The Lord of the Rings: Lords of Middle-earth.

Chapter 127 Middle-earth's "Fermented Herring"

Swiftflow City.

“Lance and the others have been gone for several days. I wonder if they are safe…” Roland said with some concern.

"There shouldn't be any problem. They're already out of Kaldor's detection range. If they were any further, I wouldn't be able to get back in a day," Caslo said helplessly.

"Well, I hope I'm just overthinking it," Roland sighed.

"Don't worry, Your Highness, there won't be any problem with so many people following them, unless they encounter a large orc army. However, I don't think the orcs are capable of organizing a large army to appear in that area now," Renault reassured him.

“I’m not worried about the orcs, I’m worried about the magical beasts that roam among them. You know, the magical beasts at night are much more terrifying than the orcs.” Roland shook his head helplessly.

"Forget it, I don't want to think about it anymore! Thinking too much will give me a headache! What should I eat for breakfast?" Roland stretched.

Suddenly, Roland's expression changed and he hurriedly said, "If anyone brings me that raw caviar that can make you vomit your dinner again today, don't blame me for slapping it in the face!"

Roland, though speaking fiercely, couldn't hide his ashen face. Clearly, he was recalling some unpleasant memories. Yesterday morning, when he first saw this specially prepared delicacy, he was utterly astonished! The smell almost killed him. And this was supposedly a delicacy exclusively for the Lagrang nobility… Thinking about it, Roland, who had been holding back for so long, suddenly vomited! So… the Lagrang nobility liked to eat—excrement? Roland was utterly shocked. How did they even get this stuff in their mouths? So Middle-earth also had biological weapons comparable to canned herring! If Roland had had a few of this raw, marinated caviar during the Battle of Lonely Mountain, the Swiftfoot wouldn't have needed to fight so desperately. Just smearing this "excrement" on themselves would have been enough to overwhelm the Orcs; even those filthy Orcs probably couldn't stand the smell…

So Roland really wanted to ask, "Are you truly offering this to your king?" But when he saw those sincere faces, he fell silent. It was said that the ingredients were carefully selected! Only the fattest, fertilized white fish roe was needed! The production process was difficult, requiring dozens of fermentation steps, resulting in a highly nutritious product! They had been working on it since winter, and only now had they produced the finished product, barely enough to fill a few fist-sized jars! And then they presented it to him…

"Spare me..." Roland wanted to burst into tears just thinking about it. Those Lagrange chefs were the masters of culinary disasters. The yellow and black color, the soft paste-like texture, and the grainy appearance... most importantly, it could be stretched into strands!

The chef, dismissed by Roland, assumed the lord had no appetite and didn't want to try the highly nutritious dish, so he took it away. Little did he expect! That evening, when Roland planned to have a late-night snack… it was brought back to him… Roland immediately vomited. It's no exaggeration to say that he not only threw up leftovers, but also his stomach acid, and finally, yellow bile. Imagine ordering takeout late at night, expecting a delicious meal, only to find a pile of poop inside—a stringy, oozing mess. (The scene is too moving to describe in detail. If any readers want to experience this, consider buying a genuine can of herring, heating it until it becomes a paste… Trust me, your mother won't want you after you open it.)
Then Roland developed a psychological aversion to this stuff. On Earth, Roland was skeptical about the power of canned herring, but now he truly believed it. It turns out there really is food that can incite the wrath of gods and men, repel ghosts and spirits, impervious to all laws, ward off all evil, and move all living beings. To be honest, even the yellow dogs in Swiftstream City don't eat this stuff!
“Yes, Your Highness!” Renault replied hastily, clearly not fond of the smell either.

"Heavens! What kind of amazing chefs are these?" Roland sighed. Ever since things slowly got back on track, Roland's recipes had gradually become strange. This raw marinated caviar was just one of the most unbearable dishes for Roland. There were also some bizarre dishes that were simply amazing!
They dug up cicada pupae from the ground, fried them until golden brown, and stuffed them into quails. Then, they smoked the quails and stuffed them into rabbits. After roasting the rabbits, they stuffed them into lambs. Finally, they put the lambs in a large pot to simmer into a thick broth. They kept simmering the broth until only a small bowl remained. Then, they discarded the meat and kept only that bowl of milky-white broth. So Roland wondered if these people were brain-dead. Were they simply richer, or did they no longer have a food shortage?

That's just a waste at most, and I'll let it slide considering their sincerity and loyalty. But the next dish is just too much! They want me to eat raw pig intestines! You read that right, raw pig intestines! Made from freshly caught wild boar, the skin is peeled off, the whole suckling pig is roasted, the intestines are cleaned with hot water, and then carefully sliced ​​into rings like onions with a silver knife, garnished with a carefully blended spice mix… I was like, "Good heavens!" I just flipped the table! Even though I, Roland, am just a small-time king in the countryside, I'm still a king! I'm not some fame-obsessed streamer, eating raw pig intestines… Do you know how much strength Roland had to use his right hand to hold down his left hand that was drawing a sword?
At that moment, Roland inexplicably missed the black bread and grilled fish made by the refugee cooks and cooks. Compared to these things, those cheap foods were simply delicacies!

Ever since citizens began to appear among the refugees attracted to Swiftstream City, several Lagrange chefs were recruited to cook for Roland in the lord's castle. As a result, they lived up to their reputation as chefs, producing one culinary disaster after another for Roland. Now Roland is a little afraid to eat, fearing that these geniuses will serve him some new and strange dishes...

The steaming, white-smoke-filled brain of the monstrous, super-strong monkey!

Sturgeon slices that can still jump and dance in the long plate even after being sliced!
Freshly cut bear paws are skinned, blanched, simmered in sauce, thickened with cornstarch, and reduced...

They are not only good at innovation, but also love to be close to nature. High-end ingredients often only require the simplest cooking methods!
So much so that now Roland has to consult the menu before every meal to see if he needs to eat bread to fill his stomach... The saddest thing is that when Roland suggested changing back to the original chef, most people objected, with only Ivy being the only one who agreed, since what these people were doing was really inconsistent with their doctrines...

……

"Your Highness, there is vegetable porridge, toasted white bread, some cured meat, and an egg for breakfast." Soon someone brought Roland the menu.

"Phew!" Roland breathed a sigh of relief. After all, there were no strange or unusual things in the breakfast, so he could eat it without worry.

(End of this chapter)