Since the Accounting: A Chronicle of the Roman Khanate

Chapter 812 I am a barbarian, and I do not accept the title of Rome.
After entering the forest, several monks who served as advisors in the court approached Sigismund in the group and said that there was a reason for discovering this place.

Sigismund and the others were curious. They had wanted to ask before, but the monastery by the forest no longer existed, and the mayor and councilors in the city, though they had miraculously survived, had received strict orders to quickly raise more military supplies and money, which was why they had only survived temporarily. Therefore, they dared not say anything.

Therefore, the Crusader high command was unaware of anything special about this area. Since someone had discovered the truth, everyone was happy to hear the story, even if just for amusement. Sigismund then summoned them to explain it to everyone.

The leading priest bowed and then introduced, "Your Majesty, this forest is most likely the Teutoburg Forest of yesteryear."

"And what place is that? Explain it clearly!" a duke asked impatiently.

"That's right. According to historical records, when the Roman Empire was first established, it was ambushed here by Germanic barbarians and lost several main legions." The priest explained, "This unexpected situation caused Augustus's strategic plan for the north to fail completely. Although it was later recovered, the empire forever lost its best opportunity to completely conquer Germania. The impact of this event continues to this day."

"So there's such a story..."

"Was the Roman Empire founded a hundred years ago? Who inflicted such a crushing defeat on them?"

"That's the Purple Horde, you idiot. The real Roman Empire has been around for a thousand years."

"..."

The nobles listened with great interest to the explanation and began to discuss it.

“It seems this is a good place for us Germanic barbarians,” Sigismund said with a smile. “I hope that this time, everyone will also receive the blessings of their ancestors and be as lucky as them to win the war.”

The nobles immediately agreed, but the monks quickly came out to correct them.

“You have misunderstood,” the leading priest quickly said. “You are the ‘King of the Roman People,’ how can you call yourself a barbarian? Moreover, ancestor worship is a custom of the ancient Romans, and now only some Easterners still have it. Their beliefs are very heretical, almost atheistic. How can we be like them? We should say ‘hope that God the Father will bless us.’”

"..."

Sigismund was quite annoyed that someone could make such a big deal out of a casual remark about good fortune. However, he didn't know how to retaliate in this regard, so he simply pressed on with the first point.

"In terms of bloodline, I myself am a descendant of Germanic tribes; in terms of legal system, the empire itself was transformed from some early Germanic tribes. These are very basic historical facts, and your church should understand them, right?" He pointed out, "Since both bloodline and legal system are Germanic, then, if you don't stand on the side of the Germanic people, are you going to stand on the side of the hostile Romans? Now I'm giving you a choice between the two. Tell me clearly, what are we really? How will you answer?"

"But……"

As a result, the priests couldn't answer even the simple question, "Who are we?" They even disagreed with each other, discussing it for a long time without reaching a conclusion.

As the discussion grew increasingly heated, many nobles came to join in the fun, taking the opportunity to praise Sigismund's intelligence and insight. It turned out that ever since the Grand Council convened, these clergymen had been spending their days showing off their erudition and trying to demonstrate their worth. But this behavior annoyed the nobles, who had long been fed up with these incompetent yet pretentious individuals.

Sigismund's single sentence rendered the self-proclaimed learned, intelligent, and cultured priests dumbfounded. They found it satisfying and could even subtly flatter their superior, so they joined in the mockery. Even the priests themselves were ultimately stumped by the simple question, "Am I Germanic or Roman?" After a brief discussion, the priests simply started arguing with themselves…

The nobles were starting to lose their composure, feeling that these priests were utterly useless. The priests, however, insisted that the issue was extremely important—but the nobles didn't understand why.

After the minor incident, everyone continued marching. However, they hadn't gone far when some people began to feel that something was wrong.

Several nobles hurriedly dismounted, clutching their stomachs and running to the roadside. Some even vomited before they could remove their armor. Before long, more and more nobles began to feel stomach pains, and even Sigismund himself frantically called for his servants to help him take off his trousers.

