Warhammer: I don't want to be a stinky can! ! !

Chapter 779 [Halloween Special] Adult Time
(Warning: The characters are extremely corrupt; based on the background of this article, this may not happen; reality teasing (!!!); title fraud (?); gender reversal (???); if you cannot accept this, please avoid it yourself)

Final warning, the characters are extremely broken.

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"I think so."

Hades, wearing a black hooded sweatshirt and light grey sweatpants, stared at Mortarion thoughtfully.

"You can wear another pair of glasses."

Wearing a disposable blue medical mask, Mortarion muttered something incoherently, and then the Primarch stretched out his hand into the void. A moment later, a pair of black half-frame glasses appeared in the Primarch's hand.

Hades watched Mortarion put on his glasses. Combined with the god of death's skin color and dark circles as if he had been dead for seven hundred years, Hades was amazed and gave him a thumbs up.

“This tastes right.”

Tonight is Halloween, and the Primarchs on Terra have decided to have a reunion. Following the ancient festival tradition, everyone must dress up tonight.

The theme of Halloween tonight is set by Hades, which is "overtime, mortgage and 3k".

Yes, tonight, under the gaze of the moonlight, these dead people, vampires, space Romans, and winged sewer rats will disguise themselves as workers in the 3k era.

Because it was Hades who set the theme, it was not difficult for Hades to disguise himself. This ancient earthling naturally chose his previous industry, a programmer in a large company who was being exploited - God knows his original major was automation.

But in that era, the end of the universe was computers and civil service exams.

Wearing a black sweatshirt, cropped pants, glasses, and sneakers - Hades didn't choose a red plaid shirt, otherwise it would have been too pungent.

Mortarion's choice was a medical student who was currently undergoing training in the hospital. The Primarch's personality perfectly matched the psychology of medical students who were working like slaves in the hospital during this period. In short, he just didn't like anyone.

Hades looked at Mortarion, and Mortarion's dead fish eyes made Hades feel that Mortarion's choice was extremely suitable.
Hades whistled, flicked his wrist, and looked at his copycat electronic watch.
"It's almost time, GoGoGo! Lao Mo!"

He shouted and pushed Mortarion to hurry to the hall to gather. Hades wanted to see how the others were dressed, and Mortarion behaved like a man who was almost dying from working the night shift. He walked out of the room slowly with dark circles under his eyes.

By the way, Mortarion was wearing a death green short-sleeved surgical gown, a tight disposable blue surgical cap, his hair was tucked into the blue cap, and a button pen was pinned to his chest pocket.

[Wow, man, you are dressed really formally. ]

Angron's voice came from behind the closed door, and Hades pushed the door open and walked in. Some of the Primarchs had arrived early, and Hades saw Angron at a glance.

"Fuck."

This is Hades' first impression review.

Angron was wearing a giant orange frog costume. He took off the head of the costume and held it in his arms, with beads of sweat on his forehead.

Opposite Angron was Robert Guilliman, who was dressed in a neat suit. Perhaps because Angron's attire was too shocking, Guilliman nervously shook the large mechanical watch on his wrist, which was obviously a famous brand.

[I looked into Gutera's outfits. I think that's how people dressed at work at that time?]

Guilliman said this with some uncertainty. As he was busy with official duties, he was not as interested in this activity as his brothers who had free time and were just wandering around.

But his meticulously gelled blond hair and shiny leather shoes - if Robert Guilliman was from Ancient Terra, then he would probably be a president who walked out of a novel.

[I chose to be a middle-class finance practitioner. I don’t think I should have——]

Guilliman's blue eyes suddenly caught sight of Hades, and the Primarch smiled and changed the subject.
【I think I didn't go off topic?】

Guilliman saw Hades' reaction. There was no referee more authoritative than Hades here. Hades nodded quickly and gave Guilliman a thumbs up.

"The only omission,"

Hades said seriously,
"I feel like you're upper class."

Guilliman coughed awkwardly, and Angron laughed, resting his hand on the table behind him.

【Guess what I am, Hades! 】

This really stumped Hades. Was he selling things on the street? Or was he a doll in front of a milk tea shop soliciting customers?

