Hades, and Karas, are called the Death Guardians. Except for Hades, the fighting styles of the others are also very consistent: silently chop off your dog's head with a scythe.

However, being a magical girl is just a small part of life—Hades firmly believes this. After all, people don't have to become magical girls all the time and fight Chaos Beasts. Sleeping in class, skipping class to go to internet cafes, doing part-time jobs after class, and spending all their pocket money on snacks and comics are all very necessary.

Mortalian was originally the complete opposite; she always pessimistically believed that fighting and dying in some battle was her destiny. Hades comforted Mortalian for a long time—Don't worry! No one has ever heard of a magical girl dying in a battle against a Chaos Beast.

"Ignore her, that girl is just having a fit of chuunibyou (middle school syndrome)," Karas commented disdainfully.

Anyway, that's how it is. The good news is that Mortalian met Hatice. This person who either goes to fight or stays in her dorm researching weird things after class has finally met someone who can drag her out to play. Actually, Hatice is also willing to stay in her dorm if she has nothing to do, but, sigh! The convenience store over there is having a half-price sale on potato chips!
So Hattie rode her bicycle with lightning speed to snag half-price cucumber chips, her enthusiasm far exceeding her enthusiasm for fighting Chaos Beasts.

"Hehehe, where's your little darling?"

Mortalian remained silent. The middle school student in school uniform calmly tossed down his schoolbag. In the alley, a mournful wind howled past the grave. A huge human figure rose from the white cloth, its thin, bony hands gripping a giant scythe.

“Conrad…”

"Motalian said in a hoarse voice, and the giggles from the dim alley grew louder. Then a pale girl in tattered clothes stepped out. Koz swaggered out, her eyes completely black except for a little white. Her tattered skirt was stretched taut by her bones, and the various accessories that decorated it looked like small bows sewn from human skin. Dirt left shrill patterns on the hem of her skirt, and different vulgar words were sewn into human skin buttons on her pale, bare skin.

"Speak your mind."

Mortalian said calmly, the scythe dragging on the ground, making a hissing sound.

"Don't you think the Chaos Beasts have gotten stronger lately?"

Koz jumped onto a nearby telephone pole and pulled out the head of a Chaos Beast from somewhere. With a thud, the four-colored head smashed to the ground.

Mortalian frowned, crouched down, and began to carefully examine the Chaos Beast's corpse.

Chaos Beasts are composed of four colors: pink, red, green, and blue. They appear in various parts of the city from time to time, causing damage to society. If it weren't for the magical girls' intervention, the Chaos Beasts might have plunged society into chaos.

Fortunately, magical girls exist. Most people in human society are unaware of the existence of Chaos Beasts; only magical girls know about them.

"what do you want to say?"

Mortalian asked,

“I keep dreaming, I see... I see a bloody battle... Some of us are destined to die, hehehe, what a pity.”

"That person will be me."

Mortalian said calmly that she was prepared for this. She was the embodiment of misfortune and silence. No one loved her, no one expected anything from her, and she longed for a peaceful, eternal silence.

"Then I'll gladly accept your little cutie."

"..."

"roll!"

In an instant, the giant scythe was already at Koz's neck, the icy touch pressing against his skin. Koz laughed maniacally, gasping for breath. A moment later, Mortalian swung the scythe, but nothing appeared before her except the night.

See you next time, cute guy~

Mortalian felt like she was going to vomit; Koz loved saying these kinds of things to deliberately disgust her.

But she did begin to seriously consider the implications of this issue, and it was clear that many of her sisters had a very good impression of Hattie—a social genius who could almost seamlessly blend into every small group.

Killiemann extended an olive branch to Hattie more than once. That damn student council academic representative, even though Hattie slept through class, her grades were still among the top three in the grade—the other two being Killiemann and Fugrim, but they both said that Saint Gilles controlled the grades.

Killieman admires Hattie's plans and views on future career development. Why the hell does a magical girl need to consider employment, certifications, and applying to Ivy League schools? Mortalian never thinks about these things. Going to work is an extremely boring and terrifying thing. Only someone like Killieman would think about such issues.