Everyone was astonished. They had specifically hired people to test the food they ate for poison, and they hadn't even dared to eat the food left by the Ming army last night. They only ate some this morning, after waking up very late and finding the test subjects still alive and kicking. How could they have been poisoned by that?
The nobles who hadn't been infected hadn't eaten together that morning, so the outcome was obvious. They immediately summoned the courtiers who had prepared the food and the few people who had tested the poison, and questioned them about what had happened.

The people who tested the poison were actually villagers randomly grabbed from nearby villages. They were terrified after being abruptly brought here. The leading nobleman immediately roared, "Has anyone touched that food? How could this situation have arisen?" He then drew his sword and brandished it, beginning to intimidate them.

“No, no, we’ve been watching the whole time.” The courtier was also very flustered: “I’ve been watching right there. Sir Stein can vouch for me.”

"Besides, none of the food is actually poisonous; otherwise, we would have all been poisoned to death long ago." The person who tested the food quickly explained, "We're all perfectly fine, aren't we?"

"Then what's going on here?" The interrogating nobleman was very dissatisfied, pointing at the crowd spraying everywhere, and questioned them sharply.

"It's diarrhea," the person testing the poison immediately and honestly replied.

"I didn't ask you what the symptoms were." The nobleman quickly steered the conversation back on track: "They've been poisoned. Do you know how serious that is?"

“This isn’t poisoning, sir.” The poison tester waved his hand. “The stuffed bread that you men ate this morning is supposed to give you diarrhea. But it’s not harmful. Once you’ve had it, you’ll be fine. We’ve all had it done, and there’s nothing wrong with it.”

"They've all emptied their bowels like this, and you still say there's no problem?" The nobleman was furious, but looking at the innocent-looking poison testers, he felt that scolding and beating them would probably be useless, so he took the back of his sword and lashed the courtier: "These country bumpkins don't understand, and neither do you? Don't pretend to be an idiot!"

"My lord, I truly have no idea!" The courtier was almost in tears. "In the past two years, that Roman-style banquet has become popular in the court. The nobles have brought in emetics from Italy, and after eating, they vomit, then continue eating. I've served His Majesty for several years, and I've even organized these kinds of banquets myself." "This time, the effect after eating was diarrhea, but no other harm. So I assumed that the nobles had deliberately arranged it this way."

"Can vomiting and diarrhea be the same thing?" the nobleman couldn't help but retort.

"Actually, it's pretty much the same thing. It's all because the food didn't digest properly and just came out." The courtier thought for a moment and said, "Anyway, according to our local customs, it's not considered poisoning."

"..."

"So, seeing that they were all alright, I reported it and then left it at that."

"Who did you report to?" The nobleman was speechless, but upon hearing that there were other relevant personnel, he quickly asked.

“Sir Stein,” the courtier answered without hesitation, seemingly having nothing to hide.

"He didn't tell you to pay attention? He just ignored it?" the nobleman retorted.

“He also drank too much last night,” the courtier replied. “Several of our superiors were drunk, so no one gave me a solution—besides, His Majesty and the others were also drunk, so they probably couldn’t report anything.”

"That morning..."

“They were already ready this morning,” Tingchen said, pointing to several people who had been testing the poison.

"..."

The leading nobleman was speechless with frustration. Beside him, a younger nobleman quickly pressed on, "So you're just going to ignore everything? Not every noble in the entire court is so drunk they're unconscious. Can't you even report it?"

“No, sir.” The courtier immediately waved his hand: “Our Roman Empire is a strictly feudal state. Especially in His Majesty’s court, all kinds of etiquette and regulations are very strict. From courtiers to servants, everyone has their own assigned position and must strictly abide by it. One cannot do less or more of one’s feudal obligations.”