He shook his head, and Mortarion calmly stated his suspicions.

【A mutant frog man of different colors.】

Angron let out a deafening laugh, slapping his thigh and laughing wildly.
[I knew mine was the hardest to guess—I was a kindergarten teacher at the Halloween event! ]

Can you still play like this?
Hades spit out a mouthful of salt soda. During the brief conversation, he had already touched the food. Hades decided to finish the desserts at the other banquet before drinking the poisoned wine, otherwise the other desserts would be ruined.

【Child,】

Mortarion said calmly,
[I didn't expect that the Lord of Red Sand likes children? ]

【He might be referring to... Never mind.】

Guilliman said in a low voice, then coughed politely, picked up the goblet filled with golden wine, and decided not to say anything more.

At this moment, the door was slammed open again, and the moment Hades saw the person coming, he spat out another mouthful of salt soda.

The visitors were Conrad and Corax, who were laughing loudly. Conrad was wearing a bright blue suit with black and white stripes on the back - yes, it was a free gift from the detention center.

And Corax, unsurprisingly, was wearing a police uniform with a baton on his waist. Hades thought that if Conrad got drunk, or was not drunk but made trouble maliciously, the baton on Corax's waist would become a wonderful tool that he would soon use.

No, buddy?

Ye Gemini is really good at making things happen.

Hades laughed so hard that he fell back and forth as if he was coughing. This time he guessed Guilliman correctly. The other Primarchs all used their thinking that was difficult for ordinary people to understand and chose the whole package.

Mortarion didn't get Hades's joke. He just frowned and stared at Conrad who was rushing towards the dining table. With a flash of cold light, a scalpel appeared in the Primarch's hand - if Conrad suddenly rushed over, he wouldn't mind giving him a knife.

Before Hades could wipe away the tears of laughter from the corners of his eyes, the other Primarchs arrived late.

Vulkan, a worker in a metallurgical factory (he adopted stray dogs and cats from a nearby construction site); Magnus, a university counselor (who would make sharp explosions because of the harsh messages his students sent him in the middle of the night, and was in a period of either promotion or resignation); Lorga, a missionary carrying a basket of eggs (I came from Zhumadian); Finus Manus, a scientific research programmer (who had a slight overlap with Hades, but Hades was convinced that he was the more miserable one); Fulgrim, the owner of a flower shop (who looked like he was living a peaceful and reclusive life).

The meeting room suddenly became noisy. Angron, the orange frog, was chasing Curze, who was in the detention center, and Curze was scared by Angron's perception ability and screamed. Hades, who was eating and drinking recklessly, was talking about the psychic trainee Mortarion with his university counselor Magnus with a sneer. Finus and Fulgrim were hiding in the corner, quietly in their own world.

Of course, the heavyweights are yet to come.

The door was opened again. Almost all the people had arrived. They could only be Sanguinius or Neos' group. The primarchs glanced over subconsciously and saw -

"Cough! Cough-cough-cough!"

Hades took a bite - this time it was steak in his mouth, but the King of Hell held back.

Sanguinius the Wanderer and Horus.

"Fuck."

Hades once again expressed his inexperienced feelings. Sanguinius and Horus were dressed like social outcasts, with tattered gray clothes, wispy hair, and shoulder bags - and more importantly, CDs tied behind their backs to reflect light at night.

The angel roughly tied up Sanguinius' wings with hemp and plastic ropes. Under the angel's operation, the wings were extremely limp, looking like they had collapsed due to long-term lack of blood. He hid the wings behind him.

If other civilians saw it, they would probably make a sharp explosion.

Guilliman was the first to come forward, but his outfit was a little awkward compared to Sanguinius and Horus, but there was no impatience on Guilliman's face - Guilliman himself did not show any disgust.

He gave Sanguinius a hug and a warm smile, ignoring the glare from Horus.

Although Horus accepted Guilliman becoming the Lord of the Empire, he was not completely at peace with it. However, Horus was frank about this and did not hide his depression.

【Welcome back, how was your trip? 】

Sanguinius and Horus went on an expedition outside Terra, which was also a benefit given to them by Guilliman.