Or perhaps it's Anglon, the red-haired boss who loves close combat and also likes Hades. Hades is a rare person who is good at both close combat and talking about Lacan, although Mortalian doesn't understand why someone like Anglon, who often fights in the streets, would like Lacan—Hades says Anglon is actually very gentle—okay.

"Motalian! I bought it! That lady was so kind; she gave me a free bag of chicken feet flavor out of three cucumber flavor bags! Coke was on sale too, so I bought five large bottles of Coke!"

Hattie, carrying a bunch of things, walked towards Mortalian like a mobile armed fortress. Mortalian had to put aside her thoughts about Gilliman and Anglon and hurriedly deactivated her transformation to take Hattie's snack bag. The weight of the bag in her hand told her that Hattie had definitely bought more than just potato chips and cola.

"What's wrong, Mortalian?"

"Coz just came to provoke me."

"Ah... doesn't she still remember the beating she got last time?"

I don't think so.

………………

That happened one Sunday afternoon.

It was just an ordinary afternoon.

The cicadas chirped incessantly outside the window in the height of summer. It was like a giant steamer outside, unbearably hot. As soon as Hadis entered the dormitory, she hurriedly took off her school uniform and changed into her bathrobe, then rushed to the air conditioner and blew the air out of her bathrobe.

At that moment, Mortalian wasn't messing with her strange bottles and jars. She was staring blankly at the crucible on the table, with an alcohol lamp slowly burning underneath. Inside the crucible was chicken stew with mushrooms and instant noodles—the kind Karas wanted to eat, but the turkey noodles that Hattis had specifically requested hadn't been cooked yet.

"Ah-cool!"

Hades, who was hurriedly getting some air conditioning, rushed over like a bull, pushing aside Karas who was reading comics. Without hesitation, she grabbed the chopsticks she had borrowed from the cafeteria and reached directly at the crucible—Karas screamed, but it was obviously too late to stop her.

Hattie ate most of the packet of instant noodles in one go.

"My—dinner! Hattie!!!"

Karas used a body slam on Hattis, and Mortalian watched as Hattis slid through the air like a shrimp, the instant noodles in her mouth still splashing juice in the air.

She blinked, looking at the few remaining instant noodles in the pot, wondering whether to make her noodles or cook some for Hades first.

The dorm next to theirs was noisy; the Ultramarines' dorms were packed with people, with sixteen of them crammed into one room. Mortalian didn't know what Gilleyman was thinking. In the hallway, the atmosphere in the World Eater's arena was intense, and the noise was so loud that Magnus, who was having a book sharing session, had to stick his head out and tell them to be quiet.

It was an ordinary afternoon, nothing special—until the head of student affairs, Makado, stormed into the girls' dormitory and frantically yelled at them to run.

Then everything became chaotic. The next moment, Makado was overturned by some enormous force, along with half of the girls' dormitory building. The concrete building turned into colorful, huge pieces of debris in the air. A corner of the sky was torn open, and some huge, indescribable, and eerie being descended upon its followers.

Chaos Beasts, Chaos Beasts are everywhere.

All the magical girls transformed, and chaos ensued. The magical girls from different factions fought each other, and the roars of Chaos Beasts, along with the sounds of gunfire and swords, filled the air. Some fell, some bled, and some had limbs severed. Koz laughed and laughed and laughed.

"I told you I was right!"

Mortalian ignored Ricci, her long scythe slashing like a reaper, taking away the lives of the Chaos Beasts piece by piece. Hades was further ahead—her dark domain would affect the performance of the other magical girls, so Hades was used to staying away from the main battlefield.

She was at the very front, charging forward relentlessly. A black domain flowed beneath her skirt, and wherever it passed, life vanished. The Chaos Beasts didn't even have time to scream before they melted into the black domain.

The torn corner of the sky had not yet healed when nine giant hands with nine fingers stretched out, as if manipulating a marionette. A huge, terrifying Chaos Beast, as tall as a twenty-story building, appeared between the threads of its fingers, a pure, brilliant blue—something they had never seen before.

The moment the behemoth appeared, it blew Gillyman away. The next moment, the behemoth's neck suddenly stretched out—and precisely swallowed Hades's head—the body dangling between the behemoth's teeth.