"Previously, the servant responsible for clearing His Majesty's table noticed that the decorated fabric and cushion on his chair had slipped to the floor, so he picked them up and put them back on. When His Majesty found out, he punished the servant according to the rules, because he had done something outside his authority," the courtier explained expertly.
"Moreover, this is not a new rule, but a custom that has been in place for many years. Decades ago, King Charles of Navarre wrapped his body in strips of cloth soaked in strong liquor to treat an illness. As a result, a maid accidentally set the cloth on fire, causing the king to catch fire. However, the surrounding nobles and servants did not overstep their bounds, but waited for the person in charge of handling accidents to arrive. Unfortunately, they arrived a little too late, and the king was burned to death."

"In such circumstances, even if the king himself suffers, he must strictly adhere to the doctrine, which shows how sacred and important our order is." The courtier concluded, "I am merely a lowly servant; how can I violate such fundamental principles?"

His words made the nobles seem like country bumpkins who didn't understand court etiquette and feudal order. They had no choice but to avoid the topic, but the courtiers persisted in their stance, repeatedly saying things like "diarrhea is not poisoning" and "laxatives and vomiting medicines are the same, just the special pleasures of noble lords."

The worst part is that the reason these nobles didn't spit out their drinks was because they were rather "country bumpkins." Although they were able to attend yesterday's banquet, they didn't drink much. In the morning, when the high-ranking nobles held a small gathering for breakfast, they weren't included, so nothing happened.

Therefore, they were indeed country folk with little knowledge of court etiquette, and also quite unfamiliar with the refined pleasures of city dwellers. If this were said aloud, they would likely be laughed at by the nobles, so they had to keep it to themselves…

Meanwhile, the high-ranking nobles were still running around with diarrhea. Some couldn't control themselves and even soiled their armor and horses. The army's hygiene was already poor, and now the stench was overwhelming. Mercenaries and lower-ranking nobles ran around holding their noses, while the servants scrambled to help their masters change clothes and wash their armor.

As a result, the marching speed of the troops was forced to slow down again.

After all the trouble was finally over, the nobles returned to their posts. Sigismund, his face ashen, summoned Sir Stein and all those involved, demanding accountability. But everyone was shifting blame, and what they said actually sounded quite reasonable.

Yesterday, the indiscriminate killing of people in the monastery by his men had already sparked some private discussions. Moreover, this incident involved the face of too many nobles, so it couldn't be dealt with casually.

Therefore, in front of so many outsiders, Sigismund couldn't afford to make a scene. He could only pretend to be fair and order his soldiers to arrest all these people. After the battle was over, he would bring the victimized nobles along for trial to give everyone an explanation.

And so, they were delayed for another half a day, and found an open space to camp that night. They didn't reach the depths of the forest until the next day.

However, this area was developed relatively early and is now a fairly populated and economically decent place. Much of the forest along the road has been logged, and even the deepest parts of the forest aren't as dense and eerie as the Black Forest they had previously passed through. Even the road itself looks freshly repaired; the surface is smooth, and drainage ditches have been dug on both sides – the workmanship is very meticulous.

Therefore, the Crusaders were not so nervous marching through such a clearly "civilized" place. This was because ambushes were not as easily set up in such terrain.

Along the roadside, there were small plots of flat land formed by logging and clearing, and occasionally even a village could be seen. However, upon entering, it was discovered that the villagers had long since vanished, and everything that could be taken from the houses was gone, rendering them useless. The Crusaders destroyed these small houses, saying they couldn't let the enemy take over or use them. However, apart from a small group of Ming troops on the mountain pass, they didn't seem to encounter any enemies along the way.

Some Saxon nobles told Sigismund that the most dangerous place was ahead, in the Osnin Forest—or rather, the small mountain range in the center of the Teutoburg Forest. There, the road bends to avoid the surrounding hills and dense forest. This place was ideal for an ambush, and vigilance should be heightened.

So Sigismund sent out the Cumans and some mercenaries ahead of time, ordering them to seize the hilltop at the corner and check for signs of the enemy.

(End of this chapter)