[Very good, we went to see the sunset and sunrise in Bal. ]

Sanguinius smiled. Even though he was dressed sloppily, his smile was still sincere. Hades figured it out and finally understood what the 3k package of Sanguinius and Horus was.

“Poor travellers who are on the margins of society because of disability or bigotry.”

This is hell.

Hades choked himself, coughed, and continued to reach for the dessert on the far side of the table. Fortunately, except for Hades and Sanguinius themselves, the other Primarchs didn't quite understand what the two were cosplaying. This was just a costume dinner, so people were still arguing about their own affairs on Terra or in the Legion.

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"Uh……"

Hades stroked his chin, staring at the little Hades chess piece in school uniform on the table. "I'm going to take a one-on-one Chinese class for 10 points of financial resources."

Hades shot ten big pieces at Vulcan,
[Okay, you will be unable to act for the next three rounds. Correspondingly, your language intelligence will increase by 5 points each round. You can also choose to skip class and start a new round of actions.]

kp Vulcan wrote and drew on his own small blackboard accordingly. As a pastime, they were now playing a 3k group copy, [Misery].

Vulkan looked at Mortarion and signaled him to start his turn.
【I also go for one-on-one sessions. 】

Mortarion chose to follow Hades directly. Vulkan frowned and looked at the data.
[Sorry, my brother, you don't have enough money - you just bought a microscope and some gray potions in the previous round.]

【*】

Mortarion uttered an interjection, glanced at Hades, and reached out to touch Hades's small treasury.
【Take out the money.】

"Hey?! Hey! No money! Get lost!"

Hades kicked Mortarion away. The God of Death stopped and stared at Hades with resentment. Then he started a second round of attempts without giving up.

If this were reality, Hades would pay, but this is a game - Mortarion, get out of here!!!
[Skip them both! Skip Mortarion!]

Conrad protested, Vulkan looked at Mortarion hesitantly, Hades kicked Mortarion in the stomach, held his "money" tightly in his hand and looked into the distance, while Mortarion stretched his neck and hands to reach it, as if he was determined not to give up until he touched it.

【All right?】

Vulkan blinked. It seemed that getting the gold coins from Hades was more important than winning or losing the game. Mortarion's desire to win had been aroused, and the two of them looked like they were about to roll off the table and start a ground fight because of the struggle.

[So Conrad, you beat the homeless man who bullied students with a brick in public and then chose to flee away from the scene. Now you are forced into a dead end in an alley by the police who arrived later. What will you choose to do, go out and confess, or? ]

【Go out and confess.】

Corax pulled Conrad and said to Bat, he was the student who was blocked by the gangsters in the last round.
[I just confessed to the police. As long as you confess, you will be ruled as acting in self-defense.]

It looks like this is where Corax gets seriously into the game.

A sly smile appeared on Conrad's lips, and he rolled his dark eyes.

【No,】

He said crisply, made a face, pointed at the map,

[There was a telephone pole there, and I chose to climb it to escape.]

【well,】

Vulkan paused, looking hesitantly at Corax.

[Okay, you choose to climb the telephone pole to try to leave the dead end. Because of your previous behavior, you now have 75 points of climbing ability. Come, throw a dice. If the number is greater than 25, then you have escaped successfully.]

Conrad laughed. The full score is 100. Isn't this easy to grasp?

He casually rolled the dice, and then - all four 4-sided dice were 25.

【well……】

Corax covered his eyes and sighed.

In the background, Mortarion had been kicked to the ground by Hades. Not willing to be outdone, Death also pulled Hades down and tried to snatch the gold coins that Hades had raised in his right hand. Hades suddenly headbutted Mortarion, making a crisp "bang!" sound.

"You still have to practice! Prison bottom!"

Hades shouted to the dizzy Mortari.

【Big failure,】

Vulkan said, looking at the chessboard.
[You climbed up, but because the pole was leaking electricity, you were electrocuted and fell down in front of all the police. One of your legs was broken on the spot and you fell into a coma. You were unable to move on your own for the next five rounds.]

【Ah ...

Conrad screamed, and Corax was about to persuade him - but the door was opened again.