? !
Mortalian's pupils contracted sharply. She tried to rush over—but it was too late. Everything had happened too fast, as if—as if—they had just been fighting over instant noodles.

She should have made turkey noodles for Hattie first.

"Hattis?!?"

She reached out in vain and ran frantically toward that direction—but then something strange happened. From the depths of darkness, a burst of light—a pure black burst of light—exploded from the center of the battlefield, instantly engulfing everyone and all the Chaos Beasts. It was as if people's souls were enveloped and licked by some enormous tongue for a moment, leaving them weak, nauseous, and wanting to escape.

But Mortalian sensed—it was Hattis.

"Holy crap, magical girl? This is so tacky."

Time seemed to have passed for a long time, yet it also seemed like only a moment, or perhaps an eternity. People lay sprawled among the ruins, surrounded by darkness, utterly bewildered by what had happened.

But Mortalian might understand a little bit.

She tried hard to open her eyes and climb forward—she was the most resilient and resistant one, but no, it was too dark, too gloomy.

She could vaguely hear some words through her bleeding ear.

"Old man Huang, this is too much of an eyesore. What kind of brown-skinned muscle man wears a short skirt? The hem of your skirt is about to rip."

"A unique feature of the world."

"Then why can't you become a woman? Isn't that a unique feature of the world?"

He has become just another face in the crowd.

"Me, you, sigh... never mind."

"time to go."

"Can I go say goodbye?"

"You're awake now, and once you're awake, you can't."

"Then I'll sleep a little longer, and you can give me a psychic amnesia slap."

"Row."

Then came some incomprehensible chanting, followed by the clattering of low and high heels. Mortalian felt someone pick her up and gently place her down against the wall.

"I'm leaving, Mortalian."

The girl wrapped her arms around Mortalian's hands and rubbed them gently.

"Eat well and live well. It's a pity you can't be a magical girl anymore, but I think you definitely have the talent to become a top pharmacist."

"Huh...huh..."

Mortalian tried to speak, but blood filled her throat, and she couldn't utter a sound.

"If all else fails, you can go find Killieman for tutoring... no, do whatever makes you happy, you're free, do whatever you want."

What about you...

Mortalian tried to speak, but no words came out. She hovered on the edge of will and unconsciousness, trying to swim back, but she couldn't say anything.

You just left like that...

Mortalian wanted to speak, but her body drooped like a kite with a broken string. The warm hands withdrew, carrying a resolute determination that Mortalian could not comprehend. The sound of footsteps rang out again as she walked away step by step.

Hattis...

Mortalian stretched out her hand with all her might, but it was still too dark. She lifted the curtain that obscured her vision, and at the end of her sight, at the end of the sky, at the end of fate, she saw a dark and golden sun.

Right in the center of her gaze, although next to Hades was their muscular male principal in a short, ripped gold skirt, his powerful muscles were incredibly imposing. The skirt stretched taut, pushing its limits, and the miniskirt was like a golden chain embellishing the smooth lines of this muscular beast, making his body beneath the fabric even more alluring. His long hair danced gracefully in the air, but Mortalian's gaze remained fixed on that familiar person.

No—that's not Hades—that's—Pluto.

Half of her head turned into metal, with silvery-white specks of metal floating around her. The white-haired girl was arguing helplessly with Neos when, as if sensing something, she suddenly turned around and looked at Mortalian with a smile.

Lie.

Hattis reached out and made a shushing gesture.

Eat well.

The girl mouthed these words, and the next moment, Mortalian fell into a deep sleep.

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The adolescence of childhood is absurd and ridiculous. A dream called "magical girl" is shattered. Everyone seems to wake up together with the eighteen-year-old adult. They take adult exams, go to university, and run around job fairs with their resumes.

Mortalian went to the other side of the ocean and became the chief executive of a giant pharmaceutical company, living a wealthy and enviable life—those magical girls from back then have all become leaders in their respective industries.

The Chaos Beast vanished, the magic vanished.

Hattis also disappeared.

Mortalian also ordered a case of spicy instant noodles online today.

END
(End of this chapter)