"?"

Hades suddenly felt that the hall was too quiet. Even Mortarion, who had been struggling and squirming on the ground trying to snatch the gold coin from his hand, stopped.

So Hades pushed his head hard against the ground and looked towards the door. In his upside-down world, he saw -

"What the hell?!!!"

"Why, my children, are you not enjoying yourself tonight?"

Neos raised an eyebrow and reached out to touch her long brown and black wavy hair that reached her hips. She was wearing a casual version of her usual white robe, which made the robe look more like a cheongsam or a dress, with a dark golden belt tied around her waist.

The gold-faced, red-soled high heels made her look like an empress—well, she was already an empress.

The healthy, slightly dark brown skin and the vague muscle lines are revealed as Neos moves.

The Emperor had a fiery red color on his lips and a perfect makeup. Hades could see the shiny gold glitter on the corners of his eyes and the provocative black eyeliner.

And those eyes, those damn eyes, normally people would be stunned when they saw the male version of him.

Those captivating eyes were now looking around at all the stunned Primarchs with a half-smile.

Boom!
The sound of a scepter hitting a thick carpet brought Hades back to his senses. Neos curled his lips in dissatisfaction and looked behind her.

Malcador appeared in formal attire, with a waist-length scepter inlaid with fist-sized gems, large green plate rings, bright red diamond rings and various colored rings interlaced on his ten fingers, and a deep, shining watch hidden between the sleeves of his suit.

His expression was still as if he wanted to jump off the building any second.

Malcador still looked like an old man, perhaps a little younger, but he was still not as tall as the Emperor, perhaps only reaching the Emperor's chest.

Neos put one hand on Malcador's shoulder without any psychological burden, tapping Malcador's shoulder casually with his fingers, and his long and pointed golden-red nails lingered in the light.

"Why? Isn't today a costume dinner?"

"You, you-you are cheating! Yellow skin!"

Hades howled. As the only one who could resist psychic attacks, Hades finally recovered from the physical injuries. This howl completely shattered the silence of the Primarchs.

Sanguinius, who was playing another game with Guilliman and his gang at another table, was the first to react. The archangel's face darkened almost visibly. He stretched out his foot from under the table and stepped on the foot of Horus, who had his mouth wide open and was almost drooling.

【! ? ! ! 】

The crushing pain finally woke Horus up. Horus coughed a few times and turned his head away, but his eyes still lingered on Neos, as if he was thinking of words of praise.

Guilliman then realized that unlike the other Primarchs, having a mother put Robert Guilliman far ahead.

Unlike the other Primarchs who had other meanings in their eyes, Guilliman simply lowered his head, held his forehead, sighed helplessly, and shook his head.

Nonsense, complete nonsense. Guilliman could guess what Neos was planning.

Mortarion stood up slowly and pulled Hades by the way - the Primarch would not say that the pull he just did almost sprain his waist.

[So what is your theme, Neos? ]

Mortarion was the first to sound the attack horn. The god of death stared at Neos angrily. With enough reason and hatred, Mortarion successfully got rid of the charm of the empress.

"Isn't it obvious?"

Neos smiled, and Mortarion finally saw an extremely familiar taste in that smile, that kind of despicable look. This guy had this kind of despicable smile when he was selling Sanguinius, preparing to run away, negotiating with Tzeentch, and preparing to betray his offspring - even if her smile was on her red lips, even if it was hidden in her long hair, Mortarion would know that this guy was up to something bad even if he died.

"The sponsor and his little lover."

Neos's words were not to be stunners, and Makado, whom she treated as a background tool for Miaomiao, had an expression of wanting to die in his eyes.

Among the silent Primarchs, the sound of gasps was particularly crisp, and everyone turned to look at Magnus.

Magnus's face turned even redder.
【Wait! Hey! No! It's not! -- I thought it would be more pure love. 】

Malcador rolled his eyes and tried to pry the Empress's hand off his shoulder, but failed.

"What do you think your father hasn't played before?"

Makado complained,

"Go and play with your children—I won't do anything about it, but don't bother me or my eyes, Neos."

(End of this chapter)